Monday’s Quotelet

Activists spread dirt on their faces during a swine flu awarness campaign in Jakarta. In an ironic twist of fate, it was later learned that spreading dirt on your face is the number one cause of the disease.

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“Sure, ladies – we serve your kind here. Just as long as this doesn’t turn into an antler-fest.”

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Li Guoxing – recipient of the world’s first “face-transplant” after being mauled by a bear – has died. This highlights anew the dangers associated with the procedure. And going to the zoo when intoxicated.

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Elisha’s oversized sunglasses and turban made a positive I.D impossible, but Sean was pretty sure who was behind the sign at center ice.

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Made it to Boston in 7.5 hours on Sunday afternoon – a new record for me. My secret? Keep yourself dehydrated so you need less wee breaks, use cruise control as it dramatically decreases the amount og gas the car will use and go 10 miles above the limit for which you’ll rarely be pulled over.

Tonight is the kid-friendly puppy birthday party at Janet’s in Charlestown and Wednesday night is the big bender in Concord with the high school friends – in many ways my favorite night of the year. My point is, blogging might be light this week but I had to take time out and put this up. I think we can have a lot of fun with it.

Care to take your own stab at a Horatio-Lib? 1a (the setup) 1b (Horatio #1) 2 (Horatio #2) 3 (Horatio #3) 4 (YEEAAAAAHH!). Make sense? Here’s my first stab at this wonderful new productivity-sucker:

1a: Sir, all the fingers on his right hand were removed. We located them in his… rectum.
1b: Well, you know what Confuscious said…
2: He who go to bed with itchy bum…
3: Wake up with smelly finger.
4: YEEAAAAAHH!

Not my best work. I’ll try again later. I’ll turn the best submissions into graphics and maybe create an ongoing Horatio Libs gallery. Thanks to Gary for sending this my way, and to those of you I will see in the Boston area this week – looking forward to it. Happy holidays!

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After being selected as the new First Dog, “Baby” immediately set about bringing change to several shrubs on the front lawn.

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As Ike’s raging waters receded, the mystery surrounding the disappearence of Nemo’s cousins was solved.

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Appetizer: If you could live on another continent for 1 year, which one would you choose?
I am a “North American” in the truest sense anybody can be, as I am now unofficially a dual citizen. I love both countries, and would gladly bear arms on either of their behalfs because I am not a liberal, but the one other country I would (and already have) live in for a year is England. I love the music, movies, comedy, authors and pop culture in general of Old Blighty and have since I was a kid.

Soup: Which browser do you use to surf the Internet?
FireFox, 100%. I love the plugins, particularly AdSense Reader, GMail and GReader Notifier and “Copy as Plain Text”. The only exception is that I have to use IE for Quickbooks, and there’s even an FF plugin that allows you to assign specific sites to open only in IE and it does so in what looks exactly like just another FireFox tab. I suppose I should link to all of these for you, but you’ve got Google on your side, kids. I have work to do.

Salad: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you know about the history of your country?
A lot – I took several American history classes in high school in Massachusetts – a great place to be studying U.S. history because it has seen a whackload. I also had to brush up bigtime back in November prior to my citizenship test. As far as Canada goes I have been given (thanks Kate) and purchased an impressive stack of history books as I absolutely love the subject and obviously wasn’t here for the rudimentary Canuckian high school classes. The story of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and also text that challenge the myth, have been especially fascinating for me thus far. I went to a party in Ottawa a few weeks ago where the majority of the attendees were government employees spanning a wide range of departments and I asked them slews and slews of history-related questions. Particularly about how the intelligence arm of the RCMP split off into the CSIS in 1984.

Main Course: Finish this sentence: Love is…
Elusive, confusing, insanity-inducing (I speak from experience) – and that’s what makes it simultaneously wonderful and the worst thing in the world.

Dessert: Have you ever been in or near a tornado?
I’ve been in vicinities that have been warned several times but I’ve never been in actual danger or seen a tornado with my own eyes. The best story I can tell you is that of “Lost Lake” here on the Big Rideau. It’s not actually lost, nor is it a lake, nor is the area officially called “Lost Lake”. It’s spoken lake lore more than anything at this point. It’s a hard to find little inlet that was hit with a tornado back in the 70s. A woman was killed while sleeping in her houseboat, and you can still see enormous scars in the foliage where the twister twisted on through. I can find no mention of it online so I’ll take some photos the next time I sail past (the boat goes in the water tomorrow morning!) and get some more oral history from my neighbors. I hope to also get some serious sun, as my farmer’s tan is ridiculous and my arms look like candy corn.

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Appetizer: When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
Of course I do – I believe the English word for anyone who wouldn’t is “prick”. When I get a smile from a complete stranger it brightens my day. Especially when I’m not in a holding cell.

Soup: Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
Good heavens, we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel today, quizzlet. All of the flooring in the lake house is lovely hardwood. It was lovely, anyway. Puppy claws and puppy pee has wreaked a little bit of havoc. My desk chair has also dulled the finish in my room. But I guess some wear and tear is to be expected when you live in the middle of a three-ring circus.

Salad: Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
Death and violence in Darfur.

Main Course: Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
One of my best friends was adopted and his home life seemed normal by most standards. On Pluto. And the children that Brad and Angelina have adopted, who by now I think could qualify as a municipal township, seem happy enough. I’d rather have my own children, but would certainly adopt as a last resort. I think the children who grow up to have healthy, happy lives as the result of adoptive parents far outnumber the horror stories we hear.

Dessert: Name 2 blue things.
The lake I am currently looking at. It’s beautiful and we’re putting the dock in tomorrow, so boating season will officially begin very soon. My skin after the dock is in and I emerge from said lake. Good God in Heaven, that is going to be a cold dip. But the boating must commence! Wish me luck.

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