Friday’s Quizzlet: Kingdom Of Buttocks.

Appetizer: Whose intelligence do you find intimidating?
Definitely the artificial I, Robot/Terminator variety. I’m not easily intimidated by other, lesser humans. So luckily I’ll be long dead before the robots come. But heed my warning future generations – they will come.

Soup: Name something you’ve done that surprised yourself.
I had a mediocre party last weekend. That’s definitely never happened before. I thought I was immune to the bad party – I’ve been throwing killer benders since I was 16. It wasn’t an awful soiree. Everyone there had a good time. But it was certainly sub-par by my standards and it’s been bothering me. Sure, the weather really kicked it in the schnutz, but I thought my magical par-tay powers would somehow transcend Mother Nature. Mother Nature to David: “Grow the fuck up”.

Salad: List 3 people whom you have only “met” online, but consider good friends.
Three? People can actually have up to three online friends that they’ve never met? Here’s where my much bemoaned nerdery gets a hall pass. I have been blessed with many friends – but I’ve been in the same room with all of them. Thank God it’s not as bad as I’d originally thought. Although I did get awfully excited last night when I went to see Kingdom of Heaven with Art & Monster, and we stumbled across the Boston premiere of Return of the Sith. But with Lenny Clarke and Darth Vader in the same lobby – can you really blame me?

Main Course: Where is the dirtiest place you’ve ever been?
What is dirty? Is dirty a public restroom in downtown Newark? Is dirty a tasty martini with olive brine added instead of vermouth? Is dirty having to replace your red rubber ball gag due to excessive teeth mark induced disintegration? I don’t rightly know. One can only keep striving for the truth.

Dessert: What is the best example of “perfection” that you can think of?
I had to preempt the laugh of a child, Surfer Rosa and Saganaki for Vida Guerra’s hindquarters. Aristotle once said, “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work”. Well WORK… Work it girl! OK – I’ve quoted a RuPaul song. That’s akin to saying “Candyman” three times in front of a mirror – but instead of getting murdered by a black ghost, you just go gay. Uncannily, the antidote just happens to be Vida’s tush. That was a close one.

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