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Trailer Park Boys

Overcharged for Hydro in Ontario

by Dave on October 2, 2010

in Whinging

electrocuteWhen a neighbour of mine popped over recently to ask if I too were being charged insane monthly hydro amounts, I looked back on my bills for the summer (I live in Portland, Ontario) to learn they’ve been consistently $500 and over for many, many months. How did I miss these ridiculous charges? My lame excuse is: because the monthly hydro bills are directly withdrawn from my bank account. So I logged into said account and looked a little closer to see that for September’s bill of over $900 had just been directly placed in Hydro One’s coffers. “WTF?” doesn’t really cover the reaction that followed.

And here’s the thing – I’ve been having issues with my furnace and have had it completely switched off for over 4 weeks now. Were I running a grow-op with massive amounts of hydroponic equipment nurturing illegal flora in my basement, I’d keep my mouth shut. But since my Hydro bill should have actually been dramatically less for last month – well, it’s driven me to blog about this nonsense in the hopes eventual readers might be able to share their stories or shed some light on just what the heck is going on. And forget the $900 for a second. I’ve easily been paying over 50% more every month than should be normal for a 30 day utility charge for over a frickin’ year now.

Hydro One: I’m not building a spaceship, powering a nuclear reactor or harbouring the Trailer Park Boys’ next big growing scheme on my property. I’m going to call you next week and try to get to the bottom of this. And by “get to the bottom of this” I actually mean “get a massive credit/refund”. I will keep everyone updated as to what transpires. If you’ve found this post via a Google search and are in the same boat – please leave your own story in the comments below. In the meantime, I’ll be panhandling or selling my body in anticipation of next month’s financial haemorrhage.

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Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys

by Dave on December 11, 2008

in Television

There are no words. I will let Clattenburg do the talking and ruminate further in a future post.

“Over the past few months there has been a lot of discussion among our fans and those in the media about the future of Trailer Park Boys. Will there be another season, another special, another movie? The last thing we want to do is keep our loyal fans in the dark about the show we have all loved doing for the past eight years, so we’d like now to shed some light.

We have a final one hour television special, Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys, which goes to air on Showcase on Sunday, December 7, 2008. Then after that, our sequel movie, Countdown To Liquor Day (working title), is due to be released in Canadian theatres in October, 2009.

But, after that, there will be no more. Yes, it’s the end of Trailer Park Boys. Our fans have been so supportive and inspiring that we wanted you to be the first to know. Much love and thanks from all of us at Sunnyvale Trailer Park.”


“I love all creatures. Like gophers and deerts, and all those flying things and everything else – but seagulls i got no time for those cocksuckers.”

It’s going to be tough going without you boys, but I’ll manage. Somehow, I’ll have to manage. Raising a glass of Jiffy Wine to you, sirs.

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Trailer Park Boys: Season Fucking 7.

by Dave on April 3, 2007

in Television

While most of us are running around filled with glee at the imminent start of the Sopranos’ final 6 episodes, let us not forget that April also marks the start of a new season in Sunnyvale. Season 7 begins with “I Fuckin’ Miss Corey and Trevor” and premieres this Sunday night at 9pm:



“The Trailer Park Boys are back for their 7th season. Cross border dope smuggling, model train hobbyists and Sebastian Bach, ex-frontman of Skid Row collide in these 10 hilarious new episodes.

It sounds like the boys will have a few run-ins with Americans in this new foray. After a little digging, I found some spoilers. They boys will be selling meat in the LC parking lot to make money. Lahey switches from Liquor to dope. Apparently there’s several new animals in the park, including Sheryl the Crow and some raccoons. Ricky discussing the new influx of critters: “… but I got fuckin’ insects now coming to my trailer, frogs and fuckin these things that look like cats but they got this long beaky nose things , they’re all attracted to my dope …

As for #7 supposedly being the Sunnyvale’s last hurrah, Rob Wells (Ricky) recently said: “It’s still up in the air,” he said. “We’d love to keep going. A couple of people are a little tired and burnt out and need a break.” It’s no secret who Wells is referring too. Corey and Trevor are apparently completely absent from this series because the actors who play them didn’t want to participate. Which I’m sure they’ll regret in a few years when they’re both living off bar appearances. “We’re definitely up for keeping going, if everyone else is.” In the new series it’s apparently reported that Corey and Trevor have been committed to a mental institution because of all the abuse at the hands of Ricky and Julian over the years.

If you live in Canada, you can watch the entire first episode as of yesterday on Showcase’s website. If you live in the states, like me, it’s blocked. Bugger. But never fear my Yank friends, about an hour after the show airs on Sunday it will be available for download via a torrent right here. If you can’t wait, here’s a poor quality torrent rip of the webstream that is blocked in the USA. Now frig off.

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The Quizzlet was another repeat today. I wish she wouldn’t do that so often. Perhaps I should start my own quiz meme site. I’ll get in a little practice and write my own questions today. Please feel free to play along in the comments.

What will you miss most about Boston if you ever actually leave?
Not counting friends, narry a whole heck of a lot. If that were a different story, I probably wouldn’t be leaving in the first place. I won’t be sitting in my apartment in Toronto weeping and working on an oil painting of the Charlestown skyline – let’s put it that way.

What is your favorite television show? Pay TV doesn’t count.
The second season of the brilliant Life on Mars started last week, and I’ve downloaded the first 2 episodes, as I recommend you do here. If you don’t fall in love with Gene Hunt and Sam Tyler after an hour, “I’ll come around your houses and stamp on all your toys. Got it? Good kids”. The Trailer Park Boys Movie is now out on DVD, too.

What profession do you wish you’d taken up instead of your current one?
Take it easy, James Lipton. I should have become a homicide detective. All I do in my spare time is watch reality cop shows, and I would love to clock in every day tasked with catching lazy, murderous scumbags. Coincidentally, that’s also the new name of my garage band.

Are there any hardcore Democrats in the audience who feel like their party is completely screwing the pooch in terms of selecting a candidate for 2008?
I’d love to see a woman in the presidency some day. I’d love to see a black person in the presidency some day. Hell – let’s just blow everyone’s mind and elect Tyra Banks. But let’s also be realistic and keep the endgame in mind – this isn’t the decade. The country isn’t ready for it yet. Short of running a unicorn or one of those hairdo trolls that you put on the end of a pencil, the Dems are going to have to come back down to Earth if they want to stand a ghost of a chance next year. Am I wrong?

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This is a song I play down at the legion sometimes…” – Bubbles.

The Trailer Park Boys rake in a ton of money in the show’s off-season making in-character personal appearances, and for the last few years they have toured as opening acts for a lot of Canadian bands. They took it a step further last week in Halifax, Nova Scotia – their home Province.

Axl has done duets with the likes of Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, Bono, Springsteen, and now …Bubbles! A page in the history of rock n roll was written that night, and I’m glad I was there to witness it.” -YouTube comment

The Metro Center in Halifax holds a gazillion people, and I know it was sold out for this show. To hear thousands of voices singing along to Bubbles’ infamous ditty is something you just have to watch for yourself. And when Axl himself does his strange little serpentine slither up to the front of the stage to join in, and actually appears to know the words, it’s a very odd sight indeed. But in a good way.

Seeing Axl Rose sing along to Nova Scotia’s new official anthem rocks …and hearing how the nearly 10,000 people there knew all the words is just so insanely funny.” YouTube Comment

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To celebrate P-Cip, Sean and my’s foray into Canadian media fame, see the Trailer Park Boys have American Fans article from yesterday, I thought I’d look for a musical clip related to the show. The first thing I found is a funny scene from the new movie where Tragically Hip’s lead singer, Gord Downie, makes a cameo as a cop. Ricky, who is famous in the TV series for tricking cops to get out of trouble, convinces them that Julian is deaf. The other cop, who asks “Where are you coming from?” is Alex Lifeson, the lead guitarist from RUSH:

Then I found a clip from the beginning of my all-time favorite episode, Who’s the Microphone Assassin, where J-Roc and the Roc Pile shoot a low-budget video for the song of the same name. “The day that J-Roc loses his flow is the day that hair on Jim Lahey’s bald head grow…

Later in the same episode, the boys have a rap concert. But J-Roc has stage fright due to having been caught masturbating (I couldn’t make this stuff up) so other members of the gang have to fill in. Cory, Trevor and then finally Bubbles get up on stage to bust some rhymes. “Mad MC skills leave ya struck, and I roll with my kitties and I’m hard as fuck!”

And finally, J-Roc gets talked into performing, and the ditty he performs about his mom catching him wanking is undeniably catchy. Ask anyone who has seen this episode – you’ll be chanting “It could happen to you, cause it happened to me…” for a few days afterwards.

If you’re uninitiated, I’ve just given you an easy way to take a peek at this ridiculous phenomenon. Hit the play button on any of the videos to see the clips. I swear this is almost the last of it. Since I’m now an official authority, I have to act accordingly.

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The Media And Me.

by Dave on October 10, 2006

in Television

The Pye In The Face Press Desk has been ablaze all day. First, Goonblog gets mentioned on MSNBC. Obviously, I thought it would end there. I didn’t go on a tri-county shooting spree or anything. Maybe Chris did – I should ask. Then, a nice woman emails me from the Canadian Press and asks if I’d like to do an interview about American Trailer Park Boys fans. She Googled PITF and obviously found an obsessive number of references. I am inching closer and closer to winning the ultimate object of my desire. My muse. My filthy fantasy dirty-time woman. You guessed it – Liz Walker.

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Trailer Park Boys: The Movie is set to become the top-grossing Canadian film of all time. And if that doesn’t happen, it will at least eclipse the current canon of FUBAR, Porky’s and Strange Brew as the most internationally accessible piece of Canadian celluloid out there. With Ivan Reitman (you may have heard of Ghostbusters) producing, Clatterburg’s motley crew of guttersnipes is poised for an accompanying distribution deal of the 7 seasons of hilarious TV shows. They are currently talking to three major networks – including Showtime. The stipulation so far has been that it has to be sold somewhere on cable so they don’t have to edit out all the swearing, which is why many feel it didn’t fare better on BBC America 2 years ago. Bleeps just aren’t as funny as creative lines like: “Knock knock, Who’s there? Fuck off“, obviously.


The soundtrack they’ve put together is impressive, and should make a mint all by itself. And, like on the TV show, Canadian musician cameos are in full-effect. “two already avowed Trailer Park fans, Rush’s Alex Lifeson and the Tragically Hip’s Gord Downie — unrecognizable beneath cheesy moustaches — as a couple of gung-ho cops.” That is definitely worth the price of a ticket right there. I will post reviews as I find them over the weekend. Things are looking good so far, and don’t think there aren’t critics in Canada who’d love to see this movie fail. These reviews will be fair.

Toronto Star: *** – There is even time for a little character development — actual, almost heartwarming romance, even.

Ottawa Citizen: *** – The dignity is the surprise in Trailer Park Boys … most of the time. Julian is the large man who carries a constant glass of rum-and-Coke, even when he goes to the bar (“I brought this from home,” he explains).

Globe and Mail: ** 1/2 – Where it works, brilliantly on occasion, is at the edges (the best lines arrive as tossed-off asides) and in the performances of a cast who have lived with these characters long enough to capture them intimately, and to convey their strange blend of weirdness and familiarity.

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Empowered. Passionate. Dave.

by Dave on August 29, 2006

in

A fellow blogger makes a nice TPB related comment about some of my fruitless Squidoo work. Thanks, pal. Here’s a link right back at ya. But he’s right – I’m going nutty at the moment in antici… pation. Doyle has just suggested a Season 6 marathon at my place in the North End on September 9th. So who is in? Pepperoni, Bacardi, chicken fingers (the $8 kind), Jiffy Wine, pickle chips and slow-fried baloney sammiches will be served. Come help me horrify my new roomate.

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Appetizer: Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
John Dunsworth who plays Mr. Lahey on Trailer Park Boys is an exceptional actor. In addition to the best drunk impersonation I’ve seen since Foster Brooks, some of the show’s most touching moments have focused on his multi-layered, tragic character. He’s been acting on the Canadian scene since 1987, and worked as a granite hauler, casting agent and cab driver prior. Now, he spends most of his time playing bridge, sailing and making shit analogies.

Soup:
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
Quizzlet, I don’t think you fully realize the potential consequences of erudite vernacular when utilized irrespective of necessity. Now frig off.



Salad: What is something inanimate that you’ve given a name to (i.e pet rock)?
I have little names for everything, and a lot of fun completely bastardizing the English language. My big thing these days is to tag ‘let’ on to things that are small, cute or silly. My sister and I call eachother ‘tardlets’. My friend’s daughter is ‘Grifflet’. I made up a word and an associated site for silly euphamisms called Friglets. It’s a sad statelet of affairs.

Main Course: What color would best represent your personality and why?
Cobalt blue is my favorite color. It represents my personality because it is calm, strong and completely non-commital. Am I cobalt? Am I blue? Will I die alone?

Dessert: Fill in the blanks: ______ is so _______.
Hansel is so hot right now. Admit it. It’s the first thing you thought of too.

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I saw a little kid this morning with the same Sunnyvale T-Shirt you see me wearing in the photo below from the Beachcomber. He was with his family outside the Park Plaza. I yelled out “Freedom 35!” and he looked at me like I’d just opened the sliding door of a black 1975 Chevy van and offered him moist candy corn. Then it seemed to sink in and he laughed, as did his father. I assume he was a Canadian tourist, but what if he wasn’t? What if the upcoming movie becomes a cult classic along the lines of Strange Brew or FUBAR and I’m suddenly vindicated for all the TPB prattling I’ve been doing on here for the last 24 months? October 6th fast approaches.

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I’m Not Your Donner.

by Dave on June 20, 2006

in Television

The only thing that’s worse than oppressive heat is oppressive heat in the middle of a rainstorm. And the only thing worse than that is having nothing better to talk about than the frigging weather. At least in this scenario no one can accuse me of having a degenerative sweat duct disorder. I have to traverse the city twice tonight for meetings and will undoubtedly stumble through my apartment door around 9pm like one of the Donner Party.

The Oilers lost last night, and although I was bummed it was one of the greatest and most exciting series of hockey, or any other sport, that I’ve ever watched. Now what am I supposed to do? Glad you asked. Luckily Big Brother (the UK version – I’m not that sad) is in full swing, and my router at home is smoking from all the downloading. Year after year I am absolutely transfixed by this show, and I’m not proud of it. Good watchin’.

I have to wrap it up and start the evening’s journey. I’ll leave you all with this insane Lego site, where someone with even more spare time than me has made “dream playsets” of all his favorite pop-culture icons – including Trailer Park Boys. And yes, Julian has a little lego Bacardi and Coke.

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Trailer Park Boys Video Clips

by Dave on June 1, 2006

in Television

Got a grey kitty, white one and a tabby too – and a little orange guy who puts snakes in my shoe. Mad MC skills leave ya struck, and I roll with my kitties and I’m hard as fuck!” – Bubbles.

I’ve lost a little steam in regards to my affection for Squidoo. The first couple of months it made me some money – but now it’s slowed down and a lot of people have abandoned it. It’s still useful in terms of SEO, but if I’m not at work building lenses for clients – I don’t really touch it at all. Squidoo, that is.

Yesterday all that changed. The most recent versions of Flash have enabled great and easy video compression, and sites like Google Video – and especially YouTube – have blasted through the roof. Now anyone can upload massive sized videos and have them compressed on the fly for all to see. I uploaded some clips I shot at the Pogues concert back in March, and they got tons of traffic and I even received emails from other people who were at the show, saying hello. A big honking community has built up around it.

Now Squidoo has a YouTube plugin, which enables you to choose thumbnails of your favorite videos or even embed the player right into the lens full-sized. I wanted to give ‘er a test last night, so I opened up my Trailer Park Boys lens for the first time in a while and integrated all of the funniest clips I could find. There’s Bubbles rapping, a Jim Lahey drunk montage, Ricky trying to get his grade 10 and many more. If you’ve been curious about the show, or just want to refresh your memory, visit Sunnyvale to watch all of the readily accessible new videos. Or maybe don’t.

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A Long Way From Sunnyvale.

by Dave on May 23, 2006

in Television

Has anyone else noticed that the evil girl (Ellen Page) in the new movie Hard Candy is Treena Lahey from Trailer Park Boys? Remember in Seasons one and two Mr. Lahey had a daughter living with him who wasn’t allowed to hang out with Ricky? Just me? OK. Well regardless, that’s her. I liked this movie a lot better when it was called Poison Ivy/The Crush but good for Ellen! She’s also in X3. Another Canuck on the foreward invasion force.

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Trailer Park Boys Return To Glory.

by Dave on April 25, 2006

in Television

Before we get started, the second weigh-in of the PITFPAC is tomorrow morning – sharpish! If you lollygag, pussyfoot or otherwise slack on getting me figures, you’ll be culled from the determined flock of 15 and left to wallow in your own porktralesence.

Every year around this time, my beloved Trailer Park Boys begins another series on Showcase in Canada. Through devious and piradacious means, I get to watch them about 12 hours after they premier. I was quite unimpressed with Season 5, and lost a lot of my TPB zeal. You could say I feared they had truly jumped the shark somewhere around the introduction of Conky in Season 4. But I take it all back. Season 6 is killing me thus far. I found this graphic yesterday, someone obviously took the TPB characters and morphed them into South Park cartoons, and I knew it was time to write about the new hotness…

I am just going to bulletpoint a few things that have happened in the first 2 episodes The Way of the Road and The Cheeseburger Picnic. Fans of the show will ‘get it’, and people who haven’t seen it will be so morbidly transfixed by these statements that they’ll be forced to rush out and get the DVDs for Seasons 1-5.

Bubbles opens a day care center for cats called “KittyLand”. While he is currently working for free, as he owns about 30 of them anyways, he hopes to eventually make some cash caring for other people’s. He’s built a mini amusement park on the front lawn of his shed and it looks ridiculous.
Julian made $8200 selling potato vodka in jail, and also got his real estate license during his last stint. He buys a run-down trailer from Barb Lahey in episode 1 and now intends to ‘flip’ them for an honest living.
J-Roc has 2 pregnant “Baby Momma’s” living with him and T-Bone, and is also trying to go legit. No longer stealing groceries or rapping, J-Roc seems to be trying to get in on the whole real estate thing with Julian.
– Ricky and his father Ray have developed a new scheme – stealing garbage. “Once it’s at the curb, it’s garbage“. So naturally they pull a lot of lawn furniture down to the end of people’s driveways when they’re not home and then come back for it later. The garbage strategy is becoming a problem for his reconciliation with Lucy, because “He always smells and bees follow him everywhere“.
– Randy and Mr. Lahey break up. Jim moves in with his ex-wife Barb to sober up, and Randy starts spending a lot of time with two local cops. Lahey mixes iced tea into his rye bottles to appear drunk when he’s really sober, and plans to lull the boys into a false sense of security and then get them out of the park once and for all. Lucy tries to seduce the cops at the park’s first annual Cheeseburger picnic with her hot dog eating techniques, but they seem more interested in Bo-Bandy. Sam Losco also crashes the proceedings.
Sarah, Corey and Trevor, still dating as a threesome, open a convenience store in a shed in the park. It seems like a good idea, as Bubbles in particular is always going down there for “pop n’ chips“, but everyone’s credit seems to be great at this particular store, and I don’t see it ending well for park commerce.
Ray gets kicked out of the park for his urine disposal methods. A former trucker, Ray claims that pissing into 2 liter jugs and then throwing them into the tree on his property is simply “The Way of the Road”. Bubbles thinks that “firing pissy jugs into the forest isn’t the way of any fuckin’ road“. Randy and the cops agree, and Ray has to take his detached semi sleeper cab and move to the nearby dump.

I couldn’t make this shit up. Welcome back TPB, and I can’t wait to see the movie this summer. See the hilarious trailer here. BTW – a Saturday afternoon North End Season 6 marathon is forthcoming as soon as I get a few more of them. And you didn’t hear this from me, but you can download them yourselves via torrent here. Stay tuned for an afternoon of rye, chicken fingers and pepperoni very soon…

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