Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Search Results for: pitf

New PITF Feature: Thursday Throwback


in Pye in the Face, Thursday Throwback

eighties

Pye in the Face turned 5 years old last month and there is a wealth of over 2000 posts from those first 60 months, some of them worthy of a second look, gathering dust. Don’t I sound like the proud papa? I found a plugin that automatically regurgitates old posts at random, but that seemed like cheating. Every Thursday I am going to manually reach back in time, dig in the crates and link you back to one or more posts you may have missed the first time. Or blocked out with the help of a capable therapist.

Our first trip through the Stargate/Pyegate/Nerdgate will revisit one of my most popular posts ever in terms of page views, comments and (to this day) search engine traffic. My best 80’s songs post from October, 2004 saw me thinking long and hard about my 10 very favorite tunes from that ridiculous decade. Upon rereading it, it holds up and I still wouldn’t change a thing.

The coolest incident which resulted from this post was that I was contacted by a member of one of the bands I heralded – namely, Drew Arnott from Strange Advance. He found the article via Google and cleared up some of the facts I’d gotten wrong. Follow the link to read our back and forth.

Step back in time. Get all “Bill & Ted”. Have a look at the list of 80’s tunes which I agonized over for a couple of days and then share your own favorites in the comments.

{ 0 Comments }

The Immediate Future of PITF


in Pye in the Face

I can’t take it anymore. My current install of Wordpress, the application which powers this blog, is currently so corrupt that most people can’t comment and I can’t save any backend changes whatsoever. Might as well rename it www.Blagojevich.tv. I have tried to avoid a complete reinstallation but at this point I don’t think there is any way to avoid it. I recently migrated a Wordpress blog for a friend and my confidence in that process has increased a bit, so I am thinking now is the time for action. Now is the time I reclaim Pye in the Face from the wee gremlins and ghosties that have been gumming up the works for the past 6 months. It must be great again!

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of the times. Now is the winter that, discontented, I reinstall Wordpress.” – Me

If you pass by and see anything wacky going on in the next few days, you’ll know why. I refuse, however, to be held responsible for any and all niche Austrian pornography which may appear here in my absence. Especilly those midget clowns that pee on female ringmasters. I may have just dreamed that, though.

{ 0 Comments }

I’m Calling Kutcherbusters


in Movies, Nerdery

Friends, Romans, countrymen. Listen to me very carefully. I was just directed towards a truly awful rumor by my favorite movie blog. Are you sitting down? I mean it. Take a seat, a deep breath and possibly a Xanax before reading any further.

Rumors of Ghostbusters 3 have been as persistent as rumors about the existence of actual ghosts. And now there’s evidence for an even scarier notion: Ashton Kutcher playing one of the leads.

We, as rational human beings and children of the 80s, can never let this happen. Never. Now, I’m not a radical, a bra-burner or one prone to protest. Until my mid-twenties, I thought that “activism” was the company who brought us Pitfall and River Raid. But I’ve got a petition on the brain. Petitions got Betty White on SNL, Jonathan Winters exposed to a new generation of unworthy fans and they can do wonders for a third ancient and long-suffering throwback – the Ghostbusters franchise. And by “do wonders” I of course mean “keep an already risky venture from becoming a guaranteed cinematic disaster the likes of Ishtar or Howard the Duck”.

Editor’s Note: I am a fan of both Ishtar and Howard the Duck. That doesn’t change the fact they shat the bed at the box office and are readily accepted by sheep who’ve never seen them as two of the worst movies of all time. Back to our regularly scheduled nerdery…

kutcherbustersI’m not going to try and act cool or pretend I’m kidding anyone who knows me. I’d love to see a new Ghostbusters film and I’ve even written about it before. It’s going to happen, with or without Bill Murray, and I do not want to see it fail. According to IMDB, some returning stars are already confirmed (Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis) and there are rumors of several exciting new additions (Bill Hader, Anna Faris). And, even though I’m disgusted, concerned and hyperventilating as a result of his Kutcher-related comments in the video above (as playful as they may have seemed), original director Ivan Reitman seems gung-ho for a return to Ghostly glory.

Mr. Reitman, please. Kutcher’s already demonstrated a penchant for dating marrying women dramatically older than himself. Don’t encourage him to whip out his proton pack and take it one sick step further. Busting ghosts might lead to banging them.

I’ll be watching this production carefully, folks. So you don’t have to. Because you have lives. Stay tuned for what might be my biggest topical dork-fest since the leadup to summer 2008’s return of a certain archaeologist. Dare to dream. Alone in bed.

{ 4 Comments }

Boston Yoga Classes with Amy Leydon


in Endorsements

I keep PITF fairly free of endorsements so I hope you’ll bear with me on this irregular occasion. A good friend of mine, Amy Leydon, recently re-launched her website and it looks fantastic. I’m going to give her some props, some kudos, and most importantly – some search engine friendly link love which should be more obvious than a naked lumberjack attempting the Setu Bandha Sarvangasana pose once you reach the next paragraph.

boston-yoga-teacher-amy-leydon Boston’s Best Yoga Teacher: Amy Leydon

She was literally voted Best Yoga Teacher by Boston Magazine, so that’s not my biased, friend-ish opinion, either. I urge anyone in search of the ultimate in Boston Yoga Classes, retreats, workshops, etc. to seek out Amy immediately. She does it all. Namaste!

{ 0 Comments }

NHL10 – How Do I Love Thee…


in Nerdery, Sporty, Video Games

… Let me count the ways. Much to my sister and her boyfriend’s chagrin I brought my PS3 down from Canada with me and have been thoroughly enjoying it most nights after we all return to the Charlestown house from our respective jobs. Sometimes I can get it to function as a media center, wirelessly streaming the many movies I have on my laptop and playing them through the gaming console. It’s quite cool. But more often than not it skips too much to be watchable… so a gaming console it tends to remain. On these occasions there tends to be heated discussion on who gets to do what, but if I have to sit through the Real Housewives of Orange County a couple times a week, Janet and Damo can surely suffer my ongoing rivalry with the Portland Pirates a time or two.

The reason I brought the Playstation 3 with me is because, well, I’ve loved video games since the first time I ever played one, probably 32 years ago. To say I was an early adopter would be a major understatement. I was playing Adventure on a terminal my Dad had hooked up to a 7-foot-tall mainframe in his workshop at the age of 4. I remember a campground in the very early 80’s that had an arcade with Space Invaders, Defender, Sub Hunt and a few other pioneering hunks of fun. My friend Oliver wins the prize for the first home system I ever played, which was a combination of pong and a light gun target game with abysmal accuracy. The Atari 2600 and Commodore Vic 20 came along soon afterwards and pretty soon my obsession turned to Pitfall and the text adventure games of Scott Adams, The Count being my favorite, even though I never managed to finish it.

Fast-forward another year and I was writing my own games on my Vic using basic and well… you get the point. Considering the era in which I grew up, and who my father and Uncle were, I think that if I didn’t still have any affinity for video games – there’d be something far more wrong with me. That’s what I keep telling myself each morning when I wake up next to two Boston Terriers, at any rate.

Time has marched on mercilessly, as it does, and my current pixelly fascination is the latest version of Electronic Art’s juggernaut, NHL 2010, or NHL10 as it’s been branded. 16 years ago I beat every kid in Mills Hall at the University of Guelph in an NHL ‘92 tournament that someone set up. We chose to use 92 as opposed to 93 or 94 because more kids were familiar with it and I went through my competitors like… I should probably wrap this post up about now while I still might sleep with a woman again someday. My point is, I have a long history with the franchise.

Marco and I enthusiastically trying out the new first-person fighting feature the day of the game’s release back in September 2009.

So this post isn’t a complete informational bust for folks who may have found it via a search engine, here are my favorite bits from NHL10 – all of which have to do with the new “Be a Pro” mode.

  • In “Be a Pro” mode you start on an AHL team (currently the Providence Bruins for me) and have to prove yourself in order to make it up to the show.
  • At the conclusion of every shift your coach provides bullet points in a popup window of what you did well and what you need to work on. “Good positioning out there. Keep firing them at the net. You picked a good time to start a fight and get the team’s energy up but you have to hold your own.”
  • Speaking of fighting, it’s in first-person perspective for the first time ever and it’s a heck of a lot of fun. I’m getting better, and win the odd fight, but it’s been hard to master thus far.
  • I love the fact that if you set the style to “Authentic” if you’re in the penalty box, or even just resting on the bench, your viewpoint switches to first-person and you have to turn your head back and forth to keep your eye on the action like you’re at Wimbleton.

A super game, and well done to Electronic Arts. Who else has played it? With the strength of EA’s offering this year, is it even worth renting the competition’s 2K10? Sound off, my hockey nerds of the evening. I know you’re out there.

{ 2 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue


in Friday's Quizzlet

Fancy another reader-generated Quizzlet for all of us to answer? I certainly do. I’m going to Tweet and Facebook this request as well, so there’s no escape for any of you. Please post any silly or serious questions (in the comments below) that you’d like to hear answered by your friendly neighborhood narcissistic prick – namely, me. We need a grand total of 5. Update: OK, we got there.

Appetizer: Who’s the douchiest celeb in Hollywood (besides Kanye)? – Dana G.

joe-francis-paris-hilton-tit I’m glad you added that clarification, Dana, because I definitely would have gone after that ridiculous pinhead if you hadn’t. The word “celebrity” is a strong word to use when describing this guy, but the award has to go to Girls Gone Wild creator, Joe Francis. How he has managed to end up bedding celebutantes the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton on the strength of simply videotaping drunken, barely legal females on Spring Break is a mystery to us all. Couple that fact with the jail time he’s done as a result of his paparazzi-pornographer status, and the recent charges against him for… everything under the sun… and he definitely wins today’s PITF award for being an outstanding douchebiscuit. Or maybe I’m just a little jealous.

Soup: Will the Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 remake merely disappoint the loyal following of the House of Freddy? – Angie F.

fat-kid-sandlot I’m really happy about Jackie Earle Haley being cast as the new Freddy Krueger because he’s perfect (in his own creepy way) and without a solid Fred the film would die on the vine without a doubt. Meyers and Voorhees, both of whom have had their franchises more or less successfully resuscitated over the past year, are very different entities. They don’t talk. They wear masks so there aren’t even facial expressions to consider. Notice, pursue, kill. They might as well be mindless robots, so their 2009 versions weren’t all that critical to the success or failure of the new Friday the 13th or Halloween movies. Freddy on the other hand obviously speaks and was always played by Robert Englund as full of sadistic personality with a strong dose of wicked humor. In my opinion, on the “evil scale” Freddy made Jason and Michael Myers look like the red-headed fat kid from The Sandlot. The actor is therefore crucial in this case and Haley is ideal. Admittedly it will be hard for me to picture Kelly from Bad News Bears as a re-animated child murderer with 100% of his body covered in 18th degree burns. But he was nominated for an Oscar in 2007, so stranger things have happened.

Salad: If you could be just one player from a sport or an athletic team, who would it be and why? – Kat

I haven’t been following any sport recently, except maybe hockey, with the zeal I once did, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Larry Bird. Maybe it’s because we share a birthday. Perhaps it’s because I was absolutely basketball-obsessed as a kid in the 80s. Maybe it’s because he’s from a town called French Lick and hearing that phrase invariably gives me a naughty pause for thought. My point is – I simply don’t know why it’s Bird. But it’s Bird.

Main Course: What wedding song should be banned forever (besides Lady in Red)? – Seany Mac

How about that “Butterfly Kisses” song? If I were to hear it at a wedding in the Ozark Mountains, and the bride was in possession of three teeth, I’d think to myself, “Fair enough. When in Rome.” But when I hear it at the wedding of someone I went to high school with it makes me want to grab the DJ’s mic like they were Taylor Swift and then stop the insanity.

Dessert: Over half a year in, have your feelings towards Barack Obama changed at all, and if so – exactly how? – Matt H.

For those of you who don’t remember I wrote a long, thought out piece last year about why I didn’t feel Obama was fit for the Presidency and the specific reasons as to why. That’s not to say I didn’t think he’d ever be ready – quite the opposite. In many ways he was already very qualified. If good looks and a talent for public speaking were the major responsible prerequisites for the insanely important position he’d have had my vote. But it isn’t and he didn’t. Unfortunately, if you were to ask 90% of people back then why they were planning to vote for Obama they’d have said, “He’s well-spoken.” If you doubt me on that then your memory is a wee bit selective. I still feel that his election was premature, he had precious little tangible experience and his campaign had an incredibly advanced grasp of the power of social media and the internet in general. That having been said, I’ve since warmed up to him. He’s been tough on troublesome international leaders like Putin and Chavez. He has brass balls. He’s a remarkably cool and composed dude – at all times. If he fails to achieve an 8-year term it will be as a direct result of his healthcare stance and he must tread very carefully over the next few months. Socialized healthcare sucks, and I’m speaking with more experience than any person should have. Sorry – I think I must have hit my head there or something. Back to the dick jokes…

{ 8 Comments }

Veekend Video: Pye Rockets in Flight


in , Veekend Video

Way back in October, 1999, my company at the time decided to take the team to Maine for a good old-fashioned jump from 10,000 feet. We brought everyone with us, from senior management to the 20 Indian programmers on “loan” to us from our sister company in Chennai to the early-twenty-somethings like myself. I paid to have my ridiculously-rapid descent videotaped and about a year ago I digitized it, edited out the awful techno-music they’d dubbed over it all and uploaded it to YouTube – but I don’t think I ever mentioned it here on PITF. So with no further ado, enjoy 225 pounds of Pye hurtling towards Earth…

“Mom, Dad – All is forgiven.”

I edited out all of the promotional material the skydive company weaved in (it was originally over 10 minutes) and dubbed in a little De La Soul – the aptly named track: “Fallin’”. Enjoy my hard to hear but still brilliant one-liners like “See you on the ground”, “Mom and Dad all is forgiven” and my personal favorite, “See you in the next world”. There’s also a definite Chris Farley-influenced head jerk right before I shake the cameraman’s hand at the end, and at least one of my famous De-Niro face pulls. Possibly simultaneously.

Half of us had to sleep overnight in tents due to high winds canceling any more jumps around 4pm on the Saturday. Kyle, Gus, Colin and myself decided to rough it until Sunday and spent a memorable evening around the campfire getting to know the staff of New England Sky Dive – many of whom were from other countries. One Australian lad entertained us by lighting “devil sticks” on fire and then swinging them precariously close to his face. He escaped injury, but the worst bang-up wasn’t to happen until the next morning.

Most of the remaining BrainGEMmers jumped out of the same plane around 9am the next morning. Also on our plane, who jumped last, was a cool girl named Sarah we’d gotten to know the night before. She worked at the air field and was conducting her very first solo jump. After we’d landed safely on the ground, we watched in horror as she drifted off course and slammed into the side of a house several miles away. After we finished shitting corbels, we were told she was OK and began the long drive back to Boston. The next morning, however, Kyle found a news article online describing the death of a young female skydiver at that very location. It turned out to be a false report, but for several hours we were gutted and even went to far as to call SDNE to find out where we could send flowers.

In closing, you haven’t lived until you’ve jumped out of a rickety prop aircraft at 12,000 feet with a 7-foot German tied to your back.

{ 3 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Munster Mumba Jumbo


in

I started writing this Quizzlet over a month ago, so if you see one of your old questions – you’ll know why. Shall we do another “live” Quizzlet this week, kids? I certainly hope so. Please enter your questions – silly or serious – in the comments below, and be sure to come back later to answer everyone’s queries your damn self. This has become my favorite post of the week. Help a brother out.

Appetizer: If you could change anything physical about yourself to become as attractive as you want, but it would take 5 years off your life, would you do it? – Lauren N.

eddie-munster Absolutely not. I like myself. Considering having my hairline restored a wee bit, but why waste 5 years when you can have it done for about $2,000? I have friends who’ve had a little follicle-fiddling done and it looks great in every case. Send money, guys, and I won’t name names. Might take it a step further and get myself a proper Eddie Munster widow’s peak. Or maybe just a perma-bowlcut. The possibilities are endless. My hair experience is kinda weird. About 5 years ago I started losing it at an alarming rate, and it scared the hell out of me. Then it stopped as suddenly as it began and I haven’t lost any since. Further proof that huffing turpentine is actually bad for you, and I’m glad I finally kicked the habit.

Soup: Last year, you were all over the new Indiana Jones movie. What movie are you looking forward to the most this summer? – John B.

That’s an easy one, Barkster – James Cameron’s Avatar. Jimmy comes out of hiding once every decade to make a classic – Aliens, T2, The Abyss, some silly flick about a big boat, etc. And by “hiding” I mean he’s usually developing some ground-breaking film technique – in this case he’s reviving 3D by all accounts. Here’s the flick’s synopsis…

Avatar is the story of a wounded ex-marine, thrust unwillingly into an effort to settle and exploit an exotic planet rich in bio-diversity, who eventually crosses over to lead the indigenous race in a battle for survival.

I heard 3 other amazing (to me) pieces of movie news this week which deserve their own post. Look for it next week, but I will say it involves a master, a
commander, an alien and an archaeologist.

Salad: What is your favorite and worst TV advert in living memory? – Jason C.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to mention this old Atari ad featuring PITF favorite, the late Phil Hartman. Activision’s cleverly named “Ice Hockey” game was released in 1981 and Hartman plays a very excited and anticipatory consumer.

I’ll never stop missing this guy.

As for least favorite commercials, although I know Arnold‘s campaign was a big success for Vonage, if I never hear that frigging “Woo Hoo” song by the 5, 6, 7, 8’s again – it will be too soon.

Main Course: If you could ask Shane MacGowan one question, eat one meal with him and share one woman with him, who/what would it be? – Kate L.

This is a cool question. A bit twisted, but creative. I would love to ask him where he was, what he was doing and how he felt the day Kristy MacColl was killed. The meal we shared would have to be either a) traditional Irish (I’m thinking corned beef and cabbage, maybe a nice boxty) or b) pureed and sucked through a straw due to his unfortunate dental situation. The woman would also have to be Irish – proper Irish and not simply of aul sod descent. And that woman would undoubtedly be Samantha Mumba. I’m sure you’ll agree, there’s never been a more Irish looking woman.

Dessert: You’ve championed SNL for years, and I know you collect and watch every show from every season. What was your favorite skit of 2008/2009? – Johnny Utah

lawrence-welk-300x168 Even though it was the strongest (and longest due to a writer’s strike-related extended season) season in years, I didn’t even have to think about this one. It was the Lawrence Welk Show skit from the Will Ferrell-hosted season finale which aired on May 16th. The Finger Lake Sisters were first seen earlier in the season when Anne Hathaway hosted. I still break out in hysterical laughter, after many repeated viewings, when the ridiculous “punchline” is finally revealed. Ferrell’s reactions and facial expressions will kill you.


I like potatoes and I like meat. I like standing on the corner of a street…

Here’s a page (only available if you’re in the USA due to Hulu’s licensing restrictions) where you can watch the whole episode which also included a cameo-heavy Celebrity Jeopardy, a hilarious funeral skit and another cameo-rich rendition of Billy Joel’s “Goodnight Saigon”. SNL is back, baby. Super-strong writing, the best collective cast since the late 90s and a deserved ratings renaissance to boot.

{ 2 Comments }

Fortune and Glory: Indiana Jones Marathon in Santa Monica


in Movies, Nerdery

I read about this recent Indiana Jones Marathon in Santa Monica (Appropriate since Harrison Ford has his own private hangar at the Santa Monica airport,) and was pleasantly surprised when, unbeknownst to me, my friend Sean not only attended but took the time to send me a photo he snuck of one of the sacred movie prop relics on display. He also wrote to describe the event and although Harry didn’t how up and start whipping the front row screaming “Get a life, would you people? It’s just a movie!”, I thought I’d share this pentultimate popular culture experience here on PITF.

“Dave – The picture below I took for you for you because you couldn’t be there to join in. I spent 7 hours in a seat watching Indy 1 through 3 last night at the Aero Theater here in Santa Monica. Just out of camera range below this was the broken stone tablet prop and matching shield from Indy 3 that tells Indy how to get to Alexandretta.

staff-of-ra-propIn this picture is the actual Staff of Ra headpiece prop used in the shot in the “Well of Souls” when Indy puts the staff into the correct slot and the beam of light hits the resting place of the ark. The gem in the middle of this piece is actually amber in color but was colored red in the editing because a red gem didn’t show well in the original shot. (if you watch the original film cut, the jewel is red at first, then as it seats, is amber for a spit second as the light hits it and then is red again) The larger version that Marion wears as a medallion in Nepal and then is later examined by the wise man in the “bad dates” scene is about a third larger than this one and is now on display at the Smithsonian in Washington DC.

This is the piece they also shot a green laser through to define the SFX beam on the floor model of Tanis . Then they enhanced the laser to an amber color as the glowing sun beam that blinds the audience when Indy locates the spot where the ark is buried. It is owned by Richard Edlund , the VFX supervisor for Indy 1. Edlund was one of the guests at the showing.

Rumor has it that this same headpiece once resided on Lucas’ mantelpiece along with the Mercedes Benz truck ornament that Indy snapped off the truck in the famous “out-the-windshield” scene at the Skywalker Ranch until he gave it to Edlund as a birthday present years later when he retired from the day to day business at ILM .

Fortune & glory, kid. Fortune & glory. – Sean”

Coincidently I recently forced several uninitiated folk to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time a few weeks ago (young ‘uns. Go figure). Unless I was being completely messed with – they were blown away and could not believe they’d wasted their lives so far watching summer movie tripe like Transformers. It felt good. My ridiculously large DVD collection and I will always be here for the youth of Ontario.

{ 2 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Cold Kickin’ It Live!


in Animalistic, Friday's Quizzlet, Movies

The site from which I used to spelunk my quizzlet questions each Friday has unfortunately gone the way of the Dodo. I’m quite happy to make the questions up myself – but that seems pretty disingenuous. I’d also like to reboot the sense of community we had here on Pye in the Face in years past and encourage reader participation. See where I’m going with this?

Using my Facebook status and Twitter account I’m going to invite all of you to submit the 5 questions which normally make up Friday’s Quizzlet. If folks care enough to get involved maybe I’ll be able to do this every week. I’d also like to invite people to answer the questions themselves in the comments like so many of you used to do in PITF’s golden era. Monday I’ll also be reinstating the Quotelet contest – with real prizes this time around. Sound fun? I’m certainly looking forward to it. Update: Thanks for all the submissions, folks. Here we go.

Appetizer: It’s a common observation that people’s pets resemble them in some way. What are 3 similarities between you and your pet? – Amy K.

1. Shepherd is loyal to a fault. You could say that, however, about every dog that has ever lived. “Want me to follow you into traffic? OK!” Although my “gut feelings” are usually quite dependable there have been a few times in my life where I spent time and energy on fixing people – when I should have been taking out the garbage. Or walking into traffic.

2. Shepherd digs his sister. Janet and I have been very close (since we stopped living together at our parent’s) and we both value each other’s support. For obvious reasons this has become especially important recently and also explains how my 5-day business trip to Boston has turned into over 3 weeks at this point. I’m reminded of Belushi’s SNL skit, “The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave”. But she swears she isn’t. We’ll see what she thinks in another 3 weeks.

3. Shepherd is fascinated by deer poo. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, people.

Soup: Has anyone ever really cared when Jimmy cracked corn? – Megan C.

Yes – it’s quite possible that over the years at least a few people have cared. I’m assuming that to “crack” corn is to husk it and thought up some possible examples.

  • His hungry corn-fed family.
  • A cow, pig or other farm animal who was also quite hungry. If he’s crackin’ corn on a regular basis, he probably lives on a farm. Or needs a hobby.
  • Any major theater chain you wish to choose. Kernels don’t grow on trees, they grow on corn stalks. And getting at the kernels first requires you to crack those motherfuckers.
  • Native American dry colored corn artists. Without Jimmy they’d have far less time to create breathtaking art.

So next time you want to hate on Jimmy the corn cracker, Megan, try showing a little compassion instead. Cornpassion, even.

Salad: What’s your favorite Bonnie memory? Sorry that’s personal but I’d like to hear it. – Mary C-B.

It’s obviously impossible to pick just one. There was an amusing recent occurrence, however, which happened up at the lake house about 3 summers ago. I bugged and bugged my mother to get on the back of a jetski with me, which she was absolutely dead set against. After taking a couple of test runs back and forth across her line of vision, I came back to the dock in one piece and finally coerced her to climb on. She got out of her lawn chair which was set up on the dock beside Gordo and several neighbors and they cheered her on as she straddled the evil, motorized sea beast.

The voyage started out well-enough, with Mom giggling and mock-screaming as she held on to my waist for dear life. Then it all went horribly wrong. Anyone with jetski experience will hammer home one piece of advice to a newbie – never decelerate in a turn. I did just that, right in full view of the dock spectators, and Bonnie and I rolled arse-over-tit beneath the waves in a split second. I climbed back on my steed but Mom had had quite enough and dog-paddled all the way back to shore as we both endured comments from the peanut gallery (well, I got a lot more shit than she did). I tied up at the dock myself about 20 minutes later. As I passed by my father he beckoned for me to lean down before whispering in my ear: “Thanks a lot, asshole. Now she’ll never let me get one.”

Main Course: Which crime would you make punishable by death, and how would the guilty be executed? – Gary P.

Child abuse. Particularly that of a diddly nature. Most states will already execute you for killing a child. Ruining the rest of their life via mental scarring will only get you a comparably short jail sentence followed by a “This Guy is a Diddler” sign on your front lawn. I’ll need more time to devise the ideal method of diddler dispatch, but I can tell you that it will definitely be slow, will definitely be painful and will definitely involve… diddling.

Dessert: Why hasn’t Will Smith insisted on starring in films with better storylines? – Angie F.

I have to assume here that you’re speaking specifically about the two cowboys fighting the giant robotic spider in 1880’s California? If you’re not, you should be. At least you get to see Bai Ling’s buttocks in that pile of garbage, which on second thought isn’t much of an incentive. Seven Pounds put me to sleep quicker that a mallet to the temple, but I think recently his choices have been quite sound. I really enjoyed I Am Legend, Pursuit of Happyness and Hancock. Your theory about Will’s bad choices may come back into fashion, however, as I see his next movie in production is entitled Monster Hunter. I’d like to go on record as saying I hope that movie involves at least one Sasquatch pursuit.

{ 6 Comments }

Boisterous B-Boy Boat Boogie


in Uncategorized

Life’s been a bit of a clusterfrig up here lately, but I’m bound and determined to get the blog’s technical issues fixed and find the time to write more frequently again. I love PITF, love amusing the people who read it regularly and it also saves me hundreds of thousands a year on therapy. So fear not.

Until the day comes when this blog is once again a font of humor and pop culture silliness, I give you one of the highlights from our own Detroit Velvet Smooth’s recent visit to Canada…

As we sailed to a local watering hole Kardinal Officiall came on the old iPod and we were inspired to perform a nautical n’er do well of a dance for my sister – who was luckier to capture it on tape than yesterday’s Bigfoot guy or Zapruder.

{ 0 Comments }

Charlie Bit Me. And it Really Hurt


in Heartwarming

Harry has just learned a valuable lesson from his younger, hungrier and far more sadistic brother, Charlie.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM[/youtube]

Having just spent my allotted writing time on a doozy over at my SEM Blog, I’m forced to fire off a quickie here on PITF. But it’s a doozy of a quickie – I haven’t laughed this hard at an annoying YouTube forward in a very long time. Trust me – watch it, laugh, and keep your extremities away from Charlie at all times.

{ 1 Comment }

Tuesday Tasties: Dave’s Greek Extravaganza


in Tuesday Tasties

As we divvy up duties around the house, I’ve offered to retain my summer Tuesday slot for cooking dinner. One night a week isn’t going to get me past St. Peter, but Janet enjoys cooking immensely and my mother can pick up the slack one or two nights a week. Plus, if I’m only assigned the one night I’m far less likely to simply throw frozen Pogos in the oven. I might actually try do do something special for my brood.

Why not make it a regular feature here on PITF, methinks? I’m not afraid to cook, which I believe is the first big step. Once you get over a general fear of fire or belief that you’re just incapable – it’s really very fun. It doesn’t always turn out as you’d hoped, but several summers of my youth spent working in kitchens has left me fearless and in possession of a reasonable skill base – so I’m going to have a good time with it, make the family happy and expand my limited repertoire at the same time. That’s how it reads on paper, anyway.

I’ll get an idea, I’ll search for the easiest best recipe I can find online and then I’ll just feckin’ give ‘er. Kind of like Jamie Oliver without all of the positive outlook on life.

As I venture into this new hobby-realm-pursuit, I’ll bring you right along with me via recipes I use, photos and maybe even the odd video. We’re debuting with a Greek Extravaganza because I just peeked inside the fridge and there’s a whack of lambchops thawed and ready to roll. I also noticed a tub of Costco feta and even a big tub of Tzatziki hanging around in there. I will be attempting the following:

The recipes I’m using are linked above if applicable, and I’ll be back to update you on the carnage later this evening. I have to marinate the chops for two hours so I’d best get a move on as it’s 4:30 and I don’t want any TV remotes thrown at my head this evening.

IMG 1624

It’s now 9:30 in the pm and I’m happy to report that the meal went very well. Comments included “Wow, I’m impressed,” and even “This lamb is cooked perfectly“. For the loin chops I diced garlic and threw it in a big bowl with red wine, balsamic, olive oil, salt, pepper and oregano, tossed the chops and then put them and the rest of the tasty sludge into a Ziploc and they then marinated in the fridge for 3 hours. My handy T-Fal indoor grill was red hot when I threw them on, 5 minutes a side, and then flashed them in the oven for 2 minutes so that the feta cheese and diced Kalamaata I added after the second grill flip would melt and bind to the top.

The roast potatoes were sliced lengthwise into quarters, tossed in a mixture of lemon juice, salt, pepper olive oil, oregano and water before being baked for an hour on a deep broiler pan. 480 until the water boiled and then down to 350 for the rest of the time. They were tender and tasted almost exactly like the roast spuds you get at Greek restaurants. Tasty, buddy.

The salad was… a Greek salad. It was quite green. Nothing startling to report there. To round out the culinary delight about to befall my family I grilled a piece of flatbread in garlic butter, sliced it into narrow triangles and placed three on each plate with a nice dollop of store bought Tzatziki on top. The final ensemble looked something like this…

IMG 1628

Highlights

  • When the smoke cleared, it was a very tasty dish, reasonably authentic with fresh ingredients and it pleased the crowd.
  • The indoor grill continues to amaze me. It also has a griddle plate you can swap out which makes great grilled cheese and pancakes. Albeit rarely together.
  • Greek food isn’t as hard to prepare as I thought it was. Lamb is a drop in the bucket, but that fear wall has been broken down and I’ll now be able to tackle something really tricky, like Mousakka.
  • Because I needed red wine for the marinade it gave me an excuse to open some on a Tuesday night.

Lowlights

  • From prep to cooking to cleanup this project took me over 3 hours. That’s three hours for a meal that was finished in about 20 minutes. Yes, I enjoyed it but I certainly wouldn’t want to do this more than once a week.
  • The potatoes weren’t overcooked but stuck to the bottom of the pan and had to be carefully removed to keep them intact. I should have turned them more often.
  • The little lamb loinlet thingys were very small and I’d like to try this with a proper chop next time around.

The mouthwatering lambchop photos are up for all to see, and again the recipes are linked further up the page. If you’ve ever tried to prepare this, or a similar, tasty treat please leave any additions or advice in the comments. And if you’ll excuse me I’m sure there are still 15 plates left to clean somewhere in this house.

{ 6 Comments }

Major Friggin’ Disconnect


in

Somehow in spite of my jalopy laptop, long weekend trip and intermittent as frick internet connection I hast doth returned. Getting to Toronto in a car from here usually takes 3 hours. It took 7 on Friday night and 5 the other way on Sunday. I managed to pick the worst Canadian winter in a decade and a half, literally, to relocate to the countryside and it’s doing my head in. Dead network card in the laptop, and now that I managed to hook up an old desktop to keep me working – the internet connection drops out for hours on a whim. So there’s my excuse for my MIAness. Let’s see if I can catch up for the week so far in 5 minutes or less.

Veekend Video: Mitch continues to moisten undergarments everywhere with his latest ad campaign. See you at the Best Buddy X-Mas party, where I’ll be selling spare undergarments at the “captive audience” price of $40:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT1qt4A7xxc[/youtube]

Quotelet: The only photos I’m remotely interested in showing you are the first three official production stills hot off the press for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I was going to link to them here – alas I just found out the studio demanded AICN take them down. Oh well, here’s a photo of one of the temple miniatures made for the film instead. And Karen Allen‘s (Marion Ravenwood) knitwear store which is located in Great Barrington, MA. Good heavens she is looking lovely for 55. It seems like only yesterday I was a 7-year-old watching her nude scene in Animal House whilst rubbing myself in the pants.

Wadio: The only sweet dulcet tones you need to hear today are those of your heartstrings plucking… as you check out 11 new photos of my puppy, Shepherd Pye! He had his dew claws yanked on Friday and is apparently fat, healthy and cantankerous. I’m all for gender-neutrality,but I’ll have to speak to the breeder about the pink pussywillow and snow white blanket backdrop. Shep will be drinking mineral water and collecting Joan Crawford postcards before he’s housebroken.

A Few More Notes:

  • I like the new Foo Fighter’s song (the road to ruin one) and I’m relieved as I’ve been thoroughly uninterested in everything since “Learn to Fly”.
  • You know it’s 2007 (and possibly End of Days) when CNN spends the entire day discussing the fact that Romney’s Western faith might hurt him in the election – free campaign advice: start wearing a bhirka.
  • I have killed 11 mice so far in my effort to rid our garage and the Winchester of vermin. Don’t bother with the traditional wooden traps. There are these new fangled plastic ones that force mice to lift a flap to access the bait – so gone are the days of stolen cheese lumps and unsprung traps.
  • I posted my Amazon wish list in the sidebar in case anyone wants to get me something for my birthday (tomorrow) or Christmas. Call it gift-insurance, Blade Runner begging or DVD on bended knee if you like. On a related note, I have just realized that there is nothing more obnoxious than posting your Amazon wish list in your sidebar.

Thanks for your patience, kids. Missing a day on here truly bothers me and I’m striving to get PITF back to the level of activity it enjoyed this time last year. I encourage you all to comment and participate in the Quizzlets once again. I’m one year older tomorrow, but short of freezing to death in a ditch in my Charger-coffin the blog will be around for a long time to come.

{ 5 Comments }

Reminiscelets: Tough Crowd and Moby


in Politics, Reminiscent, Television

Four years and a thousand entries ago, I started this blog – knowing full well I probably wouldn’t maintain it but that it would be a learning experience relevant to my line of work. Who knew? I recently added a “On this date three years ago” feature in the sidebar in the hopes of getting a few eyeballs on some of the Pye in the Face canon. But I don’t think that’s really enough – especially where search engines are concerned. So I’m going to take time out now and then to draw attention to past posts I think are pretty cool and that you very likely missed.

Three years ago the thoroughly unique and enjoyable Tough Crowd was canceled by Comedy Central – much to my chagrin. I wrote a bunch of posts on the subject that I know were passed around and read by people involved with the show – including Jim Norton, Laurie Kilmartin, Patrick from Cringe Humor and probably even Colin Quinn himself. If you want to learn why I liked the show so very much, follow some of the Tough Crowd related links you see in this paragraph. That’s the whole point. This is how we play the reminiscelets game. My good friend Brukakke and I drove to New York to see the last Tough Crowd episode taping and even made it onto the show via an audience shot that you can see below. We met a lot of the guys and it was good closure for us. We were probably the equivalent of Tough Crowd superfans.

Tough Crowd Last Episode

Another article I read over recently and got a chuckle out of was in response to a blog entry by Moby right after the 2004 election. Moby was so distraught that George Bush had been re-elected that he was asking Canadians if it was alright if he moved up there. I was only too happy to give him an answer. You won’t often see me talk about politics on PITF, or draw attention to when I’ve done it in the past, so enjoy it while you can.

{ 0 Comments }