Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

admin

Thirty Two Problems And A Bitch Ain’t One.


in Reminiscent

Last year on my birthday I made many hilarious references to Pearl Harbor. This year I’ll simply reflect on birthdays past, and there’s been a lot of them. Last year we all had dinner in the South End. The year before that was the big 3-0, and I organized a huge party for myself (as you do) at Tiernans which was thwarted by the largest snow storm Boston had seen in years. The year before that, Janet organized a party at Harvard Gardens which was a lot of fun – I sang all the way home in the cab, and then made everyone wait until the song was over until we got out.

Prior to that it starts to get fuzzy. I think 28 might have been at Silvertone. 26 or 27 was a surprise party at Janet’s old place in Inman square. Before that I was in England, and that year they midread the birthdate on my work papers at the pub (they reverse the month and date when reading it metrically) and shocked me with a cake on the 12th of July. Yesterday, my workmates took me out for lunch, also mistaking the numeral 7 for the square root of “DERRR”.

But it’s the thought that counts, and I always have fun with good friends around. This year it’s subdued – some Greek food in Watertown and then early to bed before an important meeting tomorrow. Thank you all for putting up with me for so long, and here’s to another longevitus 32 for all of us.

{ 5 Comments }

Wednesday Wadio: Belle And Sebastian’s ‘Funny Little Frog’.


in Wednesday Wadio

“The frisky bassline and chunky horn blasts are rewarding enough, but it all sounds too easy, too patronizing for a band in the adulthood of their career.” – Pitchfork

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Belle and Sebastian’s new album, The Life Pursuit, isn’t released for over 2 months yet, but I accidentally found it online. Funny Little Frog has been available from their Peel session for almost a year now, but this is the full studio version and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I’ll surely enjoy being buggered in the shower at MCI Concord during my 18 months for piracy.

This is your archetypical ‘new’ B&S song – piano, horns and mindless optimism. I especially love the sound of the snare drum, and the way Stuart Murdoch pronnounces thro-at so that it rhymes with poet. Cute, Stu. I think Pitchfork was a little hard on this single, and the album in general. I don’t honestly think the new album is on par with their best work, but I can’t fault them for evolving and changing – “…at least they aren’t pulling a Robert Smith and staying “miserable” ad infinitum“. I’m always glad to see them, and we’ll always have If You’re Feeling Sinister.

{ 5 Comments }

Ring A Dong Kong.


in

I haven’t been excited about a movie in a long time. As I wrote to a friend yesterday, who asked me to comment on the movies of 2005 for an article he is writing: “There are so many CGI-powered films these days that special effects hardly seem challenging any more. The real magic of Star Wars back in the 70s was the innovation behind the visuals. No one had ever seen anything like it before. Now, it seems like Sith was sandwiched in somewhere between Chronicles of Riddick and Serenity, and the magic has become mundane.” I just quoted myself. About Star Wars. If there’s still any uncertainty about whether or not I will die alone, this should put that right to bed.

A King Kong remake seemed like a decent idea to me. Mighty Joe Young didn’t quite cut it, and the 1976 version is a snoozer, in spite of Charles Grodin. Add Peter Jackon to the mix, and I might actually go see it in the theatre instead of downloading it whilst counting booty, sharpening a cutlass and feeding a parrott. Walking around on a peg leg whilst making a Frenchman walk the plank and leering at the computer screen with my one good eye. Dammit I’m a pirate!

The preliminary reviews have started to come in, and they are beyond good. I haven’t seen the movie, so I can only share some of the snippets I have heard thus far:

– “Grown men around me were crying,” says one Hollywood insider.
– “…a wonderful blend – probably the most perfect blend – of escapism and adventure, mystery and romance”.
– “could legitimately be described as the most thrilling B-grade movie of all time”.
– “Jackson evokes such a sense of empathy for his beast that Kleenex should be sold along with the popcorn.”

So we have the action of Jurassic Park (the flick is apparently chock full o dinos once they get to Skull Island,) and the weepiness of Titanic. Something for everyone. A bit chicky, and a lot dudey. An enormously diverse target audience. Time will tell, but I can say that I’d love to see Jack Black, and not Leonardo DiCaprio, as the star of the highest grossing movie of all time. I mean I’d just sleep better.

{ 8 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Seascapes Of Violence.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: When was the last time you did something courteous?
I’ve been giving my seat up on the train a lot more frequently. It hurts at first, and it’s hard to sit down for a few days afterwards, but it’s a good way to make some extra pocket money and there are always generous elderly gentleman cruising public transportation.

Salad: If you were to have a painting done of you, what would background be?
The background would be that I’m enough of a narcissistic twat to comission a painting of himself. So, in other words, a seascape.

Soup: Describe your voice.
It’s smooth and deep. I can do a great Dean Martin impersonation. But if we’re talking inner-voice, it’s a selection of three murderous circus clown brothers bent on violent necrophelia.

Main Course: What is something you would like to do, but are afraid of the risks?
I’d like to move fairly soon. I don’t see myself living in Boston forever. But dropping everything is a very scary prospect. Like when you’re babysitting an infant. I’m thinking Toronto or Vancouver, but I’d likely have to change my profession a little due to the marketplace. I recently got a book on juggling.

Dessert: What was the last television show you watched?
Last night I watched an old episode of Family Guy – the one where Meg skips Stewie’s birthday party to unsuspectingly attend a cult meeting. I was a late adopter of this show, but it’s absolutely hilarious and I am so glad I eventually got around to wasting copious amounts of my time with it. Homer who?

{ 2 Comments }

That Thing About The Iron And The Candle Wax.


in

My new roomate Tom moves in this weekend. Yes, another new roomate. I swear to Christ I’m not going all John Wayne Gacy on them and stuffing them under the water heater. Rest assured, all my former roomates are alive and well attending outpatient therapy somewhere.

The former tenant was nice enough to leave three big gobs of candle wax and chewing gum (I’m not sure which is which) on the carpet, and although I steam cleaned Tuesday night, they are still front and center. Someone at work told me about a neat trick – cover the wax or gum with a paper bag and hit it with a hot iron. The smeg will stick to the bag and come right out of the carpet.

You know what? It works. Amazing. If you don’t have similar spots on the rugs in your home, make a mess just so you can try this out. Have a Satanic ritual, seal an envelope, find a pack of Big League Chew and get things started. Best of luck.

{ 0 Comments }

My Fickle Friend, December.


in Reminiscent

Gone are the days when I’d long look forward to December. Driving 8 hours to spend 3 rushed days in Toronto before driving back again isn’t quite as much fun as driving 3 hours to Grandma’s to spend a whole week there over the holidays used to be. Turning 13 is much more exciting than turning 31. Staying up all night praying for dawn and anticipating the unwrapping of dress shirts, socks and toenail clippers isn’t quite as mesmerizing as it was when the packages contained Legos, GI Joes and Star Wars figures. I still instinctively get excited about December – but these days it’s more hassle and tension than holly and tinsel.

The dual nature of December couldn’t have been reflected any better than on this, the very first day of the month. Joe Thornton got traded to San Jose – but my coworker Alon’s wife gave birth to little Maya at 7:31 this morning. I’ve also, while typing this, been invited to my first Holiday party at a posh location in Marblehead. So I suppose it could be much, much worse. And for the record – it’s called Christmas, you over-sensitive frigtards. Donnie Hatt is my hero.

{ 6 Comments }

Hostest With The Mostest.


in

PITF favorite Mean Art Green’s severely cool friend Cindy visited from Vancouver for work a couple of weeks ago, and he asked me to show her around. I’d never met Cindy, but we were fast friends and collectively had a very silly week together – the crescendo of which was a Bruins game with Detroit Velvet Smooth and Clarkey in tow. Long story short, we took some neat photos with her wide-angle lens, and I’ve added them to the gallery here.

While we’re on the subject of hockey, I am trying to organize a crew to go and see the LockMonsters take on the Providence Bruins this Saturday evening in Lowell. Any takers can feel free to comment or email me. Revelry will ensue during and afterwards. You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted Lowell’s nightlife. Or crack. Is there really a need for a differentiation there?

{ 0 Comments }

Wednesday Wadio: XTC’s Generals And Majors.


in Wednesday Wadio

“In my view, XTC is the greatest rock band of the 1980s… they’ve never really lost their edge: they’ve consistently delivered quality recordings that show increasing sophistication and maturity instead of burnout and boredom.” – warr.org

“Dear God” is the closest XTC ever came to a major Stateside hit, but they have have an enormous back catalog which includes 14 full studio albums, the first of which was released in 1978. I have been a fan for almost 20 years myself, and my favorite XTC tune is by far the fully infectious “Generals and Majors” off 1980’s Black Sea album.

The lyrics aren’t all that sophisticated and seem to poke fun at warmongers, for lack of a better analogy. So the tune should be soundtracking another questionable video from MoveOn.org within the week. To call the baseline simply catchy, would be a disservice to catchy baselines everywhere. If you can listen to this song without tapping your foot, either have your pulse checked or report to a Dave Matthews concert immediately.

Here is a great collection of videos I found on the expansive and interesting tribute site, Chalkhills – and you can also visit the official site for the latest news, audio clips, lyrics and a full discography. Revisit the XTC, kids. I can’t stress that enough.

{ 1 Comment }

Goodbyes To Sweaty Palms And Butterflies.


in

Romance dies after only the first year, according to Italian scientists who probably hope they’re next in line to woo your girlfriend as a result of you buying into their findings. So enjoy the honeymoon as long as you can, folks. Because after a time you’re apparently no more in love with your spouse than you are with one of your best friends:

“Research has suggested that romantic love fades after a few years and becomes companionate love and it seems certain biological factors play a role. But while we are a pair-bonding species, there is some doubt over whether this is within monogamous relationships or not.”

That sorta puts a wee damper on things, huh? Here I am thinking some spectacular female is due to come down the pike into my life at any minute, when really I might as well be buggering a buddy. I don’t buy it. There’s no way my mother would have ever put up with my father for all these years if there wasn’t something deeper at play. No way in hell.

Eh, I’m thinking too hard. Que sera sera. And buggery.

{ 1 Comment }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Be The Bard, Danny.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: What did you look like when you were a teenager?
I actually looked a lot like James Coburn during my teens. Smoking a pipe and wearing white tuxedos almost exclusively. What kind of a silly question is that? I had less wrinkles, more hair and was a liberal. I pine only for the first two.

Salad: Whose advice do you listen to?
I like to listen to my own advice, primarily. But there a few folks I turn to from time to time when I need some guidance. You know who you are. And you wish I’d stop calling.

Soup: Name a book you would like to memorize.
The combined works of William Shakespeare. To be able to shout out powerful passages in modern, everyday situations would be… annoying.

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.” “I still don’t understand, sir. does that mean you want the fries or the coleslaw?”

Main Course: How often are you sick?
About once a year during the winter. I take very few sick days, as I need them for traveling to Canada, etc. If we’re talking about sexual deviance, however – is it noon yet?

Dessert: Do you like or dislike change?
I like it. I have moved around a lot in my life. I went to three different high schools and have been lucky enough to travel all over the world. Bring on the change, I say. Providing, of course, that I don’t have to leave the North End.

{ 0 Comments }

Thigetty-Thanks To The Giving.


in Heartwarming

Live from Concord – just got back from the football game where the Pats were receiving a sound thrashing from Bedford. I hope it worked out as we had to leave early. I saw absolutely no one I knew, save for Gilbert Simmons, and felt about 400 years old. Still, it’s great to be out here as always. Deep-fried turkey, old friends and beer. Have a great holiday everyone.

{ 2 Comments }

Wednesday Wadio: Kate Bush’s King Of The Mountain.


in Wednesday Wadio

Opening with mysterious panning pulses and the whistling of wind, the song gradually swells into a climax of guitars, crashing drums and spookily layered vocals. As comebacks go, they don’t get much better than this. – Virgin

When I heard Kate Bush was making her unlikely comeback, I decided I should put her 1978 classic Wuthering Heights up on Radio Pye. WH is based on Emily Bronte’s book of the same name, and has long been an obsession of Bush’s. The tune took the scene by storm, and although it confused the heck out of a lot of people, it stayed at #1 in the UK for a month that year. Bush went on to record with Peter Gabriel, release a good album every few years until 1993 – and then go absolutely stark raving mad before disappearing into the desolate English countryside.

Earlier this year she spent 2.5 million pounds on an estate near the setting of the 158 year old novel, and registered herself to vote in the county under the name Catherine Earnshaw – which just happens to be the name of Wuthering Heights’ heroine. But she’s back, and I’m pumped and I want to share. And, no, her new album isn’t entitled “Mad as a Box of Frogs”.

The first thing about Kate Bush is her voice. If you hate her, that’s probably why. It’s childish and prickly, and she sweeps through her four-octave range with all the inhibition of someone taking a shower in an empty house, seemingly oblivious to the fingernails-on-chalkboard effect a voice like that can have. – Salon

See what you think of King of the Mountain. If you like it, try Wuthering Heights, Running Up That Hill and Babooshka. And maybe don’t try moving onto a remote moor and spending all your time reading the Bronte sisters and sculpting whilst wearing leotards. Or do – you know what? It’s almost Thanksgiving. Let’s all get a little nuts this weekend, hah?

{ 5 Comments }

I Wish My Building Would Fuck Off.


in

We’ve been in the midst of a monsoon here in Boston for the past 24 hours or so, and it’s quite miserable to say the least. I’ve just heard from a building-mate that the roof in her bedroom is leaking like a seive – so we can add that to the list of decrepitude that has taken place since I took over managerial duties. Let’s recap, shall I? Fine then:

1. Two windows were broken by people moving out just prior to my tenure.
2. A sink fell off one of the walls.
3. Two medicine cabinets had to be replaced.
4. The front door lock was destroyed by a burgular/drunk.
5. The fire-escape broke and had to be painted.
6. The roofdeck had to be stained.
7. The washer and dryer broke down.
8. My inebriated, keyless roomate destroyed our front door.
9. The fire alarm malfunctioned.
10. The exterior light stopped working.
11. The roof is leaking.

Am I forgetting anything? Probably. It’s just dumb luck, as it’s a great little building. But I wonder why it has waited until my reign of terror to begin falling apart. Does it think I have more empathy than Seamus? No replicants have moved in to date, so I guess it can’t be all that run down just yet. All those… repairs will be made. Like tears in rain.

{ 4 Comments }