I took Boss to the vet last Thursday to update his papers for a smooth border crossing at the end of the month. He got a rabies shot in the haunch, and some pink distemper liquid right up his snout. He shook it off pretty quickly and that was the end of it. The vet said he’d probably sneeze a bit for the rest of the day, but he didn’t. I figured that was the end of it.
He’s been sneezing non stop since Monday night. At first it was funny. He’d look off into space as the sneeze came on, open his mouth a little bit and then snap his head forward with a loud “PPHHFFFFT!” But the novelty has passed, and I’m getting worried. I have narrowed it down to two possible causes:
1. He is reacting to the fact we’ve started opening our windows. Something that is floating in on the wind is getting to him. Pollen? The new daschund puppy who moved in across the way? I don’t know.
2. He is a reincarnation of one of the many women who have Heismanned me over the years, and is now claiming she can’t visit anymore because she’s allergic to… herself.
Oh come on, Boss. If it makes you so uncomfortable that I keep the pattern for a human skin suit tacked to my bedroom wall, then just say so. Don’t use the goddamn cat hair excuse again.
Thank you for introducing me to the term Heisman. I will be sure to bring that into my regular vernacular.
Dude, funny…
Haven’t heard the Heismanned term since freshman year at UMASS circa 1994. Awesome…
By the way, come down and see me at work soon.
aYou creepy fuck. A “silence of the lambs” reference when dear Clarice is plainly suffering from the highest pollen rate in 10 years?
Rub some lotion on his skin & eat him with a a good Chianti..
hannibal