May 16 2005
The Smirnoff Ice Is On The Other Foot.
Saturday night Art and I were walking down Salem Street when I was approached by a young lad of 14 I recognized as one of my little neighbor’s best buddies. “Excuse me sir, can I ask you a question?” Considering our proximity to Martignetti’s, I knew exactly what that question was going to be. “I don’t like the sounds of this, kid” I replied.
I looked down at the slick little bastard in the Jay-Z T-shirt and felt like I was looking at myself, 16 years ago. But it would have been a Public Enemy shirt. Then he popped the question - “Can you get me a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice, please?” I looked down at him and broke into a smile.
I don’t know what struck me as more humorous - the fact he’d ordered such a girly beverage, or the fact that I actually considered buying it for him, if only for a second. If it somehow got back to her that I’d bought booze for one of her son’s friends there’d be a brick through my window faster than you can say, brick. “Listen, I know one of your buddy’s mothers - so I really can’t help you out.” I didn’t stich my little neighbor up and actually use his name, but apparently Jay-Z took my word for it. He said that was “cool” and then retreated to a side street like greased lightning.
Had you told me I’d shut a kid down in that sort of situation today - back when I was 14 - I’d have told you you were crazy. That I’d never be such a buzz-ripping stiff. Then again, I would have also told you that “Rebel Without A Pause” was the greatest song ever recorded.
Are we supposed to use this pic for Monday’s quotelet?
No, ding dong. Sometimes I’m capable of more than one post a day. I am sending Art back to you in one piece. I heard you and Dan broke up. What gives?
He’s a wang. Er, sorry, what I meant to say is that everytime we go out drinking, all he can think about is his wang.
What’s really gratifying in such situations is taking the money and using it to upgrade your own order at the liquor counter. That is if your name isn’t Richy and teenage kids didn’t scare the crap out of you.