Nick finished moving in yesterday, and the fishtank has officially arrived! I am far more excited about this than anyone should be, and I have to assume I’ve become a bit too complacent and easy to please. Next I’ll be writing about my undying devotion to 2000 Flushes toilet pucks. Regardless, we’re setting it up today so the tank has all week to get itself up to speed. Apparently you’re supposed to leave it for a week before adding fish or something. Nick’s the one who read the fish book, not me. Of course Nick is also the one who killed all his existing fish during the move, so it might be time for me to lead an investigation into our new marine life’s habitat like Richard Dreyfuss. I’ve already talked him out of dropping in a toilet puck.
I thought as sort of a fun little Monday exercise you all could give me a few tips, pointers, fish breed suggestions, name ideas, etc. And please don’t say ‘Nemo’ or ‘Jaws’. I’m currently planning on naming all of the fish after famous drowning victims. We’ll definitely have Jeff Buckley the Guppie, Natalie Wood the Fantail and Mary Jo Kopechne the Bubble Eye. When the tank is set up and populated, I’ll add some photos here. I’m thinking me, with my shirt off, covered in peanut oil.
Does it count if you drown in your own vodka induced vomit? If so it’ll be easy to name those fishys…
Sam, I think you’re on to something. How about Swimmy Hendrix, Janis Jopfin and Mama Bass?
Sorry Dave..I’m having flashbacks to H.S. bio class and a “hooz killed me fish” moment. Are you ‘shore’ you’re up to the responsibility?
How about a Lacy Peterson fish? Too over the line?
K – I’m gonna try it just one last time. For the halibut. Woka woka woka. My prior aquatic indiscretions not withstanding. To the uninitiated, I had a girlfriend in high school who shared the same biology classroom as K & I, but in a different time block. She was doing an experiment where she would add vodka to one goldfish tank, while leaving another booze free as a ‘control’. She’d then compare the two growth rates. Anyhew, I got mad at her once and K watched me pour the vast majority of the vodka into both tanks, killing both the little buggers and ruining the poor girl’s science project. She was heard to scream “Ooooze killed me fish!” when she arrived later that day (She was from Manchester, England). That’s one way to get back at a woman anyway: Scholastic sabotage.
Prawn Belushi.
Fish Farley
Not to mention Barracuda Bonham and Sea Monkey Moon.
have you seen those Sea Monkeys before? Disgusting. All they do all day is bonk. They don’t have to worry about the diseases, they all-already have them…
Arrrrr… Shiver Me Timbers!!! Lets take a crack at namin a few of thee Pyefish.
Eel McPherson even though she is a Siren.
Cindy Crawfish
My personal Fav – ‘Marlin’ Brando or Dean Marlin… Sammie Bassfish Jr.,
I had two fish once. An Oscar and a Piranha.
Whitely
Love Seamonkeys. Had them for years. The Transcience Corporation made a fotune out of marketing brine shrimp to kids as little pink creatures who lived in castles. One of the great marketing victories of the 20th century. SeaMonkeys are nothing more than the copulating little things you buy at the petstore to feed many kinds of larger fish.
Since fish and Italian mobsters have such a documented history(ie. swimming with the fishes) and since I am living in the North End now, I am feeling compelled to name at least one of the fish after an Italian Gansta. Hmm…..How about Jimmy Two Fins?
I had a friend once who named his fighting fish Sushi. It was mean, but funny in a “how can you possibly be mean to a fish, who has a long-term memory of 3 seconds?” kind of way.
Also, I’d go with veggie oil and not peanut oil for the pix. Peanut oil’s wicked expensive and smells too good. The ppl taking the pix of you would want to eat you. Wait…maybe that’s the point. Forget I said anything about the oil. Can’t wait to see the pix.
And if they’re all of fish, well, I’d be one fuggin’ disappointed chick. And you’d just be a tease. 😉
Glad to see you’re still absolutely filthy, bunny.