7 Reasons I Wanty Winter.

When you turn the heat up in my apartment, it smells exactly like someone cooking a grilled cheese. As I absolutely love grilled cheeses, this is one of the things that makes fall and winter my favorite time of year. I have found myself proclaiming that a lot lately, and have gotten some odd “Oooooh Pye – You’re just so cool, edgy and different” looks. So I thought I’d better make a quick list of other reasons I greatly prefer the November-March months.

1. Jackets: I routinely carry an iPod, cell phone, Altoids, wallet, keys and a camera. This can become challenging when it’s July in Boston and you’re considering leaving the apartment in shorts and your female roomate’s halfshirt.

2. Dry cleaning bills: For those of us who have to dress up for work, it’s no fun to start sweating like you’re in one of Jimmy Tango‘s vibrating heat bead suits before you even get on the MBTA. Thanks to Old Man Winter, I can now actually choose the times at which I want to sweat like a prostitute in church.

3. Obviously, the grilled cheese thing.

4. Tourist culling: Extreme cold cuts the foot traffic in this little section of Disneyland we call the North End in half. I can get where I need to go without walking down the middle of the street and then having to come to a full stop to the side whenever a car comes through. It’s getting harder and harder to resist the urge to yell “It’s not called a fucking sidestand!” every year.

5. Deep fried turkey: Amazing with pesto injected under the skin. Nice one, Jim.

6. Peripheral Sox Fans: If you’re truly a baseball nut, and used to go to games with your deceased uncle, I am not talking to you. I am referring to the legions of Boston residents with severe identity crisises who wear the hats, talk incessantly about Manny and go batshit on the subway on the way to lousy Fenway seats seemingly 6 days a week. When they were teenagers, they would have gotten a tattoo, pierced their nose or started dressing like Trent Reznor. Now they call themselves Soxgrrl78 on Match and MySpace and would rather watch Fever Pitch than Citizen Kane.

7. Hockey: I love hockey, and I love hockey fans. Walking 5 minutes from my home and being at the Garden is not a luxury I will have forever. In terms of overrunning the city, remember that Bruins fans are located mostly in the suburbs, then effectively corralled into North Station so as not to offend the rest of the populous. I mean, they get off the commuter rail, and they’re right there. But the best thing about preferring to hang out with B’s fans rather than Sox fans is that they might pave your driveway for a ride back to Stoneham.

I could go on. Just please trust me when I tell you I look forward to cold weather, and am not trying to impress anyone that doesn’t have half a grilled cheese sandwich in their breast pocket. Back to the blog development consulting. Damn it, I did it again guys.