Elmar Weisser smiles after simultaneously winning “Best Beard” and “Worst Smelling Beard” at the Beards and Moustaches World Championship in Trondheim.
“Don’t get me wrong – we’re thrilled. Just surprised. You do realize Justin Bieber’s not actually in Arcade Fire, right?”
Last night’s Superbowl halftime show left me speechless. Springsteen, McCartney, U2 – these are SB calibre performers. Whomever “booked the ‘Peas” should be looking for work today. I’m pretty sure that’s probably the exact phrase they use when describing it to their friends, too. I’m so beside myself I’m going to give y’all a little something to get started with and then let you run wild:
Not the biggest sports fan ever to grace a halftime stage, Fergie was asked why she brought a catcher’s mitt to a predominantly football-related event…
…and then you can insert your very own “plastic surgery” or “weathered vagina” joke. Today I’m just here to inspire.
Unluckily for Sarah and Little Matt, Gacy had just popped over to the mall for some more duct tape.
Not to be outdone by KFC’s “Double-Down” sandwich, Popeye’s was quick to unveil it’s brand-new “Quadrouple-Down” family fun bucket.
Michael Sorrentino’s latest deal with MTV has been slightly overshadowed by that pesky contract he signed with Beelzebub in 2009.
“You do realize that when I said I’d happily eat seafood out of the gulf I was only referring to that one untouched patch over there, yes?”
Hip hop’s undeniable cross-culture influence was upgraded to “cross-species” Friday when Renya the female jaguar was given gold fronts.
Me and Matt Carkner of the Ottawa Senators. I don’t have a joke for this – just wanted to brag. See our exclusive interview with Carkner over at GoonBlog.com
Although David Caruso backed out of the Superbowl halftime show at the last minute – Pete Townsend was still happy to sport the famous shades for him.
“It comes with 16 GB for $499. No, 3G is $130 extra. Yes, I know it’s on the large size and doesn’t do anything the iTouch can’t. Who the fuck let me walk out here thinking this was a good idea? You know I’m on a shitload of meds.”
At least Filipino presidential candidate Rigoberto Madera – a.k.a "Star General Ace Diamond, Commander-in-Chief on Earth” – was once a Mayor.
Michael J. Fox arrives at last month’s Emmys looking… absolutely fantastic. I can’t even make a joke, here. You’re one tough cookie, Mike.
Next year MTV promises to add a new category to their Music Awards show – One for Unbelievable Douchebaggery.
A wire-haired dachshund from Long Island, NY recognized as the world’s oldest dog, died Friday at 147 dog years – presumably while trying to escape from Long Island.