Pye in the Face

There are two camps of Sopranos fans making noise on the internet this morning regarding last night’s series finale. Like Marmite, Ovaltine, sushi or the Scissor Sisters - you either love it or you hate it. I fall into the former category. Although I had an “oh no Chase didn’t” moment when the screen fell quickly to black at the end, after some thought I calmed down. Like Sam Malone straightening the picture of Coach before turning out the lights on Beacon Street for the last time, it couldn’t have been concluded any better.

Carlo flipped, and ultimately even if Mink can win Tony’s case on the handgun charge there are some seriously rough waters ahead. Three of his best Capos are either dead or incapacitated and of the three remaining one is banging his daughter, one is named after Bobby Darin and one is afraid of cats. But there’s a lot of positives when you think about it that may carry the family through to a feature film, or at least comfort the average viewer who is miffed at the lack of tangible resolution.

AJ finally has his head out of his moonbat ass and is working with Carmine Junior on a movie. Meadow is going to be a lawyer at 170K starting salary and seems to have landed a decent guy in Patsy’s son. Christopher has been reincarnated as an orange tabby. Carmela is pressing on with her real estate development and Janice has 3 kids and Johnny Sack’s old house to be nutty in. And Tony - Tony is genuinely happy. Note the scene where he’s raking the leaves and he pauses to contemplate the back yard, probably thinking about his beloved ducks. Or when he grabs AJ’s hand in the diner at the very end. His closure with Junior in the state mental hospital. I think there were a lot of “finale-worthy” moments that the detractors missed.

Back to Junior and Tony’s scene in the ward. “You and my Dad, you used to run North Jersey.” “Did we? That’s nice.” Maybe it’s due to my current personal situation, but that exchange really choked me up. For all their past glory, and all the ‘respect’ they are supposed to command within their universe - at the end of the day it doesn’t amount to a hill of penne, and the mob simply doesn’t work anymore.

So what happened to Tony at the very end? I remember a scene from a few seasons ago where Bobby is intimidating a guy in a bar who owes him money. It’s the first time you ever see Bobby as anything more than Junior’s flunkie and you can trace his transformation from that specific moment like a road map. He tells the guy that when you get whacked, it just goes black suddenly. Much like the end of the diner scene last night. But I don’t think Tony is supposed to have been clipped in Chase’s final bow. No way.

The level of anxiety that was created in the final moment’s of the Soprano’s last episode was incredible. It was right up there with Henry Hill’s sauce and Carlito’s cousin’s beer cooler. Tony scans the room for potential leftover Leotardo interlopers and FBI goons. From the trucker, to the paisan, to the hip-hoppers, to the couple and back to the guy at the counter again. He’s out in public with his family, devoid of any crew and a sitting duck of the highest order - even with his back to the wall. That’s the life he has chosen and how he’ll have to live it long after we don’t get to follow along anymore.

For this long time Baba-Binger, last night was a calculated mix of both closure and speculation. I am glad Tony and his family survived, and I am especially happy that Paulie didn’t defect to New York - but we know that there can never be a happy ending for any of them. Whether we literally see Tony’s brains all over a big bowl of onion rings or are forever left to wonder exactly whatever happened to that Russian in the Pine Barrens.