From the category archives:

Thursday Throwback

subway-fart Although I no longer have to ride the “T” (Boston’s subway system) back and forth to work everyday, many mental – and nasal – scars remain. Five years and one month since today’s Throwback was written, on January 20th, 2005, I’m older, wiser and with car. My six plus years of blog posts are strewn with T experiences, but I came across this one today, it made me laugh and I want to share. For those of you still sentenced to the insane daily events on our fair city’s rapid transit system – I apologize if this sounds at all snooty. I did my time, however, and feel like I’ve earned the right to cast scorn down upon those who do unto others with their inconsiderate morning egg farts. You bastards.

Once upon a T, on a particular January morning, there was a “perfect storm” of sorts during my commute. My disgust with fellow riders who felt it perfectly acceptable to bust off in a crowded subway car reached an all time high and I simultaneously witnessed what I thought for a moment might be an escaped Ted Kaczynski. I’ll leave it there and you can have a gander if you so desire. Or maybe just a silly goose.

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meghan-mccain-drunk I’m delving back in time about a year with this pre-election post on why I had serious reservations on what I was fairly sure was the eve of Barack Obama’s election to the Presidency of the United States. I’d sincerely like to open this debate to the general public – especially since I’m rebooting my blogging after the longest hiatus since 2004, and this is just the sort of incendiary topic which attracts eyeballs quicker than Meghan McCain’s sweater gremlins. I have friends on both sides of the aisle, and so far the line-towing opinions I’ve heard over and over run as follows:

The Bible-Toting, Wife-Beating and Racist Rightys

  • “Obama hasn’t done anything he said he would. ‘Change’ my ass.”
  • “The healthcare bill has been a useless, divisive distraction.”
  • “The stimulus package isn’t working. Neither am I, by the way.”
  • “The events of Christmas prove there’s a lack of focus on national security.”
  • “Shhh! They have more than enough rope and are hanging themselves.”
  • “Yes I want to see Avatar but apparently it’s Communist propaganda.”

The Delusional Moonbats of the Looney Left

  • “It will take longer than one year to clean up the mistakes of the last 8.”
  • “The stimulus package is too working.”
  • “They don’t give the Nobel Peace Prize to just anyone.”
  • “I know in my heart he still wants to bring the troops home.”
  • “I always wear tight jeans while I drink my latte. You know this.”

As I said in today’s choice of Thursday Throwback, I want Obama to succeed because his failures are America’s failures and, despite my reservations from 2008, there’d be no “I told you so” joy in that for me. I’d like to add to these two lists of sound bites from comments which people may or may not leave in the comments. So please craft them as such – short and powerful bullet-points.

Pump-Up-The-Volume-harry-hardonAgain, it’s very good to be back. In the words of the immortal Harry Hardon: “Are you out there? You listening?” Sound off. Defend or criticize our 44th president the way in which you’re lucky enough to be able to do in this country. I promise I’ll get back to the dead hooker jokes tomorrow.

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When I re-read posts from the dawn of Pye in the Face, it’s been so long ago now that it feels like someone else wrote them. Especially if I haven’t seen them since the day they were published. Today’s throwback made me laugh out loud. Hard. I had to share.

Gremlins make poor Exorcists. Funny stuff.

Back in 2005 I mused about growing older, bemoaned how long I’d been in the same Boston apartment and started facing the fact that at 31 it was time to grow up. At least a little. My first baby step was to redecorate my bedroom.

Let me just say what you’re all thinking – My bedroom looks like the Chinese curio shop in Gremlins, if it were managed by a 12-year-old homosexual.

tinkerbell-pixie-1 Little did I know at that time the evil set of circumstances which was about to befall my immediate family. Almost five years on from when I first wrote this I now really know what it means to mature. And I suppose everyone’s reasons for eventually doing so differ from person to person. I was forced kicking and screaming into it nearly 20 years after I graduated from high school. You might have felt it hit you the moment you were handed your diploma. You might also be divorced now, never see your kids and work in a miserable middle management job which forces you to consider eating a gun every night by candlelight. So I’m comfortable with my former Peter Pan ways, Tink.

Read my full post about growing up and I hope you get a giggle.

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What I’m glad to be rid of for a few months are the rude, aggressive drunks that plague this city every summer.

On December 14th, 2004, I wrote a heartfelt post about Boston’s homeless. “Heartfelt” is a bit of a stretch, actually. “Evil” would be a far more appropriate word. It seems a tad insensitive in hindsight, but that’s easy to say when you’re as far removed from life in the Hub as I now find myself. When you live downtown your suburban, ‘We are the World’ sensibilities are quickly worn away by endless begging, an omnipotent urine stench and constant verbal abuse from disappointed drunkards. I had a hard time scolding myself when reading this back today and will have to stand by my opinions at the time. Besides, it’s still pretty frickin’ funny.

homeless-guys-dog
“I sure am gonna miss you, Marmaduke, but it’s not every day you find half a bottle of A1 and a rusty hibachi in the same dumpster.”

Was that too much? Perhaps. There’s no denying the fact that Boston has a serious problem for such a small, tourist-friendly city. I’d rather all these folks were fed, warm and employed somewhere, obviously. Until that day I’ll have to continue to never give them money… and eventually die of a head wound from an airborne shopping cart.

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eighties

Pye in the Face turned 5 years old last month and there is a wealth of over 2000 posts from those first 60 months, some of them worthy of a second look, gathering dust. Don’t I sound like the proud papa? I found a plugin that automatically regurgitates old posts at random, but that seemed like cheating. Every Thursday I am going to manually reach back in time, dig in the crates and link you back to one or more posts you may have missed the first time. Or blocked out with the help of a capable therapist.

Our first trip through the Stargate/Pyegate/Nerdgate will revisit one of my most popular posts ever in terms of page views, comments and (to this day) search engine traffic. My best 80’s songs post from October, 2004 saw me thinking long and hard about my 10 very favorite tunes from that ridiculous decade. Upon rereading it, it holds up and I still wouldn’t change a thing.

The coolest incident which resulted from this post was that I was contacted by a member of one of the bands I heralded – namely, Drew Arnott from Strange Advance. He found the article via Google and cleared up some of the facts I’d gotten wrong. Follow the link to read our back and forth.

Step back in time. Get all “Bill & Ted”. Have a look at the list of 80’s tunes which I agonized over for a couple of days and then share your own favorites in the comments.

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