Friday's Quizzlet: I Found My Thrill.

Appetizer: Name 3 things that you think are strange.
Celebutants: That strange mixture of privilige, wealth, fame - and no good reason for any scrap of it. Dog people: Why do cat people always like dogs too, but self-professed dog people always hate cats and wear it pompously like some sort of badge? How the hell can you vehemently hate a cat? And why do you like to tell me this over and over when you know that I have one? This has happened to me like 14 separate times recently. You're all fucking retarded. Pearl Jam: How has this boring, mediocre band acheived Christ-like reverance all over the world? You might as well be listening to Genesis.

Soup: What was the last ceremony you attended?
Heather and Chris' Wedding in Newport. At least I'm told I was there. It was an interesting foray. Have a look at the gallery for the details.

Salad: What is one lesson you have learned in the past year?
As much as I despise them, telephones always trump email when doing business. I am trying to get in touch with my inner Rockefeller.

Main Course: Tell us about one of your childhood memories.
There was a burned out farmhouse foundation in the middle of a field behind my house that all the kids named "Blueberry Hill". As we were all obsessed by Mad Max, we formed several gangs (I was the leader of the Eagles) and jockeyed for position at different strategic points around the neighborhood. We used to make weapons out of things we'd find in our father's garages and go have little turf battles. Anyway, once, after leading a particularly violent attack on Blueberry hill, I had half the parents in the neighborhood out trying to lynch me. Adorable.

Dessert: If you could extend a season which would you pick?
Fall. Boston is too hot or too cold for 95% of the year. Once an annum, for about 2 weeks, it's just right. This city is like living on Mars.

A Nice Little Saturday.

"Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond. I don't know. I don't know if we'll have enough time." I'm mystified as to how that line has become one of the most quoted from the ripe stock of Old School, but it has and it's hilarious. It's also all I could think about when I sat down today to write about my weekend, because Saturday was a heck of a jam-packed 24 hours. I'm not sure how I pulled it off, exactly. A wine and cheese kitty play date, a Bruins game, a birthday party - they all factored in, and many funny photos were taken along the way.



I figure the best thing to do is create a gallery, also including the many snaps that were taken back on St. Patrick's Day weekend - which also happened to include much revelry, a Bruins game, a Pogues concert and a birthday party. March came in like a liquored lion, and went out like a liquored lamb, I guess. Enjoy the lovely tableau, and I'll get back to my own charming and verbose self tomorrow. And check out GoonBlog's awesome new logo while you're at it!

Monday's Quotelet: Angry, Angry Hippos.

Officials at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska were thrilled enough at the birth of their baby hippo. The fact that it had traveled here from an other dimension to eradicate the human race was just icing on the cake.

Roach Jewelry Realities.

No time at the moment for a proper Quizzlet. Jammed up with conference calls all day. But here's a funny story to make you smile in the meantime. About a year ago, I made myself giggle when I thought of a particularly catchy domain name while having a conversation with Smash - so I registered it. 6 months after that, I finally got around to doing something with it, and in the meantime it's been spidered by all the major search engines and does very well for a selection of specific (and completely unsearched for) terms.

That is until Tuesday's edition of America's Next Top Model, when apparently someone wore live cockroach jewelry during the episode. My ridiculous site got over 2,000 hits yesterday and still climbing. Talk about right place, right time. And absolutely no hope of a revenue stream, ever. Still, it's a heck of a thing.

The Tumbleweeds Of Creative Suffocation.

The last few weeks on the blog have been fairly frantic, with at least 7 decent posts a week keeping' 'er going. But during the play performance-related hiatus, and my sickness yesterday, my daily traffic has dropped over 25%. Talk about fairweather fans. Where is everybody going? Rest assured - I'll return shortly to wax ridiculous about pop culture, hippies and hookers. I'll be back in the saddle of silliness quicker than crap through a goose. For pete's sake, have a little faith in me, folks.

The return to work this morning was tantamount to arriving for tsunami beach-clean-up detail, so I must keep this short and get back to the mines. But I'll be making use of my new found freedom and writing fast and furious again real soon. Thanks for your patience, support and allowing me to imagine any patience or support.

And to the new reader who found us earlier today by typing "piss-stained underpants" into Google - welcome aboard. It only gets worse.

I Shall Return.

The play has me run ragged. I feel like I haven't slept in days, and I'm currently thanking Christ that tonight is the last show. If you're coming, I'll see you there. Get to the Asylum by 6:30.

Monday's Quotelet: Getting Quite An Earful.

Flappy's final moments were spent secure in the knowledge he had won the bet, and actually shat in a polar bear's ear. To this day, the other magpies tweet his praises.

Friday's Quizzlet: Asparagus, Lettuce And Black Olives.

Appetizer: What job would you definitely not want to have?
Take it easy, James Lipton. I wouldn't want to be anything I've already been, because it would feel like somewhat of a step backwards. However, considering you can count window-washer, landscaper, waiter, bouncer, constuction laborer and liquor store clerk on that list - That's a bit of a no-brainer. As an aside, there are many days I wish I was a homicide detective.

Soup: Oprah wants you on her show. What would it be about?
My whirlwind, tri-country, peanut-oil-soaked, illegal, sweaty love affair with Rachel Weisz, of course. I'd jump up and down on the couch and everything.

Salad: Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
Terri Schiavo, Helen Keller and Frida Kahlo. It's not assault if they blink twice for 'yes'.

Main Course: You can be in any bar anywhere today - which would you pick?
Smuggler's Inn! No question. JP and I used to frequent this wonderful dive when our parents lived in Hong Kong, and I hope I get to darken its door again some day. We made many great friends there, and I am pretty sure my signed Canadian $5 bill is still stapled to the ceiling. Favorite memories include silly string fights with the natives, real fights with American sailors, my temporary Chinese girlfriend who threw up all over the 3 square foot bathroom, midnight van rides through the mountains with Malkie and of course the legendary Mr. Andy Kirk.

Dessert: If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would they do?
I'd have them follow me around, taking tons of photos. I'd push them away and shield my face as if I were a hot shit celebrity. When women invariably asked me where they knew me from, I'd simply answer: Real World 18 - West Newton. And then I'd mention that my room number was also 18, and then ask them if they were.

Pogue Mahone Ye Feckin' Eeedjits.

Last St. Patrick's Day I wrote up a little criticism of Boston SPD revelers which I still think is pretty funny. So have a look before you read on today. I don't think I'll top it in my current work-stressed state of mind. To quote one of my own thoughts from last year: "As it grows closer to quitting time, I'd just like to voice my appreciation for holidays which revolve entirely around alcohol. My 2nd favorite being, of course, Arbor Day." Rather than try to be cute today I'm going to provide a few plageurized facts...

- St. Patrick's Day marks the Roman Catholic feast day for Ireland's patron saint, who died in the 5th century. St. Patrick (Patricius in Latin) was not born in Ireland, but in Britain.

- At a meeting of the American Heart Association in Orlando, Florida, three years ago, researchers reported that Guinness may be as effective as daily aspirin in reducing the blood clots that cause heart attacks.

- Irish brigands kidnapped St. Patrick at 16 and brought him to Ireland. He was sold as a slave in the county of Antrim and served in bondage for six years until he escaped to Gaul, in present-day France. He later returned to his parents' home in Britain, where he had a vision that he would preach to the Irish. After 14 years of study, Patrick returned to Ireland, where he built churches and spread the Christian faith for some 30 years.

- Many myths surround St. Patrick. One of the best known—and most inaccurate—is that Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland into the Irish Sea, where the serpents drowned. (Some still say that is why the sea is so rough.) But snakes have never been native to the Emerald Isle. The serpents were likely a metaphor for druidic religions, which steadily disappeared from Ireland in the centuries after St. Patrick planted the seeds of Christianity on the island.

- In the United States, it's customary to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. But in Ireland the color was long considered to be unlucky. Irish folklore holds that green is the favorite color of the Good People (the proper name for faeries). They are likely to steal people, especially children, who wear too much of the color.

- Today New York's St. Patrick's Day parade is the longest running civilian parade in the world. This year nearly three million spectators are expected to watch the spectacle and some 150,000 participants plan to march.

Tonight will be my last hurrah before a grueling 3-day performance schedule. I will be at Tiernans 'larging it' by 9pm if anyone's looking for something to do. I had better plans, but they fell through - however I'm keeping a stiff upper liver. It's nice to have a local, a home base, a rock - full of people you know no matter what night of the week you drop in. This is one of the things I miss about England, but over the years T's has become an extension of my living room. So, when all is said and done, I suppose my St. Patrick's Day is going to be spent exactly as it was meant to be, and has been for the last 7 years now. Slainte!

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark. Seriously.

My first, and let's face it - probably last - acting foray begins this Sunday evening. Don't be Afraid of the Dark hits the stage at the Improv Asylum this week to I'm assuming awesomely rave reviews and soggy-eyed packed houses. This will be my final pre-play shuck and jive, and I encourage you all to come check out one of the performances. I have almost 20 friends confirmed to come to the Tuesday 7pm show - as that is the last performance and I intend to have a celebratory cockytail or two afterwards in a licensed North End purveyor of adult libations. If you want to come, make it Tuesday night and let me know so I can reserve you a ticket. While you're making up your mind, have a gander at our first cast photo:



Let's see... you've got the vamp, evil monster, ingenue, shrew, maid, butler, nerd, nurse, male nurse, lawyer and cop (me). And let me save you the trouble - I'm obviously also a huge nerd, just not dressed as one in this particular example. Listen - I know it's a school night, and some of you will have to drive a fair spell to get here, but I want everyone to be aware and have the details should you want to come and marvel at my almost unspeakable narcissism.

He Wears Short Shorts. And Is A Twat.

There's a new fad sweeping the city of Boston and I'm going to need a little help from my readers in order to ever fully hope to fathom it. I'm talking about college age men, or slightly thereafter, walking around outside in 40 degree weather with shorts on. Cargo shorts usually, which end just above the knee and contain lots of interesting, and I'm sure integral, pockets. Without meaning to sound harsh, please kill yourselves.

Let's say we've been in the middle of a cold snap, and then suddenly the temperature rises five points one sunny afternoon. These little bastards run home to change and come out in full force - inappropriate shorts just a' blazing. I'm taking the time to write about this not because it offends me or because I'm concerned for their immune system or anything. It's simply one of the most retarded things I've ever seen. It has to be the most uncomfortable and useless fad since the fucking corset.

Enthralled, annoyed and disturbed at the same time, this journalist looked for more re-re instances of this silliness online. Here's what I found:

- A related discussion featuring some Canadian twat who says he wears the shorts just to see people's shocked expressions. Wow - that is so punk rock.

- The Senior VP of HR at Microsoft wears shorts in winter. And eats concentrated orange juice cans full of bacon fat by the vanload, apparently.

- Someone visiting Brussels was so alarmed by the sight of shorts wearers that they snapped a picture and blogged it. Personally, I would have been more concerned with the man standing off to the right with his hands down the front of his pants - who also seems to be 'enjoying' the exposed flesh.

- A local Boston blogger originally from California also shares my bewilderment: There's always the crazy guy who wears shorts all winter (I'm sure just to stand out--people call him the "shorts guy"). First of all, I'm glad you get to help pick the nicknames, cause that one is world class. Secondly, of course he does it to stand out. He was probably raised in a closet by an uncle, and digitally bum raped multiple times on poker night.

This article is taking a sharp turn for the worst. Just stop wearing the shorts in winter people. Fauxhawks and bad lower-back tattoos serve the same purpose, and don't lead to pnemonia.

Good Luck With The Crashing Night Guilt.

Did anyone else think that Crash was an exceptionally mediocre film? I just finished watching it and I may never bother to sit through the Oscars again. I am fairly good at explication, but just what is the goddamned theme supposed to be anyway? All races are capable of racism? I already knew that. Predjeduces may be innacurate? Prejeduces may be extremely fucking accurate? Terence Howard looks like he uses a crimping iron? The movie should have been called "Guilt".

I also watched Good Night and Good Luck last night. As much of a fan as I am of historical and biographical movies, I was tempted to paint one of my bedroom walls halfway through. So I could watch it dry instead. I need films that have a little something extra in order to be fully entertained. Like "Ernest Goes To..." tacked on to the beginning of the title.

Wednesday Wadio: Pogues' Sick Bed Of Cuchulainn

Interviewer: What's your poison these days?
Shane: I like wine, and I drink Peach Schnapps. It's only 21 percent.
Interviewer: That sweet stuff'll rot your teeth.
Shane: I haven't got any teeth. - Playboy

Sick Bed is my very favorite Pogues song, and I listen to it constantly. I had the distinct and unlikely pleasure of seeing them last night at the Orpheum here in Boston. I say unlikely, because anyone who knows anything about Shane McGowan is well aware of his severe drink problem, and the fact that he comes close to death as casually as you or I flick off a lightswitch. When I heard they were touring this year, I figured it was without Shane (as they did from 91-to 2001) so imagine my pleasant surprise. It was a truly great time.



In Irish mythology, Cuchulainn "is taken ill when he is attacked in a dream by two women with horsewhips (he lay asleep in his sickbed for a year as a result)". That's kinda hot, especially if they feed you whiskey in your hospital of choice. Horsewhips aside, not only is this song catchy, rocking and pleasing to the ear - it tells a crazy story about a man who, among other things, pisses himself, gets thrown out of a bar, has his head kicked in and then vomits in a church. Shane is a little hard to understand at times, and you can read the full lyrics here:

When you pissed yourself in Frankfurt and got syph down in Cologne
And you heard the rattling death trains as you lay there all alone
Frank Ryan bought you whiskey in a brothel in Madrid
And you decked some fucking blackshirt who was cursing all the Yids
At the sick bed of Cuchulainn we'll kneel and say a prayer
And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil's in the chair

Anti-semitism, venerial disease and whorehouses - now that sounds like a Saturday night. Here's Shane himself talking about the ditty from his book "A Drink With Shane McGowan": "It’s about how every old dosser you meet on the street has got a history. He’s got a history of probably fighting in a couple world wars, maybe the Spanish Civil War." And how did the book come to be? Glad you asked: "It's a bunch of interviews that she did while I was drunk. I said a lot of things about people that I wouldn't have said if I hadn't been drunk and talking to my wife. But what's done is done, and I think it's a good book." While we're at it, here's a great collection of drinking references in Pogues songs.



You can listen to the song for yourself by clicking Radio Pye to your left. The pictures you see were taken by myself last night during and after the show, and I've also uploaded a few video clips of which the audio and picture isn't too bad. If you're a fan, check them out. First off is their rousing performance of Sick Bed, during which I swear I felt the Orpheum's balcony shifting with the weight of drunken, dancing Irishmen. The twat you can hear singing along is none other than yours truly:



I also got clips of Lonely Pair of Brown Eyes, Fairytale of New York and you can even enjoy watching Shane shoot a hat that is thrown at him like it's a clay pigeon. From the size of the whiskey bottle you can see him take a pull off of in the Fairytale clip, skeet was probably only one of many foreign objects he saw floating past him on stage last night. And as it happens, I'll only stop listening to the Pogues when pink elephants fookin' fly. I'm thrilled I can now cross "See the Pogues Live" off my list. And throwing up in a church.

The Play And The Pogues.

In about 15 minutes I have to rush back to the North End for a 5pm play practice. Our first performance is Sunday at 2pm, and there's precious little time left to work out the many kinks. It is very time consuming, and I'll be glad when it's all said and done a week from tonight, but it's been a fun experience. Again, if you need tickets - email me. They are going fast and Sunday's shows are nearly sold out. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday - done. Get on it.

I'm ducking out around 1/2 way through the second act to sneak back up to the Orpheum to see the mighty Pogues who are on tour with Shane McGowan for the first time in 15 years. Apparently someone in Ireland has finally figured out how to reanimate dead tissue. I am insanely excited, and will give you a full update and a related Wadio tomorrow.

Oh Long Johnson. Oh Don Piano.

Sorry for the lack of any posts today. Blogger was down. I am chiming in now because I've been laughing about this video all day and I want to share. I think it's from America's Funniest Home Videos or something, and it shows a variety of talking cats. They don't really talk, but they mimic human voices and it's really freaky and hilarious. Make sure you watch it all the way through, as the black cat at the end is the best part. Oh I eyes ya.

UPDATE: Here's another great cat-related video. The theme here seems to be attacking infants, which is always a treat.

Monday's Quotelet: Cow About A Little Head?

Tickle Me Elmo and the Cabbage Patch Kids had nothing on Malaysia's newest toy craze - My Little Cowhead.

You Bastard. You Bruined Everything!

Lynch and I went to the hockey game last night, as he got sweet tickets from his Mammy as a Christmas present. Thanks again, buddy. Much appreciated. I got some great photos and posted them and wrote the evening up over at GoonBlog. This is called shameless-self-cross-promotion if anyone's still fuzzy on that.

Friday's Quizzlet: The Birds And The Threes.

In keeping with tradition, I've stolen another quiz for everyone to try. I'm extremely late for work, as I wait for a charming gentleman with more hair on his neck than on his head to fix my dishwasher. So I'll get this nonsense out of the way in the meantime.

Three things I plan to do before I die:
Reproduce - Travel to Greece - Act.

Three things I can do:
Play guitar - Make people laugh - Write.

Three things I can not do:
Fix cars - Snowboard - Eat seafood.

Three things that I find attractive about the opposite sex:
Scent - Empathy - Behinds.

Three things I say the most:
Holy Fuck - Comprehensive - Eh?

Three books I love:
The Power of One - Life of Tom Horn - Borstal Boy.

Fun With Live Boston Crime Statistics

It's amazing how creative and inquisitive one can become when they haven't had an adult alcoholic libation for nearly 2 weeks. I think I need to go on booze sebbatical a lot more often. Anyhew, during my hyper online meanderings last night I came across this simple yet fascinating section of Boston-Online that you've just got to have a gander at.

I'm proud to present - a live Boston Crime Map. Shortly after any little bugger shoots, stabs or robs a citizen of our fair city - they're plonked onto this map for the rest of us to rubberneck. The homeless guy who was set on fire in the North End on Sunday? Check. The two teenagers randomly stabbing people on the Common Saturday night? Check. Let's move over to Fenway for a second - two men hit in the head by suspect who allegedly was first spraying people in the Pilgrim Parking Lot with a fire extinguisher? You betcha. Two teenage girls arrested at the Broadway T-Stop after robbing two females at knifepoint? Par for the course.

Have a look at this fun and wonderful tool, which is constantly updated by an RSS feed, and see what other crimes against Massachusetts humanity you can find. Feel free to post them here, and I really shouldn't be this amused. On a related note, the worst/best joke from post-play-practice-pints (or club sodas as the case may be) last night:

- "The grappa they serve at the Waterfront is terrible."
- "Yeah, I heard that's what they used to set the homeless guy on fire."

Wednesday Wadio: The Gorillaz 'DARE'.

"'DARE' is a staple song used by several car audio enthusiasts to test their sound system's performance, as it contains both human voice, plenty of treble and a very strong bassline." - Wiki

Granted, I am WAY behind the bell curve on writing about this song - but I love it, I love the 2 legendary bands whose former members are involved with it and we just mentioned 'Dare' as part of the gym mix post from yesterday. I built a Happy Mondays related site recently, and in the process read a few articles surrounding how the song came to be. It's interesting stuff. I'll elaborate.

Damon Albarn, formerly of Blur and the current mastermind behind the Gorillaz, had always wanted to work with Shaun Ryder. The only problem is, Shaun Ryder has been a drug-addled mess for the last 20 years, and getting him involved in a project is tantamount to slamming your dink in a door. Don't get me wrong - I love the man's work. The Mondays and Black Grape are two of my favorite audio guilty pleasures. But he likes the hallucinogens and has been in some trouble as of late.

"Shaun Ryder... threatens another Lazarus style comeback with his best contribution to a record for well over a decade. It's his Manc whine that steals the show and makes Dare and so enthralling, he might have his debts paid off in ten years if he keeps this sort of performance up." - Beat Surrender



The song is hella fawnky, with great spooky sound effects, a catchy chorus and an interesting vocal alternation between Ryder's marble mouth, Albarn's falsetto and the Gorillaz only female member, Noodles. The video features Ryder's disembodied cyborg headed singing away just as soon as the Gorillaz release him from his closet.

Ian Brown, a proper media shit-disturber who also incidentally happened to be the lead singer of The Stone Roses, recently claimed that the song was originally supposed to be called 'There' - But Ryder had a little trouble enunciatingg that very tricky word. Brown smirks, "They were going to call it, 'It's There' but Shaun couldn't say 'there', so they called it Dare. I know the guy who was the recording engineer on it and he was like, 'One, two, three, four...' and it took Shaun five hours to come in." DARE to keep Shaun off Drugs.

The video is equal parts disturbing and brilliant, and the song is just brilliant. Watch the full clip here, or listen to the song by clicking Radio Pye in the left hand column.

The Distant Call Of The Hamster Wheel.

When I started my current job in 2003, I was pleased to learn that I'd have access to the office building's gym. And access it I did. In fact, I accessed the frig out of it - I got down to about 210 pounds at one point, and was looking pretty twatting svelt if I do say so myself. I like going to the gym. Once it's in your routine, it's easy to make time for and you even miss it when time does not allow. But it is so, so easy to fall out of step. And oh how the svelt have fallen.

With a little effort, my body gains and drops weight like Barbapapa in a trailer park meth lab. A lot of my friends have started back after long hiatuses - even DVS has been going daily - so I think it's high time I joined the let's-get-physical-fray. I went down to City Sports at lunch, got me some socks, a cool Under Armor water bottle, a pair of lacrosse shorts and tonight will be spent creating an audio steriod mix. During my last gym phase, I had a crappy 20 song 128MB MP3 player. I had to choose my workout tunes very carefully, lest I go crazy listening to the same songs for a week on end. Now I have a 60GB iPod, so I'm going to compile the biggest, rockingest gym mix derived from all iron pumping playlists of the past.

With no further adue, I will now share my top ten favorite gym mix songs of all time. There's not a lot of rhyme or reason here, and it has nothing to do with BPM. These are simply songs that get me fired-up for whatever reason. I'm not going to write them all up, as I do actually need to actually get to the gym this evening.

1. Where the Rose is Sown - Big Country
2. Humbolt County Massacre - Frank Black
3. There Goes the Fear - The Doves
4. 100 Miles and Running - N.W.A.
5. Acquiesce - Oasis
6. You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar But I Feel Like a Millionaire - Queens of the Stone Age
7. Springtime in Vienna - The Tragically Hip
8. House of Pain - Van Halen
9. The Queen is Dead - The Smiths
10. Irish Pride - House of Pain

A lot of houses, and a lot of pain, I just noticed. But then, isn't that what a gym is? Regardless, if you wish to know more about any of these songs or artists, Google them or simply trust your friend. Your big, fired-up, sweaty, dry-heaving, dead-on-an-elliptical Canadian friend.

Monday's Quotelet: Granger Things Have Happened.

Emma Watson on the set of next year's blockbuster: Harry Potter and the Chalice of the Vanishing Hymen.

George Clooney Is Not Cary Grant.

The George Clooney kudos crescendo is caving my head in. 10 years ago he was a regular on Roseanne, lest we forget. Jake Gyllenhal had to play tongue-hockey with another stinky man repeatedly for his nomination, and what did he get? Sure, Clooney had his fingernails pulled out with pliers, but I actually really enjoyed that scene. Most folks probably cringed watching the torture, but I stood up on a chair and cheered: "That's for Return of the Killer Tomatoes, ya bastard." And quite possibly for this.

"Actually, it would probably be easier if I just said 'Anyone who wasn't in Crash please stand up'." - Jon Stewart

I wanted Munich to win, because it actually deserved to, but had no pipe dreams about that happening. I cashed in my chips and went downstairs to watch Life on Mars long before the Oscars had ended. I fully expected to see Brokeback on the front page of CNN this morning, so imagine my surprise. Crash is an OK movie, but I think the Academy really lost the PC plot this year. If you're on the fence about that last statement, you need only be reminded of Stewart's most prolific joke of the evening:

"Once again, for those of you who are keeping score: Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars. Three-Six-Mafia, one."

Alright, So I Might Have Lied.

Yes, it's another Squidoo-related post. Some fellow lensmasters and I are starting our own related site called SquidooItYourself. I launched it today, and want to get it spidered... So here we are.

I honestly believe that Squidoo is going to be enormous, in case you haven't noticed. This site will be an objective 3rd party source of external news and tips, and it's the first of its kind. If you think I'm crazy, you might not get a ride on my cigarrette boat in 2 years. So just watch it, buddy.

Friday's Quizzlet: Meming Out Justice.

Kids, you've heard me talk about memes a time or two. Friday's Quizzlet is a meme I get from an external source and I use it as a catalyst for material on dreary Friday mornings. I grow tired of it from time to time, and would also like to foster a little reader participation this week - so I'm going with more of a bullet-point quiz that I hope you'll enjoy and take for a spin yourself. I stole it from The Duck, and God only knows where she dug it up.

What is your name?: They call me Pye.
What is your astrological sign?: Sagittarius
What time did you get up this morning?: 9:00 am.
Favorite toothpaste: Some sort of Crest. I'm in and out of CVS in a flash.
Oprah or Dr. Phil?: Heterosexual.
What was your prom theme?: I have no idea. But based on all recollection, probably something from Ritual de lo Habitual.
3 Favorite Movies to Watch Hungover: Whatever's playing on TV in the Emergency Room at MGH.
Wax, pluck or shave: I pluck my eyebrows in the middle a wee bit and do a little 'dirty lawn' maintenance.
If free plastic surgery existed, what would you consider?: Contrary to what you read on here sometimes - I'm quite fond of myself. Nothing.
How do you take your coffee?: Cream and sugar if I'm out, black at home.
Favorite song in 6th Grade?: Pale Shelter by Tears for Fears.
Name Three Guilty Pleasures: The only question I've had trouble answering. I feel guilty enough about beer sometimes for all 3 spots. Sorry, Walla.
Who would you cast as you in the film adaptation of your life?: Vaughn, Fraser or Livingston - in that order.
If you could choose it, your last meal would consist of: Greek food, but I'd have no idea it was my last. As long as I stay out of the drug trade, I won't.
Age you lost your virginity: TMI. Far too young.
Is there any accessory you wear every day?: My Bruins charity bracelet.
Favorite Vacation Ever: South Africa for scenery, Australia for fun.
Current Celebrity Crush: Rachel Weisz.
Favorite Book as a Child: John Christopher's Tripod series. Now that I'm older and I know better, I liked it more when it was called War of the Worlds.
Where Were You on Your 21st Birthday?: The Brass Taps in Guelph. I'd been of age for 2 years. Big whoop. Here's an actual photo from that night.
Side, stomach or back?: All three, repeatedly, incessantly, please crush up some Ambien so I can snort it immediately.
Your Most Overused Phrase or Word: 'Comprehensively.' At work. At home, it's 'Nate, lower your voice, it's only basketball'.

Congratulations Meredith & Seamus!

I just got a crazy little text message from Hartford to tell me the great news! Seamus and Meredith are engaged, and licensed event halls everywhere are lining up to bid on the reception. Way to go guys - here's to a great life together.

Continuing My Run Of Rampant Thespianism.

Tonight we moved our rehearsals from the relative comfort of the Nazarro Center, to the centuries old (it seems) Knights of Columbus hall about a block away. I first went there on Saturday to help build and paint the set, and I did some exploring. It's a fascinating place - decrepit in parts, charming in others. I've never seen the ground floor, as there are usually card games going on in there, but have been all over the other 3 levels. The set is on the second floor, which is basically a huge dance floor/auditorium/bar. You can hear 100 years of weddings, confirmations, parties and general Italian drama echoing through the old place. There is so much old, creepy furniture and junk in there, it's like stepping back in time. There are staircases blocked by trash, piles of ceiling plaster in random places, toilets that look like they were built for hobbits... it's a dilapidated trip.

I decided to try and find some info about the building, it's history, the society - but didn't get very far. There are similar halls all over the place - Charlestown, North Andover... and I found locations in Canada. It's obviously a fraternal organization with strong community ties, and apparently their bankroll is quite impressive. I do have to mention that areas of the North End location appear to be under construction. And I hope they return it to it's formal glory soon. A very cool old spot, indeed.

"The Order has been called "the strong right arm of the Church," and has been praised by popes, presidents and other world leaders, for support of the Church, programs of evangelization and Catholic education, civic involvement and aid to those in need."

Here is a photo of Ellie and Bianca firing down some cast pizza from the Pushcart. We're up to 2 rehearsals a week now averaging 5-6 hours. Everyone involved runs there right from work, and it's a real labor of love considering everyone's schedules. I've blurred their faces because if there's one thing I've learned about women in the last 32 years (and I haven't learned much) it's that they don't like to be photographed eating. If you want to meet them, you'll just have to come to one of the performances.



The play is fast approaching. I got a copy of the poster, with my name emblazoned across the bottom, last night from the show's producer. I will scan it over the weekend and post it here. It's very well done. I've also tried to arrange some playbill sponsorship with friends who work at local restaurants, so I'm doing my part. But now I need to help sell some tickets. Here is a photo of last night's very chilly practice. I say very chilly of course because there's no damn heat in the aforementioned charming mess. I was tempted to go up to the attic and start hunting replicants.



A lot of you have expressed interest in coming to see the show. Here are some details I posted previously, and again all proceeds go to NEMPAC. I am going to list the show dates and times below, and I would appreciate it if you could email me if you'll be coming. I'll buy the tickets myself and get money from you on the days - $10 each. We'll take further details offline. Again, if you want to come, pick a night and email me. Very fricking' soon. The clock is ticking. Don't call me about it, don't put it off until tomorrow.

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark @ The Improv Asylum Showtimes:

1. Sunday, March 19th 2:00 pm
2. Sunday, March 19th 7:00 pm
3. Monday, March 20th, 7:00 pm
4. Monday, March 20th, 9:30 pm
5. Tuesday, March 21, 7:00 pm - followed by the cast party TBD.

So there you have it - come have a laugh with us and support a great neighborhood cause. See your old buddy Dave bumbling around in a silly police uniform, uttering such classic lines as "Get him!" In all seriousness, it's been a lot of fun so far and everyone involved is a new friend. If you've ever so much as stumbled to Bova's at 4 am for a botulism calzone, it's time to give back to the neighborhood. Email me. And to my castmates who have told me they now read this site - Barney the dog is back at home and OK! Congrats to Sean and Audra.

New Pornographers/Belle & Sebastian @ Avalon, Boston.

At one point during the concert tonight, I turned to the group of friends and siblings I was with and made the uproariously hilarious remark: "Hi, I'm the Boston Fire Inspector. Thanks a lot for not inviting me?" The February 28th Belle and Sebastian show at Avalon in Boston (just a pause for the search engines here, folks) was grossly oversold, and I'd like to sarcastically thank the powers that be for jamming us in there like branded cattle. I've seen about 800 shows there since 1988 - including packed houses like Coldplay and the Pixies, and I've never been welfarically uncomfortable before. I could actually see the panic attacks taking place on the faces of the people around me. Especially when New Pornographers covered "Once Bitten, Twice Shy". All horribly tasteless jokes aside, that was a real pain in the ass you money grubbing Landsdowne fucks.



The NP's were great, and I'm adding their new song Bones of an Idol to the Wadio right now so have a listen on your left. I've spun it 8 times already today - it's awesome. They're from Vancouver, and have developed a huge ex-pat following a la the Hip here in Boston. I saw tons of Maple Leafs being rocked on hats, scarves and jackets last night. They use two keyboards, a mouth organ and male/female vocal mix that's about 50/50. A pulsing, unique sound that I'm going to be delving into deeply over the next few weeks. Super band.



Belle and Sebastian sounded amazing, despite the fact we eventually retreated to one of Avalon's back corners when the crowds began to surge forward. One thing about hipster crowds - they don't brush their teeth and fart uncontrollably. I have to chalk it up to all the cheap food available in Davis square, or the fact that sometimes they're forced to eat Decemberist records when their student loans run out. Either way, it was like a focus group for Crest and Gas-X and I gladly hid in the back, hence my completely awful pictures. Not to mention I was asked to stop taking photos by a 4-foot tall bouncer who also smelt like he'd been eating aquarium scum.



I thoroughly enjoyed Stuart's silly dancing, and the horns sounded perfect. Judy and the Dream of Horses and Seeing Other People were the highlights for me, although Stu forgot the first verse of the latter. These guys are a tight, tight outfit. The tour has just started, and here's a list of the dates lest you wish to venture out. Just remember to wear fire retardent clothing and to spread Vaporub under your nostrils like Clarice Starling.