Appetizer: What is a word that your family uses that would not be considered common?
My mother has a very strange synonym for “sick” that she once used frequently. “What’s the matter, you feeling punk? David won’t be in to school today, he’s feeling a little punk”. Meanwhile, my vice-principal was probably picturing me jumping around to an Exploited record or stabbing Nancy Spungen to death.
Soup: What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
I have a cat & dog calendar, Twisted Whiskers, which features strange digitally altered photos… like a cat with a long neck and the caption “Hold your head high! That way, you can look down on everybody else.” Thanks, Mom.
Salad: Name 3 people you speak with on a daily basis.
My sister, Monster and my imaginary friend: Winkles the incontinent hermit crab.
Main Course: If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know – who would it be, what would the tattoo be of, and where would you put it on them?
It would be a bright bullseye on Carolyn Parrish’s forehead. I don’t know her personally, but I would like to see her brains blown all over a wall, personally. The worst thing about being Canadian is having to explain mindless, vindictive and looney-liberal comments like this to my American friends.
Dessert: What is the last beverage you drank out of a glass bottle?
“3 buck chuck” from Trader Joe’s. $36 for a case. Dangerous. And so delicious.
Appetizer: What is a word that your family uses that would not be considered common?
these aren’t so much words, but more of sayings.
Yon’t to – which means: What you want to do.
Girl, Girl – means: Hey girl whats goin on.
Dip Dick – Idiot – like when someone cuts you off in traffic – ‘you fukin dipdick’
Bubble Gum Butt – Means that if you swallow gum your butt falls off… meaning you have a really fat arse and you must have swallowed a lot of gum b/c your butt is about to fall off.
Watermelon belly – Means you must have eatin watermelon seeds b/c your belly is about to burst.
Doblay- double or 2
singlay – one
triplay – three
Sap – beer, pint, beverage of some choice.
I got more, but i need to get my sap on.
Soup: What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
The honest answer is that I have a calendar of Dunkin Donuts – it replaced my alter boys for the seasons calendar.
Salad: Name 3 people you speak with on a daily basis.
Pye, Myself, then Bobby… myself was formerly by the proprieter of the sidebar – one sebastiano fououljlj – but i am sober now… mostly sober.
Main Course: If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know – who would it be, what would the tattoo be of, and where would you put it on them?
It would have to be my good buddy pappy the elephant trainer…who at this moment is artificially inseminating an elephant… well – to make a long story short – pappy gets really drunk… handle of JD in 1.5 hours… and he never talks except to tell me to shut up or when he drinks. However, when he drinks only a select few people can understand him… he speaks his own language we like to call Pappinese.
therefore – i would put a big tatt across his barrelled arse chest that would say… Got Pappinese!
Dessert: What is the last beverage you drank out of a glass bottle?
a caraff of sangria… last night… by myself at salsa’s… plus another caraff… made for an interesting night.
Okay i am done spittin.
nerds
What the F Dave? You haven’t updated this thing since Friday. Everyone knows you don’t have a life so stop pretending you do, get your ass back in that chair and start writing. Some of us don’t have anything better to do than read your silly assed crap.
Shit I need a life….sigh.
The past weekend has been rather hellish, so please excuse my lack of blog activity. It’s been St. Anthony’s feast here in the North End, and it’s like New Years Eve for the Italians. I’ve been a miserable prisoner in my own apartment.