I just took a gander at the 10-day weather forecast for my favorite zip code, 02116. They are predicting rain all 10 days. Why did I move back from London again? Walking home from work late last night, I was blown around Tremont street like a rag doll – normally I have to pay good money for that, and it happens on Washington Street. My Putnam umbrella acted as a parasail as I tried to find a comfortable medium between remaining dry and being pulled straight into the grill of a utility truck.
This morning, as I walked back to the mines, devastated umbrellas lay strewn about the city – everywhere. Like scattered corpses in the wake of a holy crusade. If that comparison sounds over-dramatic, that’s because it is. But I must have counted 20 dead little soldiers between the North End and Copley. So I want to share a little secret of mine with you, faithful reader.
I have a friend, let’s call her Yuki, who works for Putnam. About two years ago she overheard me complaining of an unfortunate umbrella-blowout I’d suffered on a particularly windy walk to work. She proceeded to tell me about the Putnam umbrella (not to be confused with an escrow company), which is so well made that when it’s plastic spines are blown inside out – it can be easily popped back into it’s original state. These buggers are rugged. Rugged buggers.
I now own two, both courtesy of Yuki, and I love them. They keep all of my broad bod bone dry, and can fend off the mightiest gusts Beantown can muster. I can’t stress this enough – make friends with a Putnam employee immediately. Use them, sexually or otherwise, to get an umbrella. But get an umbrella/handjob, you must.
Dave – I am impressed – I had no idea you were into that band – they are pretty cool guys. I partied with them at The Avalon when they opened for QOTSA a while back.
Or, alternatively, you can stay inside for the next 10 days. Order all the water, beer, Doritos and chocolate chip cookie dough you can store…fire up the DVD player (Raindance Film Festival at my house anyone?) and call it a month.
Umbrellas are for chumps. Going outside…also for chumps.
Hibernation commencing now. See you in July.
I say BAH HUMBUG to your 10 day weather report! My best friend is getting married on Sunday and in an outdoor ceremony. Keeping my fingers crossed on some sun from at least 10AM to 11AM Sunday morning. After that, it can rain all damn day. Come on sunshine!!!!!
Yah – that is basically how I have handled the rain. It feels good – having an excuse to stay indoors or actually stay at work. Every night I get home it is straight into my PJ’s.
The purple dinosaur ones with the trapdoor on the back? Let’s make a fort out of the desk and some bedsheets!
Fort is still standing from last night. It is sooo cool. Tonight I am gonna make an icecream sunday and hang out in the fort – read some Berenstain Bears and “Where The Wild Things Are”.