From the category archives:

Television

Losing Your Boner

by Dave on February 23, 2010

in Television

Andrew Koenig I’m going to employ one more play on words and then I’m done. Gee, Valentine’s Day sure is an tragic time to misplace your boner. That’s what Chekov’s been thinking, anyway. I’ll explain. Walter Koenig, of Star Trek, has a son. He is none other than Andrew Koenig, a.k.a. “Boner” from Growing Pains – he is missing and has been since Valentine’s Day. Due to him refusing work, being depressed and selling belongings prior to his disappearance his friends and family are fearing the worst. Has Boner shuffled off this mortal coil?

“Don’t you ever think that getting by is getting old?” – Not sure what that means, but I’m sure it’s pretty deep, whoah.

andrew-koenig It’s not just crewmembers of the Starship Enterprise concerned for Andrew’s safety. He’s apparently quite well-liked in comedy circles and everyone from Sarah Silverman to Doug Stanhope have been Twittering away in the hopes of finding him.

The last tangible clue police have is that his cell phone received a text message in the middle of Stanley Park in Vancouver two days after he was last seen, and he never made it back to his home in California. Something unfortunate is afoot, and I hope Richard Stabone’s mortal vessel is found safe and sound. A great character from the canon of 80’s sitcoms, and apparently a decent guy to boot.

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Florence and the Machine's Lovely Bottom As the credits rolled and the highlight reel spun at the conclusion of Friday’s 10th and final series of the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother, a song which played overtop really, really caught my attention. After some research that song turned out to be Florence + the Machine’s You’ve got the Love, as I’m sure you’ve already surmised. I have enjoyed BB and CBB (The Davina McCall created Channel 4 versions only) for at least half of the decade during which they’ve helped define British television and the moment was a sad one for me. Perhaps that’s why I was susceptible to this particular ditty, but susceptible I was. Nearly a week later I am still so enamoured that, in the first instalment of Wadio since early August, I’d like to share.

A quick note to my readers who don’t usually share my taste in music – do yourself a favor and watch the video anyway, as Florence has a truly breathtaking hiney. If spectacular buttocks are what it takes to convert a new F+TM fan, then so be it. She put them on full display for a reason.

Florence has the love. And a legendary rump.

“I want my music to sound like throwing yourself out of a tree, or off a tall building, or as if you’re being sucked down into the ocean and you can’t breathe,” – Florence Welch.

florence-youve-got-the-love-ass-video-bum Florence says she writes her best music when drunk or hungover because that’s when she finds herself “most lucid”. As she’s from South London, I’m sure there were lots of opportunities to be lucid whilst growing up. The “+ the Machine” half of her stage name stems from the fact she’s backed by a revolving door of musicians and DJs, the focus remaining on her alone. Likely as a result the music press frequently compare her to Kate Bush. Regardless of how she got here, Miss Welch is making a huge dent on the music scene and I’m glad I finally noticed the bandwagon careening past. Did I mention how absolutely enraptured I am with her hindquarters?

There’s also a great “Live from Ibiza” version fans of the song should check out. Her stage presence is impressive. As this year’s 3rd place CBB winner, the almighty Vinnie Jones, was prone to say in the house: “It’s been emotional”. So, yeah, my initial reaction to the tune was inspired by a bit of sad melancholy – but the song fits the mood. Praise and thanks be to Davina and Florence.

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Kenny Wasn’t Like The Other Kids. TV Mattered, Nothing Else Did.
Girls Said Yes But He Said No. Now He’s Got His Own Game Show.
Remote Control!
And Now It’s His Basement, His Rules, His Game Show.
The Quizmaster Of 72 Whooping Cough Lane – Ken Ober!

The summer of 1988 was a tough one for your old friend, Dave. Being 13 years old is all kinds of awkward all by itself, but I had just moved to small town U.S.A. from Canada – a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. My social life that summer consisted of a remedial Algebra 1 class at Minuteman Tech and watching MTV for hours on end. There was no such thing as reality television in the late 80s, and with the exception of a handful of game shows they actually played music videos. One of those videos was Never Gonna Give You Up. One of those game shows was Remote Control.

Gettin’ Silly Behind the Scenes of Remote Control

I will always remember Ken Ober and Remote Control fondly because they made me smile during a brief adolescent era when I really needed it. Today I’ll tell you that going to 4 different high schools is character-building, but at the time I wanted to swallow antifreeze and follow Heather O’Rourke into the sweet hereafter, literally. Pre-SNL wiseacres Colin Quinn and Adam Sandler helped make up the cast of hilarious recurring characters and the whole mess was held together by Ober’s quick-off-the-draw and bone dry humor at the podium as the show’s seemingly reluctant host.

“Ken Ober was one of the sharpest, quickest, sweetest guys I ever met. He was always a great friend and I will miss him very much.” - Adam Sandler

ken-ober-dies

“Kenny Ober was and always will be the quickest wit in the room. As the star and host of Remote Control, he was a welcoming ringmaster who helped to kickstart the careers of numerous talents, including Adam Sandler, Colin Quinn and myself. He will be remembered always by each of his friends not only for his massive talent but for his true, deep and enduring friendship.” – Dennis Leary

Ken’s post-MTV production career has already been well-documented in various pop obituaries. Most notable was his work on one of my all time favorites, Tough Crowd. He was a long time friend and collaborator of Mr. Quinn’s, and Colin must be having a very bad day today. And that was just written by someone whose molar just split in two. Ober also had film roles in a forgettable Lethal Weapon spoof (although next to today’s send-ups like Disaster Movie it comes off like Gone With the Wind) and the forever-awesome Who’s the Man?

The official word right now is “found dead in his home at age 52,” and I sincerely hope the words “overdose” and “suicide” don’t make their way into the details over the next few days. After looking at the profile photo on his now lifeless Facebook account, however, my hopes are fading fast. Thanks for the laughs, Ken. You’ll be remembered beyond the reruns.

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As an admitted anglophile – someone who likes all things British and definitely not someone who hangs around near Saxon playgrounds – I have always been a fan of the wonderful show, Dragon’s Den. Fledgling entreprenuers climb a flight of stairs into the vertitable den – coming face to face with the dragons who are 5 accomplished, and very wealthy, businesspeople looking to invest money in new ideas, start-ups, inventions, etc. They either love the idea and compete to outbid their peers (“I’ll give you 100,000 pounds for 35% of the company.”) or tear the hopeful pitchers to shreds (“You’ve got a better chance of seeing a one-legged cat bury a turd on a frozen pond”. Here is an especially humorous clip from the original British version to give you a better idea. A very creative pitch goes a bit awry…

Canada’s CBC launched their own version of Dragon’s Den 3 years ago and my old friend Gary wrote to tell me he auditioned for the latest season this week in Hamilton, Ontario. I was suitably impressed and also glad to hear that apparently the day went very well for him. Looks like there’s a very good chance he’ll make it to the den – and if not, good on ‘im for trying. You can see him giving a mini-pitch to a camera here – he is second in the montage. It’s worth a look to see his futuristic soul patch alone.

Gary’s company, ePixome.com, has actually been quite successful and he’s been slugging away at it for the best part of a decade. I may make fun of his facial hair from time to time (and head hair for that matter), but he went from over $60K in debt to profitability after landing contracts with a variety of NBA teams. So what does his digital media marketing company do, exactly? It’s very cool – he allows sponsors to brand digital photos that his team take of fans at sporting events, concerts, etc. Everyone who is in one of the free photos is given a card with a serial number on it which can be entered at the website for access to the photo. It’s proven popular to date and Gary’s plans now include his new site, Fanaticam.com which brings videos from events under a more targeted digital media sports marketing model. Frankly, I like his chances. Mainly because they don’t use real dragons.

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…And I’m Out Like Swayze

by Dave on January 9, 2009

in Television

swayze-the-beastPatrick – Pye in the Face is pulling for you. Looking forward to the premiere of The Beast on January 14th, and I sincerely hope it doesn’t end up being your swan song. Pneumonia and cancer, however, do not tend to mix well. My thoughts are with you, Road House Curse be dammned.

Beast executive producer John Romano added that Swayze gives the show 100 percent. “He’s bringing the force of his own personal struggle into the performance,” he said. “He does it five days a week, 12 hours a day.”

Patrick fans, early reports lead me to believe that his new show might be something very special. Tune in to A&E this Thursday when we all get to see for ourselves. Hang in there, sir.

In a cruel twist of timing last year, Swayze learned of his diagnosis four hours after The Beast had been picked up for a full 13-episode season. Despite Swayze’s condition, A&E stuck to its commitment, in large part because Swayze was so keen on continuing. Swayze subsequently missed only one day of work during the first season of The Beast, which was shot in Chicago and completed last November.

The man is truly as tough as Dalton.

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Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys

by Dave on December 11, 2008

in Television

There are no words. I will let Clattenburg do the talking and ruminate further in a future post.

“Over the past few months there has been a lot of discussion among our fans and those in the media about the future of Trailer Park Boys. Will there be another season, another special, another movie? The last thing we want to do is keep our loyal fans in the dark about the show we have all loved doing for the past eight years, so we’d like now to shed some light.

We have a final one hour television special, Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys, which goes to air on Showcase on Sunday, December 7, 2008. Then after that, our sequel movie, Countdown To Liquor Day (working title), is due to be released in Canadian theatres in October, 2009.

But, after that, there will be no more. Yes, it’s the end of Trailer Park Boys. Our fans have been so supportive and inspiring that we wanted you to be the first to know. Much love and thanks from all of us at Sunnyvale Trailer Park.”


“I love all creatures. Like gophers and deerts, and all those flying things and everything else – but seagulls i got no time for those cocksuckers.”

It’s going to be tough going without you boys, but I’ll manage. Somehow, I’ll have to manage. Raising a glass of Jiffy Wine to you, sirs.

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“I’m just terrified to get up on a stage with them all again… because no one has ever tested me like they did. You always had to be at the top of your game.” – Martin Short in the Toronto Star

benefit-of-laughterFirst and foremost, I’d have to be a complete and utter jackass to presume I could effectively “review” an event of this magnitude, so please consider it a… loving memoir. A week ago tonight I had the severe pleasure of attending SCTV’s Benefit of Laughter, which was a charity event held to raise money for the Second City alumni fund. To say it was a hot ticket would be the biggest understatement of the 24 years since the beloved station stopped broadcasting in 1984. For two side-splitting performances SCTV was definitely back on the air – onstage in a small theatre in Toronto – and it was a wonderful sight to behold.

I let a week pass before sitting down to write about the night because I wanted to be able to consider, share and link to what other bloggers and the media wrote about the events. Surprisingly there is very little mention of the actual performances online – nothing, actually – and my site is getting the bulk of the related search engine traffic. I’d be writing the show up regardless, but now I feel obligated. So wish me luck, grab your Count Floyd 3D glasses and hang on to your toques.

An SCTV Reunion? Don’t Play With my Emotions Like That.
The Toronto Star interviewed all of the SCTV principals just before the two shows last week in what is probably the best pre-event article you’ll find. Catherine O’Hara (excited), Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin (scared), Joe Flaherty (sorta looking forward to it) and Martin Short were all obviously more than happy to perform together again and to raise money for their Second City peers. The Star did a wonderful job of ramping up to the event, so please read their piece for the full story.

I already mentioned a lot of the background and how my sister and I came to be VIPs for the event in a prior SCTV Reunion post. I’d love to be able to report that I’ve become Catherine O’Hara’s cabana boy, but alas – we paid our way in and sprung for the top tier tickies. I knew it was a great cause and once in a lifetime experience going into it, but after being there – I think I would have paid far more. Perhaps even hocked my Five Neat Guys LP collection. It was good.

Goin’ Down the Road
sctv-castAlthough we originally drove from Ottawa for the event, my sister and I spent Sunday night at our cousin’s in Hamilton. We struck out for Toronto at around 5:30pm on Monday figuring 2.5 hours would be more than enough time to get into the city, drop my car off at a friend’s and then get a cab over to Second City. Toronto traffic, a bastard of a GPS system and one insane cab driver on mentholated schnapps later we were 10 minutes late for the show and just closing in on the location. May I suggest to Second City that in the future they print their address on tickets? Schnapps isn’t particularly good for one’s sense of direction. I’ll give them this, though – they actually called my sister’s cell phone to find out where we were and to make sure we knew how to get there. I know there was a long waiting list, so I’d like to thank them for taking that extra step and not giving our seats away.

We finally got there, were asked by the doorman if we were the “last two everyone is waiting for”, and were shown to our great seats just as the first sketch was starting. We were at a small table in the middle with a lovely couple who eventually introduced themselves as the director and his wife. Thank you for the nachos and Brian – well done, sir! He let on that he was a little nervous about how the show would play out and said that the cast had only one evening and one full day to rehearse and prepare. Since the show was over two hours long I can understand his concern. I noticed that the hysterical laughter surrounding him on all sides definitely had a calming effect. After the show, his super-friendly and lovely wife (whose name escapes me) told me that she mentioned to Eugene Levy and Martin Short that the people they were sitting with had come from Ottawa and they were quite impressed. And by “impressed” I of course mean “ready to file restraining orders”.

Let There be Laughter
How on Earth do I do justice to the actual show? I didn’t take notes – I thought some other blogger who was a bigger SCTV nerd than myself (it happens,) would cover all of the painstaking details. But they haven’t and all I hear are internet crickets. I’ll summarize my favorite sketches and anyone looking for more info or explication is free to leave comments or send me an email which I promise I’ll answer. Please limit your inquiries to the SCTV reunion, and not as to whether I’m a complete waste of space with a drinking problem.

  • Meeting With the Teacher: Catherine O’Hara played an overwhelmed school teacher in the opening sketch who had called together the parents of her 4 worst students. The reasons behind the children’s struggles soon became very apparent. Edith Prickley, a grumpy Italian (Flaherty) a nerd (Levy) and a creepy dude reminiscent of Nathan Thurm (Short) made up the parents. O’Hara: “Where did your son get such a dirty mouth?” Flaherty: “How the fuck should I know?” Audience: “We are in absolute comedic and nostalgic bliss”. I’m allowed one James Lipton moment, no?
  • mocharie-pyeThe Job Interview: This sketch starts out with the big boss (Levy) introducing himself to a job applicant (O’Hara) and then asking if it’s OK if they have a group interview to save time. He then says that the other applicant will be arriving shortly. At this point, I leaned forward and whispered to my sister “I bet Ed Grimley’s gonna come through that door”, and wouldn’t you know it – he did. I lost it and had my first of many laughing fits complete with streaming tears. And guess who got the job? O’Hara’s parting line to Grimley: “You’ll be in my prayers, sir.”
  • The Variety Show: Although I’m still miffed Count Floyd was absent from the show, if Bittman and Maudlin hadn’t made an appearance I might have gone on a tri-province shooting spree. The first of two references to John Candy was made when Sammy Maudlin mentioned how much he missed having William B. as his sidekick. Bobby Bittman came out to plug his new book “Born Lying Down” and the segment was topped off by a visit from Jackie Rogers Jr. and Lola Heatherton – fresh from being booted off dancing with the stars. They proceeded to demonstrate their final routine as I proceeded to snort Molson Canadian up my nose and then all over my brand new shirt.

This post is getting frighteningly long – those were my 3 favorites, but really just the tip of the iceberg. Colin Mocharie appeared in a sketch at a funeral for a man who died with his head in a can of pork and beans and also did an audience-suggestion improv bit with Martin Short and several members of the current Toronto Second City Cast as well as Women Fully Clothed. Robin Duke stole every scene she was in, by the way, and was very nice to me at the after party when I accosted her while she was getting a coffee. Joe Flaherty made sure everyone remembered John Candy when he mentioned him during the standing ovation and let everyone know just how much he was in their thoughts. “He’s here!” someone shouted from the audience, to which Joe smiled and said simply: “That’s right“.

After the Party Comes the After Party
We never touched our wallets during the entire performance and the after party next door at Wayne Gretzky’s was no exception. Tray after tray of hors d’ourves, wine, bottled water and pints made the rounds. Janet and I grabbed a couple of beverages and began to wander.

ohara-janet

A backdrop had been set up for official photos to be taken, but none of the cast had appeared yet. The photographers, a pair of cool and bald twin brothers, asked us if we wanted a photo and we agreed, knowing full well they just wanted to test their apertures, f-stops and such. We ended up carving out a nice little spot for ourselves right near the impending action though, and even met a nice couple to chat with. It turns out Jack had been to my blog that very day when looking for info about the show. People tend to remember one-syllable last names that are synonymous with a dessert.

short-pye

We weren’t allowed to take photos during the show, but my snaps from the party speak a thousand words, with one exception. My sister’s deceptive flash caused me to turn my head a second too early so Martin Short can now count himself as one of the lucky few to be photographed with the elusive sasquatch. All the cast members were happy to pose and chat with their fans, and the highlight of my life evening was managing to make both Mocharie and Flaherty laugh. Although it may have been nervously. Please enjoy the SCTV Reunion Gallery and I hope you enjoyed my affectionate write up. I’ll never forget the experience and count myself lucky to have been there.

More SCTV Reunion Stuff (as I find it):

  • Interview on CityTV: Andrea Martin says the audience at the first show was like an extended family. Aw, shucks!
  • 680 News Interviews: Audio interviews with several cast members before and after the show.
  • Comics Pay tribute: Several well-known comedians explain why SCTV is so special to them.
  • SCTV Locations: Trevor also attended the show and may be the biggest fan of the show in existence.

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I Can Die Now.

by Dave on May 6, 2008

in Television

The only thing better than meeting Martin Short is having a photo taken with him in which you look like you’ve been struck in the head with a cricket bat that has several bricks nailed to it.

short-pye

I waited 34 years to get a photo with this man, and look at the result. I suppose it’s sorta fitting and funny. As JV put it – Martin short looks like he’s being accosted by a “drunk mountain”. I’ll write a full report on the evening when I get back home tomorrow. Dig on the SCTV Benefit of Laughter Gallery here!

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As my Cadbury Cream Egg hangover slowly wore off this morning I remembered a little news item I’ve been saving for the right moment. Perhaps I’ve just been hesitant as I thought talking about it might jinx this historic and amazing event in some cosmically unfortunate manner. Because it’s literally amazing in a ‘pull your balls out on the subway and sing Happy Days are Here Again’ sort of way. Here’s the rub: My wonderful sister got wind of an SCTV Reunion a couple of weeks ago, and before even telling me about it she’d procured two tickets to the event May 5th at their 51 Mercer Street location in Toronto.

sctv-reunion

“I am thrilled to have this wonderful collection of Second City alums come home and support their colleagues and friends who may be experiencing some difficulties in their life.”Andrew Alexander – Proprietor/Executive Producer

My inside (literally) source, whom I shall refer to as “magic 8 ball”, tells me that the charity event is to help Tony Rosato with his treatment and/or legal bills – it’s no secret that he is currently incarcerated at a mental hospital in Ontario. Although I’m sure he isn’t the only alumnus to fall on hard times, he’s certainly the most well known having been an original member of the SCTV troupe, and he also spent 2 seasons (1980 & 81) on Saturday Night Live as a writer and performer. Here he is performing a skit with Robin Duke in 1979 – who can forget Crazy Crafts with Molly Earl ?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdBec1pYM5k[/youtube]

Tony is and was a very funny man and for a while Lorne Michaels had very high, Belushi-esque, hopes for him. He apparently suffers from Capgras Syndrome which is a delusional belief that a friend or loved one’s body has been taken over by an imposter, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers style. It’s no joke, I wish him all the best and although I’m quite certain there are many who’d be happy to take my place now that the event is sold out – I’m very happy to be able to contribute to his cause. Here’s Tony with Eugene Levy doing Abbott and Costello, also from the early series #3.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JNS19XBjBQ[/youtube]

As if simply being at an SCTV Reunion wasn’t enough, I was further gob smacked to learn that my dear old Sis sprung for the top tier tickets which get us into a private cocktail reception with the cast. So we’ll be having drinks and hobnobbing with the likes of Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Joe Flahrety, Dave Thomas, Catherine O’Hara and Andrea Martin. Colin Mochrie will also be performing and I imagine lots of other Canadian Comedians will be on hand to support the cause. Will I finally get to meet Aykroyd? Will Marty do Jackie Rogers Jr. for me? Will I be escorted out while howling loudly like Count Floyd? All signs point to “yes“.

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Appetizer: Given the choice, would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?
The country, as long as there is a city within reasonable driving distance. Here in the sleepy town of Portland I have Ottawa an hour and fifteen minutes to the West and Kingston forty-five minutes to the East. South I have the Big Rideau. North I have Yeti and Sasquatch. As I eluded – I like a mix.

Soup: Who is the cutest kid you know?
I can’t possibly answer this question in public. I know many of cute kids and many of their parents read this blog. Some of them are even related to me. I’ve been looking for an excuse to make a very important announcement, so I guess this is the best chance I’m gonna get. Pay attention: Christopher Walken is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxgkTvZonrE[/youtube]

Only Alec Baldwin is as consistently excellent a guest host. Oh wait, I just checked NBC.com and they’re re-running the Tina Fey episode from last month. Damn – must have been a last minute pull out like when Janet Jackson was replaced by Mariah last week. I’ve been watching all of the current season, as I always do, and let me tell you something. Remember you heard it here first, kids – SNL is funny again. Samberg, Hader and especially Kristen Wiig are pulling the show from the jaws of death. Amy Poehler and Fred Armisen have done their parts too. Last week’s episode which starred Jonah Hill was basically the Kristen Wiig show. She carried no less than 3 solid skits all by herself. In only 2.5 years she has established more recurring characters than most cast members ever manage. My favorite being the Target Lady which you can see above. If I hear one more person say “Well, I hear SNL isn’t funny anymore” who can not go on to name even one of the newer cast members… I will summarily beat them to death with a land shark.

Salad: Fill in the blank: I couldn’t believe it when I heard ___________.
DMX didn’t know who Barack Obama is.

Main Course: If you could star in a commercial for one of your favorite products, which one would you want to advertise?
I gave it some air time in my Greek recipe segment from earlier this week, but I’ve got to give some more props to my T-Fal indoor grill. That’s what I call it anyway. Officially it is known as the Excelio Comfort, and I’m a big fan. I decided to buy it because everytime we want to grill something on the BBQ my father gets involved and it turns into a mess. It’s one of his dementia-related fixations. As you can imagine, we don’t want him playing with fire. This way, we can grill things quietly in the kitchen and he never has to take his eyes off The Quiet Man.

Dessert: What type of vitamins or supplements do you take on a regular basis?
I take Emergen-C every morning. I currently have a box of orange and a box of tangerine which Lauren was nice enough to send me up from Boston for my birthday. It’s the Mom in her, no doubt. It’s tasty, delightfully sparkly and contains all kinds of things I’m not getting from poutine. The first person to ever give me E-C to try was my friend Bridget way back in 1999. You probably remember her as the alarmed and beautiful nutritionist in Super Size Me. What better a person to make the introduction. Although back then I think she was far more concerned about my McBeer intake then anything else.

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Let’s Fire Up the Quattro!

by Dave on March 4, 2008

in Television

New Amsterdam is a direct, and poorly disguised, descendant of my beloved Life on Mars – which the BBC offered to several American networks without takers. I just want to get that down for the record in the midst of an insanely busy day which, coupled with a penchant for buggery, prevents me from writing more.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enn6zc9ug-o[/youtube]

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Appetizer: What is your middle name? Would you change any it if you could?
My middle name is James after my Grandfather Jimmy Smith. Not to be confused with Jimmy Smits who is far too young and hispanic to be my Grandfather. Jimmy Smith was born in Scotland and I spent most of my youth following him around and aping his accent – which probably explains a lot regarding my propencity for mimicry. And scotch.

Soup: If you were a designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you use the most?Gay-Pirate
I am a big fan of forest green, cobalt blue and not being gay. In terms of a style I think I’d be leaning towards metro-sexual pirate. “Avast, me hearties! Can I borrow a flask of rum and two fingers of product fer me fookin’ beard?”

Salad: What is your least favorite chore, and why?
I find that changing bed sheets requires an insane amount of effort. Especially if you use the same set over and over. Or frequently piss the bed. Stripping the mattress is quick enough, washing and drying is fairly automatic. It’s putting the whole thing together that takes the most time. Then you have to pull the bed out from the wall, flip the mattress so you can sleep on the dry side and sprinkle more lime on the dead hooker under the boxspring – it’s quite a chore, to be fair.

Main Course: What is something that frightens you? Can you trace it back to a life event?
Even now I do not like swimming in the ocean. I have never been a big beach person but to actually submerge myself in the open sea is something I might do once a summer. In terms of an determining event I’ll say what everyone else probably does – repeated viewings of Jaws as a child. And the fact that I was drowned as a witch in one of my former lives.

Dessert: Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment.
I am sitting at a makeshift desk in my parent’s trailer. Dad is to my right watching the first season of SNL on DVD (a present from me, obviously). The hockey fights DVD is probably going to be next. I can see the picnic table outside where I plan to sit tonight, have a beer and play LOTRO after the sun sets. That’s wicked nerdy, I know, but I’m on Dad-duty this week and as crazy as it sounds even I can only watch so many Bond films. Finally I see one of the park peacocks strutting around the lake next to our trailer. This is definitely a strange little universe I’ve found myself in that I will try to relay in future posts. Happy Friday, y’all!

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Reality Bites Itself in the Ass

by Dave on November 21, 2007

in Television

I finally got Direct TV… any TV… and the holy grail that is American reality television is once again mine after 7 long months of seclusion. I don’t watch a whole lot of it intently, but I do tend to keep it on during the day while I am working and soak a lot of it up through some sort of crapola osmosis. As you can imagine I have made some observations.

People who write MTV in the hopes of getting their ride pimped seem more interested in possessing a reliable car that doesn’t have to be hotwired or towed on a daily basis than having a tropical fish aquarium with a blacklight mounted in their back seat. It’s all well and good to have 6 high definition flat screens in your hatchback, but they won’t really help you when you when you’re stalled at 3am while a meth addict taps at your windshield with a hook. The guys who soup up these cars are extremely good at painting an intricate spider web on the hood of a car, but I’d rather see them get under it. How about a spinoff starring MC Serch entitled ‘Fix my Transmission’?

There’s Something About Miriam is a tipping point. A frightening one. I think the show was inevitable, it just took reality producers 15 years (the genre was technically born in 1992 with the first episode of The Real World) to find a transsexual that could actually fool anybody. More shows are going to feature shocking twists the contestants didn’t sign on for and more humiliated people are going to sue, kill themselves – and even kill others like the guy who’s best friend came out and professed his love for him on Jenny Jones a few years ago. After they got back to their small town, the crushee whacked the crusher. There’s a difference between introducing a surprise guest and introducing mental anguish – and the backlash is coming.

A PE fan since the day in 1986 when I first heard Rebel Without a Pause pumping out of a boom box at JV basketball practice, I have been glad to see Flava Flav’s fortunes increase via his second wind on Surreal Life, Strange Love, Flava of Love and his Comedy Central roast. Let’s face it, the man has a financial responsibility for every sperm that’s ever swum through his sack. I hear that “My 13 Children and Their 5 Mothers Thank God Everyday for Introducing me to Brigitte Nielsen” is currently in development.

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Four years and a thousand entries ago, I started this blog – knowing full well I probably wouldn’t maintain it but that it would be a learning experience relevant to my line of work. Who knew? I recently added a “On this date three years ago” feature in the sidebar in the hopes of getting a few eyeballs on some of the Pye in the Face canon. But I don’t think that’s really enough – especially where search engines are concerned. So I’m going to take time out now and then to draw attention to past posts I think are pretty cool and that you very likely missed.

Three years ago the thoroughly unique and enjoyable Tough Crowd was canceled by Comedy Central – much to my chagrin. I wrote a bunch of posts on the subject that I know were passed around and read by people involved with the show – including Jim Norton, Laurie Kilmartin, Patrick from Cringe Humor and probably even Colin Quinn himself. If you want to learn why I liked the show so very much, follow some of the Tough Crowd related links you see in this paragraph. That’s the whole point. This is how we play the reminiscelets game. My good friend Brukakke and I drove to New York to see the last Tough Crowd episode taping and even made it onto the show via an audience shot that you can see below. We met a lot of the guys and it was good closure for us. We were probably the equivalent of Tough Crowd superfans.

Tough Crowd Last Episode

Another article I read over recently and got a chuckle out of was in response to a blog entry by Moby right after the 2004 election. Moby was so distraught that George Bush had been re-elected that he was asking Canadians if it was alright if he moved up there. I was only too happy to give him an answer. You won’t often see me talk about politics on PITF, or draw attention to when I’ve done it in the past, so enjoy it while you can.

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Oh What A Whack It Was.

by Dave on June 11, 2007

in Television

There are two camps of Sopranos fans making noise on the internet this morning regarding last night’s series finale. Like Marmite, Ovaltine, sushi or the Scissor Sisters – you either love it or you hate it. I fall into the former category. Although I had an “oh no Chase didn’t” moment when the screen fell quickly to black at the end, after some thought I calmed down. Like Sam Malone straightening the picture of Coach before turning out the lights on Beacon Street for the last time, it couldn’t have been concluded any better.

Carlo flipped, and ultimately even if Mink can win Tony’s case on the handgun charge there are some seriously rough waters ahead. Three of his best Capos are either dead or incapacitated and of the three remaining one is banging his daughter, one is named after Bobby Darin and one is afraid of cats. But there’s a lot of positives when you think about it that may carry the family through to a feature film, or at least comfort the average viewer who is miffed at the lack of tangible resolution.

AJ finally has his head out of his moonbat ass and is working with Carmine Junior on a movie. Meadow is going to be a lawyer at 170K starting salary and seems to have landed a decent guy in Patsy’s son. Christopher has been reincarnated as an orange tabby. Carmela is pressing on with her real estate development and Janice has 3 kids and Johnny Sack’s old house to be nutty in. And Tony – Tony is genuinely happy. Note the scene where he’s raking the leaves and he pauses to contemplate the back yard, probably thinking about his beloved ducks. Or when he grabs AJ’s hand in the diner at the very end. His closure with Junior in the state mental hospital. I think there were a lot of “finale-worthy” moments that the detractors missed.

Back to Junior and Tony’s scene in the ward. “You and my Dad, you used to run North Jersey.” “Did we? That’s nice.” Maybe it’s due to my current personal situation, but that exchange really choked me up. For all their past glory, and all the ‘respect’ they are supposed to command within their universe – at the end of the day it doesn’t amount to a hill of penne, and the mob simply doesn’t work anymore.

So what happened to Tony at the very end? I remember a scene from a few seasons ago where Bobby is intimidating a guy in a bar who owes him money. It’s the first time you ever see Bobby as anything more than Junior’s flunkie and you can trace his transformation from that specific moment like a road map. He tells the guy that when you get whacked, it just goes black suddenly. Much like the end of the diner scene last night. But I don’t think Tony is supposed to have been clipped in Chase’s final bow. No way.

The level of anxiety that was created in the final moment’s of the Soprano’s last episode was incredible. It was right up there with Henry Hill’s sauce and Carlito’s cousin’s beer cooler. Tony scans the room for potential leftover Leotardo interlopers and FBI goons. From the trucker, to the paisan, to the hip-hoppers, to the couple and back to the guy at the counter again. He’s out in public with his family, devoid of any crew and a sitting duck of the highest order – even with his back to the wall. That’s the life he has chosen and how he’ll have to live it long after we don’t get to follow along anymore.

For this long time Baba-Binger, last night was a calculated mix of both closure and speculation. I am glad Tony and his family survived, and I am especially happy that Paulie didn’t defect to New York – but we know that there can never be a happy ending for any of them. Whether we literally see Tony’s brains all over a big bowl of onion rings or are forever left to wonder exactly whatever happened to that Russian in the Pine Barrens.

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