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Barack Obama: My Reservations Explained


in Politics

Here’s something you never thought you’d read here: Senator Barack Obama seems like a very “good” man to me and I wish him the best of luck. His intent is solid, most of his propositions reasonable, he’s a charismatic speaker and his meteoric rise to popularity (and in my opinion the new President-Elect by this time tomorrow) has been nothing short of remarkable. I was asked recently when interviewed for a radio show here in Canada, “Don’t you think the individual with the most public support should be President?” I thought about it and reluctantly answered, “No.”

Should Fall Out Boy unsurp The Pixies as my favorite rock group because they’ve sold four times as many records in a quarter of the time? Had I been present at Jonestown, should I have chugged the poisonous Kool-Aid like everyone else did? Again, “No.” I have a brain in my head, my own set of values, what I like to consider a formidable amount of common sense and I won’t be spoon-fed. Ever. Regardless of how I may admire some some aspects of the man and his mission, there is no doubt in my mind that his Presidency in 2009 is a bad idea. 8 more years from now, bring him on. At the present time he’s a boy band with the support of millions of rubes who frankly shouldn’t be voting due to their completely uninformed reasons for doing so. Obama isn’t a messiah, he’s an inexplicable fad with a slick marketing department that figured out how to reach and inspire people that usually have their thumbs so far up their ass on election day that it’s tough to work the XBox controller.

I hate to simply run down a list of facts that you’ve read/heard in several hundred places before. It’s likely the last warm day of the fall, however, and I’m going to be spending most of it outside working on things that absolutely have to get done before the first freeze – and must get cracking. These are ‘facts’ by the way. Indisputable and in no way spin or a stretch. I know his record well and have been watching him for 4 years now. These are the specific reasons that I, a self-respecting, somewhat intelligent and very recent American citizen (one full year as of this Saturday) who pays a lot of attention to politics on a daily basis, 365 days a year, whether there is an election imminent or not – will not be voting for “The One”. They have nothing to do with the color of his skin, his middle name or even (believe it or not but I only consider myself a Conservative on international matters) his chosen party.

  • When a Senator is called to vote on any piece of legislature, she or he have 3 options: “Aye”, “Nay” or “Present”. When one votes the latter, they are effectively side-stepping the issue – in Obama’s case undoubtedly to avoid hurting his future chances at the White House. Sometimes Senators vote this way upon instructions from higher-ups in their party. Rarely. “Present” is an option Obama invoked nearly 130 times as a state senator. Way to lead the charge, Barack. Being the leader of a country – yes, even the most powerful one in the world – requires one trait above all others. The ability to make decisions.
  • The blatant way in which the majority of the media absolutely fawned over the man is not my opinion, it’s a fact – the percentage of Time magazine covers given to Obama vs. McCain (12 to 5) in the past year just the tip of the iceberg which sticks in my craw. Undeniable, embarrassing and offensive to anyone’s intelligence.
  • Barack Obama has never been the Governor of a state, or the Mayor of a city. Or the Mayor of a town. Was his election to the Senate based on another form of experience equal to or surpassing the aforementioned “classics”? Not even close. He was an Illinois State Senator for 8 years and a U.S. Senator for a little over 1 year before he began to focus his attention on running for President practically full time. As if this whole shit show wasn’t weird enough, his opponent for U.S. Senator from Illinois in 2005 was rocked by a sex scandal during the race allowing Obama to waltz in virtually unopposed.
  • In his younger years, and likely still to this day behind closed doors, Obama was a very religious man. It’s well documented, even on his own website. You wouldn’t have known it during the last 12 months, and that sort of strategic hypocrisy surrounding something which is obviously so important to him leaves a very bad taste in my yapper. I am not an overly religious person, but I was raised Catholic and respect other people’s religious beliefs in a way that they will never be required to respect mine. Don’t get me started on that particular double-standard. This is about Barack. He has disowned, a relative term, his faith to improve his chances for President. Faith is a “big one” to be casting aside. What other paradigm shifts in his value system is he going to be able to justify?
  • Finally, the way in which the Democratic Party – which is supposed to stand for all of the forward-thinking, progressiveness and equality that the evil empire of the Republicans does not – has cannibalized itself leaves me absolutely revolted. Barack supporters and party leaders who weighed the likelihood of the two potential Democratic candidates alike, treated Hillary Clinton the same way they now treat the reviled Sarah Palin, specifically – as if she weren’t a woman. Obama is a Black man, but he is still a man. There are many, including myself, who feel that a woman winning the Presidency or Vice-Presidency is a far more historic event. Politics is never pretty, but the way in which Clinton’s own party – which she has served for almost a decade now – left her holding the cigar in favor of Obama speaks volumes to me. The way in which Obama supporters, especially female Obama supporters, have relegated both her and Palin to less-than-scum status confuses just slightly more than it frightens me.

If you’d like to refute or rebuke anything I’ve stated here you’re more than welcome. I’d appreciate it, however, if you actually try to prove me wrong on any of these points rather than mention that McCain is old or Palin is stupid. Tell me something I haven’t heard. Prove me wrong. I’m not going to spend the next 4 years – let’s be honest… unless New York City becomes a smoking crater prior to 2012, 8 years – sniping at Barack. I wish him well and I hope he is indeed capable of the sort of change he has inspired over half the nation simply pontificating about. It’s all just words, however, and unless Obama and Biden keep a close eye on our borders, our conspiring international foes and especially approach the future of Iraq in a far more realistic fashion than the majority of their party-mates, I absolutely shudder to think what we have to look forward to. Smoking craters.

Good luck to you, sir and I wish you the best. The economy and each and every domestic issue aside for a moment – you are inheriting the helm of a country which faces innumerable outside threats both diplomatically and off the established grid. I hope that you are able to exhibit measured wisdom well beyond your experience and 47 years. More than anything else, I hope that you never discount or underestimate the reality of tangible danger to American citizens (at home and abroad) the way in which so many of your party members have – effectively driving me across the aisle 8 years ago in spite of my domestic liberal leanings. I really mean that.

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The International Green Conspiracy


in Politics

Don’t get me wrong – I mean the notion of “going green” and saving the planet is an admirable one. In certain circumstances, maybe even most circumstances, companies and businesses that do so are actually taking tangible steps to reduce their strain on the environment. A business, however, is just that. They are here to make money above all else. A business that doesn’t exist to put smiles on the faces of their sharehoders is called a ‘charity’… and never the tween shall meet.

So when an entity claims they are about to “go green” they shouldn’t just be added to a list of eco-friendly companies or to your family’s favorite places to shop. They should explain in excrutiating detail exactly what they are doing, adding, removing or changing to warrant the classification. This is a new phenomenon. Definitions and standards are vague at best. And here’s the other important thing…

“Going Green” is the single biggest marketing ploy in the history of advertising. Ploy might not be the best word. Upheavel, gimmick, scheme and several other words come to mind. Picture a boardroom full of any company’s executive management. “Alright fellows…” the hypothetical CEO in question begins, “how do we go green?”. Start there, and realize that same conversation is taking place at every company under the sun that isn’t already making hemp ice cream. They don’t care how they reach the new holy grail of advertising lingo, even if it’s a square peg in a round hole. Just as long as they do.

I am so sick and tired of hearing about companies “going green” that I felt compelled to point the potential deceptions out to anyone who hadn’t already figured it out for themselves. Again, the notion is a wonderful, admirable thing. But take these claims with a grain of salt. Otherwise you and several thousand other lemmings will end up patronizing green whaling vessel repairmen and environmentally-friendly strip mining operations. Remember, the color green is also frequently associated with naivety – and you may well end up being the silly goose that “goes” there.

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Rhubard and Shepherd are Almost a Year Old!


in Animalistic

Rhubarb and Shepherd were born in late November, 2007 in Kingston Ontario. But their first birthday party will be held the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving in Boston, MA. If you’re a family friend we’d love for you to come and join us as myself and Shepherd (obviously) will both be in town and anxious to see people.

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The party is VERY kid-friendly so snacks, juice and gift bags will be available. However it’s still a Pye Party, so beer and wine will be flowing long after the children have left and probably long before they’ve left to be fair. Help us celebrate this special day and prime your pumps for the big holiday at the same time.

Presents for the pooches are welcomed and encouraged! Sweaters, treats, toys and anything else you may dream up are all great ideas. And if anyone can dig up the Dog Indiana Jones Costume that was sold out everywhere I looked online – Shep really had his hopes up for that one. Hope to see you there, and that nobody calls the ASPCA! If you would like to come, send me an email or Facebook message where there is also an Event page for the evening.

Signed: Dave and Janet – Proud siblings and parents of siblings (No, this party isn’t actually taking place in Kentucky).

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Crazy Fall Follies, Part 2


in Travels

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll continue…

Sunday we all picked up and drove back to our respective homes. The departure was anything but early and I got back to Portland, to an extremely psyched puppy, by about 10pm. It was great to be home, but the odyssey wasn’t quite over. I was supposed to drive to Michigan to Mike and Kelly’s wedding the following Friday, but I bowed out and the couple were very cool about it. It was just too far, too soon. I really, really wanted to be there, but I was shattered. I also had something else I really needed to get done which I moved up to that weekend.

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Gratuitous recent photo of Shep and Bella. Because I can.

Reiner is my first cousin and although I hadn’t seen him in 4 years, we’ve remained very close. It’s one of those relationships where you don’t really have to work hard to maintain it – it just is. It’s a family thing, after all. Reiner had been home from Spain for nearly 3 weeks by the time I finally got to see him. The deal was thus – “I drive to Hamilton and pick you up, take you to Burlington, you help move me out of my uber-expensive storage locker there and then drive a UHaul back to Portland while I’m in my car in front of you. In return I build you a 3d graphic designer (pause for the cause) website, entertain you in the country for a few days, drive you back to Hamilton and to top it off you get a 60 gig iPod“. Pretty good arrangement if I do say so myself.

We had a blast in the process – it was insanely good to see him and was like no time had passed. I hope to go visit him in Spain, maybe for a sort of spring break, and he has promised to come back to Canada about every six months to see his family. Our eventual return to Hamilton – after two long car rides spent listening primarily to the Magnetic Fields , Beta Band and Joy Division – was timed perfectly with Canadian Thanksgiving! We rolled in on the Thursday and stayed up until 3am with his parents (my Aunt Susan and Uncle Heinz) drinking, smoking and talking on their back deck. Yes, the extended Pye family likes to smoke. It’s like being in a Hemingway novel most of the time.

The late night conversation got pretty emotional, as we discussed my father and several other extremely juicy tidbits of family history I had absolutely no clue existed. In addition to stories about my father specifically, which knocked my socks off on a couple of occasions, I learned the truth about his father and uncles – who apparently ran the rackets in Hamilton during the 20’s/30’s and shipped rum and whiskey down to the USA during prohibition. They were all very large men and two-fisted drinkers and gamblers the lot. I also learned that my father’s mother’s father – who I’d always thought of as my “British Grandfather”, was actually born in Ireland. This brings my family ancestry, with the exception of my mother’s father Jimmy who was Scottish, to almost 100% Irish. As recently as 3 years ago I was under the impression that I was primarily Scotch/English. In reality… I think I’m a mick! My House of Pain and Pogues obsessions make perfect sense now! I need to call Kent.

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“Thanks, but we’re set. We have 3 prostitutes back at the house.”

Friday night we went to Toronto to hit a birthday party. I managed to convince the illustrious JV to come with us, and we spent most of the night being silly and having fun. He actually said to me at one point, “Dave, stop making jokes about that girl – she’s gonna hear you. We’re too old for this shit.” I was momentarily concerned. The king of the ball-busters is telling me to lay off my brilliant “she has knees like fucking Bill Laimbeer” jokes because we’re adults? I immediately asked if his wife Amy was pregnant – and she isn’t. So what was afoot? My fears about Jason suddenly turning into Danny Glover were thankfully dashed half-an-hour later when he tuned his back to a guy and girl who were totally smushing me against the wall for no reason and walked backwards, imitating their drunk conversation until he has pushed them about 3 feet away from me. “Hey man! You’re an asshole,” they screamed. “I know” he replied. And all was right with the world.

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Reiner and Dave kept their Uncle Richard in stitches. And concerned for his safety.

Saturday was the big family dinner at Aunt Susan’s and we arrived around 2pm strapped with our assigned foodstuffs – 6 bottles of red, pumpkin and bumbleberry pie, olive oil mayo, salad fixings and 2 cases of beer. I hooked up my PS3 for the kiddies – OK, me and Reiner – and slowly the family started to arrive. Aunt Rose, Uncle Richard, Kathy, Erynn, Chris and my “little” cousins Thomas, Christopher, Seth and Jakob were also on hand. It was a wonderful afternoon and I really needed it. Everyone asked about Gordo, and even more stories I hadn’t heard emerged. Particularly from Dad’s older brother Richard, with whom he shared a bedroom for many years. I think I will have to save them all for a separate post. Anyhew, the food was delicious, the laughs long and hard and we ended the evening with a viewing of the woefully underrated and insanely hilarious StepBrothers .

Sunday we drove back to Portland after picking up a friend’s Grandparents on the way back. Grandma started telling me a story about World War 2 (they are Latvian) and paused before admitting that she talks a lot. I said if you’re going to talk about history and specifically WW2, feel free to talk my ear off. I heard tales of Nazis fighting Russians in the fields of her father’s farm while they hid and watched, and was thoroughly engrossed as she continued to describe their desperate flight to England and then finally Canada in 1956. It made the 4 hour trip go so much faster, and she even brought sandwiches and cookies!

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“One last shot of Jaegar and I’m cannonballing into the lake.”

That evening my Mother and I were invited to the Abele’s house for another round of incredible food. Turkey was once again the order of the day, and the Eastern European influences to the meal made the bird seem like a completely fresh notion. The awesome view of the Big Rideau in the background didn’t hurt, and they even had us back the next day for lamb. But much was to transpire before Monday, and it was to get a little bit crazy before my 7-week odyssey finally drew to a close.

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“This will almost make up for all the errant charges to our credit cards over the summer.”

Vilis got a call around 8:30pm which saw the local bar, which is part of a marina and closes for the winter, inviting us all down to help polish off the perishable liquor stock. We thought about taking the boat but finally decided to scoot over in the Charger where we met Dawson, Shane and a bunch of my other new local friends. After polishing off a few half-finished bottles of wine, Vilis decided to invite the whole lot of us, staff included, for a bonfire on his soon to be developed 36 acres of beautiful property – which happens to be around the corner from my house – and the night went late. Very, very late. When I finally crawled back to their house for lamb around 2:30 Monday afternoon – I wanted to take my own life with baby laxatives. What a capper to a truly exhausting, enjoyable, heart-warming and necessary month-and-a-half long journey.

tgx

Throwing the can of boat gas on the lit match was a bad idea. But sometimes, bad ideas work.

This last weekend was the first in 7 weeks that I was actually at home, and it was lovely. However the dock still needs to come out of the lake, the boat has to be winterized – as does the Winchester. I have my work cut out for me for a while yet. But I’ll be home, and that’s always time well spent. Even if I’m up to my waist in freezing lake water with one foot cut to ribbons by zebra mussels. It’s my lake. They’re my zebra mussels. And it’s Oktoberfest Night at the cove this Saturday. I’ll raise a stein and be just fine. I’d better start resting up for American Thanksgiving as I plan to drive down to Boston again to partake. Will it ever end? No – and I thank Christ for that, everyday. Friends and family are why I get out of bed in the morning.

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Crazy Fall Follies, Part 1


in Travels

September was a bastard, and I’m here to put into words a few of the reasons I have been remiss in posting for the longest time, ever. Wow. I am looking at these front page post dates and it’s embarrassing. To the folks that still check this everyday, hanging on my silly words – I apologize, and I will be doing better. A quick note: One of the things that has challenged me since upgrading my blog software is that the awesome little plugin which copies Facebook galleries and captions to this site no longer works, so I will link to public versions of said galleries on FB where applicable. So, will this juicy, super-long ultra update with photos make up for 3 weeks of silence? You be the judge. Judge Judy, preferably as she is my favorite.

peterborough-wedding
Yes, we all prayed for Stilts.

The first weekend of last month my friend Mike got married near Peterborough, Ontario. I was a groomsman and my fellow groom attendees were two guys, Paul and P-Nut, I hadn’t seen since the Guelph days. The bride gave me a lovely engraved silver business card holder and the wedding itself was lovely. The reception was held at the father of the bride’s farm and the sprawling home with several additions over the years made for a great location. I spent a good portion of the night chatting with a room full of seniors about the good old days, and told them I wish I had been born in their time. Then, I remembered I wouldn’t have had the internet and quickly switched the subject to Benny Goodman.

perth-wedding
“Don’t worry, ladies. No one who sees this will think we’re all sleeping together. Not until I tell them that, anyway.”

The following weekend I was asked to accompany a lovely friend of mine to her friend’s wedding reception at another private home in Perth. “Really? You mean, we don’t have to go to the ceremony? Just straight to the food and liquor?” It was a great time, my favorite memory having to be making fun of some jerk on the dance floor who unbuttoned his shirt (all the way) and was hitting on a bridesmaid at least 10 years his junior. I unbuttoned my own shirt, as did my friend’s brother, and we grinded away with our respective dates behind his back as the silly clown continued, oblivious. We had quite a fond audience by the end of our display and I in no way felt ridiculously immature.

danvers-wedding-photos
“You’re looking at this the wrong way, guys. For example, if I come on the Honeymoon with you I’ll pay for 1/3 of the hotel room.”

The next Thursday morning I pulled out of Portland at the ass crack of dawn and was parking at the Peabody Marriott by 4pm. I scarcely had time to check into my room and drop off my suitcase before the bride-to-be was dragging me to the rehearsal dinner. My very good, old friend PJ is married to one of the Bridesmaids, and between that night, the wedding and a bar bender in Boston that Saturday – I got to spend 3 whole nights with him, and there was much rejoicing. I also had a great time with Jen, Becky, Scott, Dan, Chris, Amy and many other Concord friends whom I don’t get to see often enough. Megan and Mark got married at the Danvers Yacht club, and the day was a doozy. Pictures

silvertone-party
P.J. did NOT approve. And Jim didn’t feel a thing.

Saturday morning I drove to the city and parked in the old Brinks Building (yes, that Brinks building) which is now a parking garage. I walked through driving rain through the North End to Matt and Lauren’s house and was immediately put to work carrying tables from the Nazarro center to NEMPAC. Just like old times! Although we were doused, Griffin and I had a joyous reunion and were back to our favorite mutual passtime… in no time. That evening I had arranged to meet a big whack of my friends at Silvertone, and that just got silly. I ended the evening screaming obscenities back at the husband of a woman I walked home, and spent most of Sunday lying in M & L’s guest bedroom, head in hands, while Griffin rocked through levels of Indiana Jones and the Emperor’s Tomb. Which is kind of appropriate, as I was simultaneously praying for death. Pictures

west-acton-pictures
“It’s been a long time, boys. Now who just grabbed my ass?”

I spent the week working out of the offices of my favorite Boston Web Designer (pause for the cause) company in Wellseley. Wednesday I drove all over the state visiting clients, and Thursday we had our first off-site company meeting at the Weston Golf Club. Wow – what a cool place. I spent the evenings at Chris and Amy’s in West Acton, and we had several impromptu weeknight gatherings which were spontaneous and awesome. I got to hang out with Chris, Kelly, Jenny, Killer, TKO, Carina and Ryan. We also recorded two episodes of our Goonblog hockey podcast, the first of which I finished editing and posted Sunday night, so be sure to have a listen. Funny stuff. Pictures

Friday I was back at Matt and Lauren’s in the North End and a few friends stayed in and watched the first Presidential debate whilst gingerly working on a couple six packs of Harpoon. I think we were all still a little delicate from the previous Saturday, and it was just what the doctor ordered. Old friends met new friends, we had a lovely breakfast Saturday at the North Street Grill (Nutella/Banana Sliders, anyone?) and we set off to Boston Wedding #2 around 1pm. Back to, you guessed it, the Peabody Marriott. What are the chances?

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“Are we on our way to a wedding or a fucking swim meet? Regardless, BACKSEAT!”

My old Vermont Academy friend, Wardy, was married later that day at a lovely estate somewhere in the MA countryside. The name escapes me, but the fact that they closed the bar at 9pm does not. The groom and best man were beyond pissed-off, but we had a great time while it lasted and continued the festivities back at the hotel until the very wee hours when security finally kicked us all out of Kim’s room. I had not seen Gaston, Ezio or Roller in 15 years, and it was also great to spend time with Carolyn (bride) Pritch (best man), Harriett (mother of the groom) Ron and others. Pictures (coming soon).

I’ll break down the rest of September/early October tomorrow, and if – after reading – you choose to let me off the hook for lack of posting I’ll be forever in your debts. It’s been a crazy fall so far. Until then.

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Shepherd Goes Bananas


in Uncategorized

I know you’ve heard this song and dance before. I swear my technical issues are almost over with and there is a new design, level of functionality and increased activity all on the horizon for Pye in the Face. In the meantime…

The first time Shep and I were apart for any length of time, it was 3 days. And he went absolutely apeshit when I got home. Upon getting back from my recent 10-day trip to Boston, I realized he’d do the same again, and very likely to a much crazier degree. So, as I entered the house on Sunday night, I made sure I had the video rolling. The above is the result. Enjoy, and I’ll be back up and running 100% very soon.

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Resuscitate Guelph University’s Bullring!


in Uncategorized

Calling all Gryphons, inebriates, b-boys and speaker-dancers… We need the old Bullring faithful. We need your magic.

herb-bullringIt has been literal eons since the heydays of the almighty Bullring. None of us who were there, however, will ever forget them. The sticky floors, lukewarm draft beer, neon signs, human blood and 90’s hiphop have since been replaced by a regular cleaning schedule, Columbian coffee, vegetarian omelets and the Indigo Girls. It’s high time we banded together and helped that old, round building of dreams recapture its former glory. Children of the 70s, 80s and 90s – Help us resuscitate the RING! If only for one, fleeting evening.

A half-baked scheme which endeavors to bring the wonder and frivolity of the Bullring back for one night is underway, and the architects of the plot are interested to know if anyone will be there to join us. So please ask yourself – If a small team of former Bullring fans, fanatics and employees somehow managed to revive the magic for a single night – would you attend the party? Would you dig out your old Ring paraphernalia, hail a Red Top Taxi and head up the hill to the greatest on-campus bash since the old girl closed her doors as a nightclub nearly a decade ago?

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If we get a decent response the wheels of fortune will be set in motion and we’ll do our best to convince the current owners to abandon the vanilla chai and biscotti long enough for us to bring Biggie and Tupac back for one more enchanted evening – most likely during Homecoming 2009. We also envision a cover charge to both keep out the tourists and also make it all worth the CSA’s time. They will be our greatest hurdle in putting this together.

You can also look forward to a new selection of Bullring gear – caps, toques, t-shirts – to commemorate the occasion and help you fly your Guelph colors as we descend further and further into the horrors of adulthood. Also coming soon will be perhaps the only existing video of a night at the ring, recorded by yours truly and various staff members the last night of exams, Spring 1998. And no – there are no clips of the infamous Hot Tub Party of 97. And thank Christ for that.

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The road will be a long one, so we’d better get started soon. Please join and leave your name in the discussion thread on the Bullring Facebook Group – as a petition of sorts – and we’ll keep you posted.

Wish us luck. If luck be with us – we’ll see you there this time next year.

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Another Day in Paradiso


in Uncategorized

I’m currently sitting in my favorite North End coffee shop working away, and this afternoon I’ll head to my company’s office out in Wellesley. Megan’s wedding Friday night was a lot of fun, as was the One Shot at Pye party at Silvertone. I’ll save all the sordid details until I have the weekend’s many photos posted – but it was a doozy.

I also got to spend a lot of quality time with my little buddy Griffin, who you may remember from the Hissy the Roach posts from a few years back. We played video games, ate chocolate and watched funny puppy and kitty YouTube videos. I’ve really missed her and there was no better way to spend Sunday.

Wednesday I’m spending the whole day visiting clients, starting with my favorite replacement windows manufacturer in Woburn. Then it’s on to Weymouth and I’ll finish up in the Peabody area around 6pm. It’ll be a long one, but these folks haven’t seen me in many moons and it gots to be done. It’s nice having my car here, although I’ve already spent $50 on parking and will be hit up for an additional $25 when I get the car in a half hour to drive to the office. Better than an $800 Air Canada ticket, at any rate. Frigging pirates.

Speaking of the charga, the drive down Thursday was no big deal and I’m surprised I didn’t attempt it sooner. I made it in 8 hours, was checking in to the Peabody Marriott by 4pm and spent most of the trip listening to a great audiobook that I will write about in greater detail at a later date. It may change my life (work-wise and personal) and I have to share.

On with the day. One more Paradiso macchiato and I’m hitting the road. I could definitely live in Boston again some day, but we’ll have to see how the cookie crumbles. I surely feel comfortable in this city and have spent enough time here (almost 2/3 of my life) to be considered an honorary Masshole. And believe me, it is an honor. Now go feck yourself, kid.

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Back to the Bean Once Again.


in Boston, Travels

It’s been over 7 months since I last graced the streets of Boston. That’s very, very hard to believe. With the exception of my 1.75 years spent living in England that’s the longest I’ve been away from the cradle of the revolution in 21 years. I’ve been so bogged down with my month of 5 weddings, work and dealing with family issues that I haven’t really had time to be excited – or apprehensive. Shall I break it down for the blog? Yesh? Then let’s begin.

Looking forward to:

  • Seeing my friends. I have organized, via Facebook (evite who?), a night out at a downtown bar for the only weekend night that I am free (not at a wedding) while I am in Boston. If they come, they come. But really I’ll only need a few key players to show up for it to be what I “need” as a Kaczynski-esque forest dweller on shore leave.
  • Seeing my little North End posse. Comprised of my friends’ children – namely Griffin, Maya, Lorenzo and Bella – I’ve missed these little guys and our Thursday night pizza/PS2 outings.
  • The North End Coffee tour. Weekday mornings spent at Paradiso, Beanstock, Villagio and other neighborhood bean water vendors, usually with Matt, Louis and others.
  • Work stuff. There are lots of new members of my Boston web design company (a quick pause for the cause) whom I have yet to meet in person. I look forward to a full week of office time, collaboration and several visits I have scheduled with clients in the area. I hope to do a lot of good in a short period of time.
  • New England Fall. My favorite season, and my favorite place to spend it. I plan to come down for American Thanksgiving this year as well, so it’ll be a nice double-dose of awesome Autumness.

Dreading:

  • Leaving my babies at a kennel. The breeder (who is awesome) said she would have taken them for the 4 days before my Mother and Sister get back to town, but she is renovating her entire ground floor and is having trouble caring for her own dogs at the time being. I have them scheduled for a last-minute kennel-cough vaccination tomorrow morning, and will be taking them to a vet recommended mom and pop operated place tomorrow night.
  • The drive. I have made the Canada – Boston run so many times in my life that I could do it in my sleep. But at the end of the day it’s 8 hours alone in a car each way. To prepare I have downloaded some new albums and audio books onto my iPod. I am curious to see if the books will keep my attention and maybe, just maybe, make the trip go a bit faster. I have everything from the newest Harry Potter to 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ready to go.
  • Sacrificing tangible, billable work time for face time with clients and my own company. I’m going to make sure I have some things outsourced so I’m not miles behind when I get back home on the 29th. About 313 miles, to be exact.

All things considered, I’m quite excited to see my peoples and walk the streets of my old hood. If you’re in the right mood, well rested and in possession of some phat tunes a long drive can go by fairly quickly. The blog will have a strong Boston theme over the next 10 days, lots of pictures from my new camera included, so get your beanpots out, find someone named “Sully” to sit next to and stay tuned.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: Breakin’ Atoms


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Appetizer: When you drink soda, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
Cutting to the heart of the big issues again are we, quizzlet? That would depend on whether the cup was styrofoam, plastic or paper. And whether or not my other OCD symptoms had allowed me to leave the house after turning the lights on and off 33 times and checking to make sure the oven was off another 27.

Soup: What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
The First 48 and, obviously, Saturday Night Live – in which I still take great pleasure and have the utmost faith. It premieres tomorrow night with Mighty Mike Phelps hosting and Little Wayne as the musical guest/criminal. I imagine they’ll compare tattoo tears to gold medals. And if Tina Fey doesn’t literally fall over herself on the way to 30 Rock to play Sarah Palin in an opening scene cameo, I will eat my puppy. I will also be extremely impressed by her snark restraint – at which she’s not very adept.

Salad: Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
If I were English I’d have already used the word 17 times today. Since I’m not I’ll give you one of each – The people who invented that atom smasher whatsit that is probably already letting giant squirrels in from a parallel dimension, the end of my dock, my new tennis racket / bug zapper thing. I take it with me when I let Shep out at night, and just stand by the front light while he does his business, culling the herd.

Main Course: Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
No, because I work from home. But my mother is willing to drive so far out of her way to get to a pump that will save her 3 cents a gallon – she uses more than what she’d save getting there. She is also willing to talk about where to go to get the lowest gas prices, which never vary around here by more than 3 cents, until my fucking ears start to bleed. The next time I think about gas it will be because I’ve just doused my head in it and am looking around for the BBQ igniter.

Dessert: If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
Super Dave. I just hope that the moniker is available. I’d further my originality by wearing costumes only made from genuine Saskatchewan seal skin.

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Calling All Family Tree Huggers


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Perhaps it’s my family health issues – who am I kidding… that’s exactly what it is – but I’ve felt a very strong desire recently to research and document a family tree of sorts. I’d like to use an online tool that allows multiple members of a family to have their own logins but be able to collaborate on the same tree.

I just saw an ad on TV for Ancestry.com, and it looks very impressive. I have had several others mentioned to me recently, and am a little unsure as to where I should invest my time and that of a few Aunts and Uncles on my Father’s side of the tree, and my own Mother on hers. On a related note, her second round of chemo was completed a little over a week ago, her prognosis is excellent and it looks like she’ll be around long enough to help me with this project – and very far beyond. Way to go, Bonnie.

Does anyone have eny experience with Ancestry.com, Rootsweb.com, Geneaology.com or any of the apparently wide range of family history/tree sites available? I’d appreciate the input.

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Wednesday Wadio: Everlast’s “Folsom Prison Blues”


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The first thing I thought when I first saw this last night was “Oh, the balls on this guy!” The introduction is a sample of Johnny himself referring to someone (in this instance meant to be Everlast) as “…one of the greatest entertainers I’ve ever seen”. As the song continues and the mix of acoustic and electric guitars, organ, sampled drums and an old Cypress Hill hook started to make sense that changed quickly to “This actually isn’t half bad.” Has Erik Schrody successfully pulled off a Johnny Cash cover using a high-pitched squeal and DJ Muggs from Cypress Hill itself? You be the judge.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4eAHsaq-0[/youtube]

“I never saw anything like it…” – Johnny Cash

The video doesn’t get any less cheeky as it superimposes archival footage of Cash performing with Schrody, the two even exchanging winks and glances. Think the video for Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” minus the Fonz. All the members of Everlast‘s band smile, wink and dance along and the mood is meant to imply mutual respect between Johnny and Erik. Does he consider himself Cash’s heir-apparent. I doubt it, and you have to take the spectacle with the good nature it was intended – but still. The balls on this guy!

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYZ40p8H2Kk[/youtube]

Schrody’s the man with the master plan.

Covering Cash is a risky business. It’s akin to belching in church to many music fans. Schrody has never been timid or self conscious though and I’m not entirely shocked that he went for this. His re-inventions – from West Coast GQ rapper rolling with Ice-T’s syndicate posse to Hell’s Kitchen Irish Hoodlum to country-rock troubador – have amazed me every time. Not because they’ve been so drastic, but because they’ve been so incredibly successful.

“Jump Around” made Everlast, DJ Lethal and Danny Boy very rich men when it dropped in 1992 and their follow up House of Pain album sold quite a few copies as well. The third one, not so much. When he re-appeared 3 years later in 1999 with Whitey Ford Sings the Blues no one had any idea that “What It’s Like” would become a mega-hit going platinum and winning him several Grammys that year. Not to mention his contribution to Santana’s Supernatural album, “Put Your Lights On” which helped Carlos sell about a bazillion copies that same year.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffCz1uCn2-Y[/youtube]

If you’ve never seen this before – you’ll be speechless.

So is “Folsom Prison Blues” a clever cover or a disrespectful piece of crap? I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions as I know there are likely to be many when this video gets more and more airplay and the album “Love, War and the Ghost of Whitey Ford” is released later this month. Me? I like it and am looking forward to blaring it in my car later this afternoon. That will be the true test. I think he can take it, so let Everlast have it in the comments below.

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