Emma Watson on the set of next year’s blockbuster: Harry Potter and the Chalice of the Vanishing Hymen.
George Clooney Is Not Cary Grant.
The George Clooney kudos crescendo is caving my head in. 10 years ago he was a regular on Roseanne, lest we forget. Jake Gyllenhal had to play tongue-hockey with another stinky man repeatedly for his nomination, and what did he get? Sure, Clooney had his fingernails pulled out with pliers, but I actually really enjoyed that scene. Most folks probably cringed watching the torture, but I stood up on a chair and cheered: “That’s for Return of the Killer Tomatoes, ya bastard.” And quite possibly for this.
“Actually, it would probably be easier if I just said ‘Anyone who wasn’t in Crash please stand up’.” – Jon Stewart
I wanted Munich to win, because it actually deserved to, but had no pipe dreams about that happening. I cashed in my chips and went downstairs to watch Life on Mars long before the Oscars had ended. I fully expected to see Brokeback on the front page of CNN this morning, so imagine my surprise. Crash is an OK movie, but I think the Academy really lost the PC plot this year. If you’re on the fence about that last statement, you need only be reminded of Stewart’s most prolific joke of the evening:
“Once again, for those of you who are keeping score: Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars. Three-Six-Mafia, one.”
Alright, So I Might Have Lied.
Yes, it’s another Squidoo-related post. Some fellow lensmasters and I are starting our own related site called SquidooItYourself. I launched it today, and want to get it spidered… So here we are.
I honestly believe that Squidoo is going to be enormous, in case you haven’t noticed. This site will be an objective 3rd party source of external news and tips, and it’s the first of its kind. If you think I’m crazy, you might not get a ride on my cigarrette boat in 2 years. So just watch it, buddy.
Friday’s Quizzlet: Meming Out Justice.
Kids, you’ve heard me talk about memes a time or two. Friday’s Quizzlet is a meme I get from an external source and I use it as a catalyst for material on dreary Friday mornings. I grow tired of it from time to time, and would also like to foster a little reader participation this week – so I’m going with more of a bullet-point quiz that I hope you’ll enjoy and take for a spin yourself. I stole it from The Duck, and God only knows where she dug it up.
What is your name?: They call me Pye.
What is your astrological sign?: Sagittarius
What time did you get up this morning?: 9:00 am.
Favorite toothpaste: Some sort of Crest. I’m in and out of CVS in a flash.
Oprah or Dr. Phil?: Heterosexual.
What was your prom theme?: I have no idea. But based on all recollection, probably something from Ritual de lo Habitual.
3 Favorite Movies to Watch Hungover: Whatever’s playing on TV in the Emergency Room at MGH.
Wax, pluck or shave: I pluck my eyebrows in the middle a wee bit and do a little ‘dirty lawn’ maintenance.
If free plastic surgery existed, what would you consider?: Contrary to what you read on here sometimes – I’m quite fond of myself. Nothing.
How do you take your coffee?: Cream and sugar if I’m out, black at home.
Favorite song in 6th Grade?: Pale Shelter by Tears for Fears.
Name Three Guilty Pleasures: The only question I’ve had trouble answering. I feel guilty enough about beer sometimes for all 3 spots. Sorry, Walla.
Who would you cast as you in the film adaptation of your life?: Vaughn, Fraser or Livingston – in that order.
If you could choose it, your last meal would consist of: Greek food, but I’d have no idea it was my last. As long as I stay out of the drug trade, I won’t.
Age you lost your virginity: TMI. Far too young.
Is there any accessory you wear every day?: My Bruins charity bracelet.
Favorite Vacation Ever: South Africa for scenery, Australia for fun.
Current Celebrity Crush: Rachel Weisz.
Favorite Book as a Child: John Christopher’s Tripod series. Now that I’m older and I know better, I liked it more when it was called War of the Worlds.
Where Were You on Your 21st Birthday?: The Brass Taps in Guelph. I’d been of age for 2 years. Big whoop. Here’s an actual photo from that night.
Side, stomach or back?: All three, repeatedly, incessantly, please crush up some Ambien so I can snort it immediately.
Your Most Overused Phrase or Word: ‘Comprehensively.’ At work. At home, it’s ‘Nate, lower your voice, it’s only basketball‘.
Congratulations Meredith & Seamus!
I just got a crazy little text message from Hartford to tell me the great news! Seamus and Meredith are engaged, and licensed event halls everywhere are lining up to bid on the reception. Way to go guys – here’s to a great life together.
New Pornographers/Belle & Sebastian @ Avalon, Boston.
At one point during the concert tonight, I turned to the group of friends and siblings I was with and made the uproariously hilarious remark: “Hi, I’m the Boston Fire Inspector. Thanks a lot for not inviting me?” The February 28th Belle and Sebastian show at Avalon in Boston (just a pause for the search engines here, folks) was grossly oversold, and I’d like to sarcastically thank the powers that be for jamming us in there like branded cattle. I’ve seen about 800 shows there since 1988 – including packed houses like Coldplay and the Pixies, and I’ve never been welfarically uncomfortable before. I could actually see the panic attacks taking place on the faces of the people around me. Especially when New Pornographers covered “Once Bitten, Twice Shy“. All horribly tasteless jokes aside, that was a real pain in the ass you money grubbing Landsdowne fucks.
The NP‘s were great, and I’m adding their new song Bones of an Idol to the Wadio right now so have a listen on your left. I’ve spun it 8 times already today – it’s awesome. They’re from Vancouver, and have developed a huge ex-pat following a la the Hip here in Boston. I saw tons of Maple Leafs being rocked on hats, scarves and jackets last night. They use two keyboards, a mouth organ and male/female vocal mix that’s about 50/50. A pulsing, unique sound that I’m going to be delving into deeply over the next few weeks. Super band.
Belle and Sebastian sounded amazing, despite the fact we eventually retreated to one of Avalon’s back corners when the crowds began to surge forward. One thing about hipster crowds – they don’t brush their teeth and fart uncontrollably. I have to chalk it up to all the cheap food available in Davis square, or the fact that sometimes they’re forced to eat Decemberist records when their student loans run out. Either way, it was like a focus group for Crest and Gas-X and I gladly hid in the back, hence my completely awful pictures. Not to mention I was asked to stop taking photos by a 4-foot tall bouncer who also smelt like he’d been eating aquarium scum.
I thoroughly enjoyed Stuart’s silly dancing, and the horns sounded perfect. Judy and the Dream of Horses and Seeing Other People were the highlights for me, although Stu forgot the first verse of the latter. These guys are a tight, tight outfit. The tour has just started, and here’s a list of the dates lest you wish to venture out. Just remember to wear fire retardent clothing and to spread Vaporub under your nostrils like Clarice Starling.
The Dulcet Tones Of Scotland’s Finest.
“Belle and Sebastian are not snogging. Sometimes they hold hands, but that is only a display of public solidarity. Sebastian thinks Belle ‘kicks with the other foot’. Sebastian is wrong, but then Sebastian can never see further than the next tragic ballad. It is lucky that Belle had a popular taste in music. She is the cheese to his dill pickle.” – Jeepster.
It’s just sort of dawned on me that I’m going to see Belle and Sebastian tonight with the New Pornographers opening up. I kind of want to go to the bathroom and rub myself. Something had to fill the gaping void that Big Country left in my life. My new camera will be making the trip (to the concert, not the bathroom), as will Nate, Tom, Janet etc – and I’ll be sure to post some wacky related concert photos tomorrow.
I started listening to this band in early 1998 while I lived in England. Moynihan reccomended them to me over this new technology we’d discovered called e-mail. I ran down to HMV in Maidenhead and picked up the then just released ‘The Boy With the Arab Strap’ before quickly moving on to ‘Tigermilk‘. That CD would go on to join the Verve’s Urban Hymns as the Hinds Head lockin CD, and it was a glorious time to be a 24-year-old. Pisshead.
My excitement over this band has been somewhat muted by age and time, but 7 years ago I would have burned off my own pubic hair with a magnifying glass to get a ticket. I have to get in touch with that young fanboy lad tonight and properly soak in the magnitude of the moment. But definitely try and talk him out of the whole pubic hair thing.
Bonnie Bounces Back.
I’ve felt like I’ve hit a plateau lately. Head first from about 20 feet in the air. Dropped by the ankles. If I were a pool of water, I’d be so stagnant there’d be more tadpoles swimming around in me than in Paris Hilton’s hair. Things can go from so exciting, to so stressful and stupid, so very quickly. Something big is about to happen – I’m just not sure what it is yet. And then there’s that little thing called perspective that comes knocking…
But if I may be allowed to put down my own violin for a moment, my mother called me yesterday to let me know that her post-chemo tests are completely negative. She had a long painful summer, the extent of which I cannot imagine. Although I keep this site fairly impersonal, I know there’s a lot of readers who will want to hear that news. Way to go, Mom. We love you. And I’m not just saying this because I’m moving into the trailer with you next week.
I Like The Vodka Sauce.
I have had penne with vodka sauce a few times recently here in the North End. Last night at Assagio’s, for example. It’s gosh darn tasty, and I found myself wondering what the heck it actually is after a few forkfulls. It doesn’t sound especially good. I mean, vodka’s great and everything, but in your red sauce? Here’s what I discovered…
Apparently it’s quite common. I found a ton of recipies – ranging from ham to salmon – and it’s no misnomer. You actually have to fire in a whack of vodka while you’re reducing the sauce. Usually 1-2 ounces. It’s usually creamy, and always ridiculously tasty. Did Russian troops occupy Italy at the end of WWII and run out of chicken stock? I simply don’t know.
Hey Dave, You Haven’t Mentioned Squidoo In 5 Minutes.
The Sopranos DVDs are some of the best selling in history, so it’s only fitting that I build a lens around them and make a play for some affiliate revenue. Actually, it was my coworker Sean who suggested it over a pint at the PushCart last night. I went home and built the Bada Bing, and it’s one of my best yet, if I do say so myself. I might as well – no one else is going to. I’m really running the risk at this point of never sleeping with a woman again, and believe me, friends – I fully realize this.
Again, I’m not so much bragging about the fact that I make websites so much as I’m trying to get new sites indexed by search engines. I have more spiders crawling on this site than William Shatner at the end of that really creepy movie I hope I never accidentally find on TV and watch all the way through again. Is that better than the River Phoenix joke from last week? Or just a little more tasteful?
I’m going for a steak tonight, and I’m excited. Why do you people read this fucking thing?
Wednesday Wadio: The Tragically Hip’s ‘Nautical Disaster’.
“This is a success story that is unique unto itself, its country, and most definitely its band“. – Matt Sheardown.
Yes, I know it’s Friday. Many of you have have read me rant about this band over the years, and I’ve even dragged a few of you to their concerts with me. I wrote a decent piece about Gord Downie a few years ago, which is down for some reason – I’ll have to repost it from my desktop backup at home – but this article that Nate just sent me is truly amazing. It’s a comprehensive history of the band, written with painstaking detail and a lot of love.
“The music, though consistently solid, only tells us half the story of The Tragically Hip. Bands rarely become legends on music alone: The Beatles had LSD and Yoko Ono, The Stones had Keith Richards and Altamont, Nirvana had suicide and MTV Unplugged, and so on and so forth. The Tragically Hip have Gord Downie, and because of Gord Downie, The Tragically Hip have one of the most memorable live performance reputations this side of the 49th parallel. Sure, the sound is spot on, and the instruments rarely miss a step, but you can only hear them. The show isn’t in the instruments.”
The article’s author, Matt Sheardown, goes on to explicate his favorite Hip songs at the end of the article, and chooses 1994’s Nautical Disaster to bestow the following praise: For my money, the single greatest song the band has ever made. The lyrics are sung paragraphs, and the memories they drum up are so vivid in their unsettling nature. Brilliant from start to finish. Since Matt’s article inspired me to feature the Tragically Hip this week, I figured I’d abide by his opinion and use his favorite tune.
The Hip are proponents of all things Canadian, and their lyrics and themes often delve into obscure references that only select senior citizens in Manitoba may ‘get’ – but are important and fascinating all the same. Hip concerts around the world are flocked to by ex-pats, and they could sell out the largest venue in Toronto more nights in a row than any major act going. I’m talking to you, Jagger. Nautical Disaster is a great example of Hip Canadiana:
Few believe that the song is about a single theme, but it seems that one theme may be about the raid on Dieppe during World War II. Dieppe was a daylight, pre-D-day raid of a German held port on the coast of France. In the assault, carried out by Canadian troops, nearly 4000 men were killed out of a force of about 4800. The lyrics to “Nautical Disaster” are extremely close to these facts. Gord Downie himself has alluded to the fact that the song is one long metaphor for a failed relationship, but the literal meaning has ties to Dieppe.”
I normally introduce people to the Hip via Bobcaygeon or The Darkest One, but Nautical Disaster is definitely in the top three somewhere. It is reminiscent of Gordon Lightfoot’s The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in it’s imagery. It also reminds me of the scene in Jaws where Quint is describing what it was like to be on the U.S.S. Indianapolis when it was sunk: “So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks ttook the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.” Tragedies at sea. For my female readers (unveiled sexism) – picture the end of Titanic.
From the first line of the song, you know you’re in for something quite horrible: “I had this dream where I relished the fray, and the screaming filled my head all day.” It starts slow and builds to the line everyone loves to scream at shows “…off the coast of France, dear!” before it kicks into high gear. Have a listen for yourself by clicking on Radio Pye in the left column, and you can read some great fan explication here.
Spread Thinner Than Depression Era Peanut Butter.
The play rehearsals have increased to twice a week, and I’ll even be at Knights of Columbus Saturday afternoon painting the set with the rest of the cast. It’s being built there and then moved over to the Improv Asylum towards the performance dates. I have been enjoying the experience, even becoming enough of a primadonna to actually try and change my lines to ones I think are better suited to my character (who you’ll remember is a stupid plot-device cop with about 10 of them). Next thing you know, I’ll be asking what my motivation is and blathering away naked in a dark room like Brando. Actually, I guess that’s fairly unlikely. The blathering part.
The horror.
We’ve taken on 4 new clients in the last two weeks at my real job, and although I’m excited by this, I don’t know where I’m going to dredge up the time to handle it all. I have a lot to learn about Exchange servers, skateboards and lobby security software – and precious few waking hours in which to do so. The other actors have told me to learn my cues and try to thread conversations together. Maybe I can do the same here at work, and pretend I’m setting off a building alarm which is powered by a server because I did a Frontside 180 Powerslide through reception.
Again, astronomically unlikely.
Today Started Like Any Other Day…
And then GoonBlog got mentioned in the frigging New York Times. They require you to register and login, so I’ve posted the best part of the article over at GB for easy reference. Big congratulations to my not-so-secret GB partner in crime, and PITF favorite, Detroit Velvet Smooth who does the majority of the writing and heavy lifting over there. You’re famous, you bastard.
Shoot, Pass, Punch, Get Published.