One of my co-workers has been chatting with his parents on and off all morning behind me. They live in Hawaii and apparently his poor mother was admitted to the hospital over the weekend, hence the multitude of calls. The one-sided versions of the conversations I’ve been privvy to started off normal enough, but have gotten progressively weirder as he must have been able to tell – because he just came over to tell me what was going on with mumsie.
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn sticks out among my childhood memories for two reasons. It was the first VHS tape we rented at the video store after getting a VCR in 1982. The second reason being the awful scenes involving Ricardo Montalban placing slugs into the ears of various prisoners thereby controlling their minds. “Mind-controlling Ceti Eels” to be exact. Please believe me when I tell you I had to look that up. There’s a party in my ear, and everyone’s invited.
So this guy’s mother wakes up Saturday morning with a narsty headache. After a few hours some blood begins to drip out of her ear and his father rushes her to the hospital where they learn she’s hosting an uninvited skull-guest. They’re taking it out later today and still don’t know exactly what it is. He seems to think it’s a cockroach as they’re apparently way too common in Hawaii. I think someone needs to track down Mr. Roarke immediately – the safety of the Reliant, the Genesis project and Dog the Bounty Hunter may depend on it!
EWWWWWWWWW. This is the second (gagging) disgusting (choking) ear-related (barf) story I’ve heard today. The other was from a friend who’s ear was stuffed up, thought it to be allergies and when he went to see the doctor they pulled out this (gagging) gross black piece of earwax about the size of a thumbnail. Ugh. Gross. Ears are yucky.
This happens all the time. All the time. Bugs love ears apparently. I just read a story this weekend about a lady who had a wasp in her ear. A goddamn wasp. With a stinger, and all. But I think I’d rather have that than a roach. I’d have to kill myself. I’d have no other choice.
Insects anywhere on me skeeves me out. The thought of having them internally is just to much to handle. Sure you have heard the myth about how the average person swallows 4 live spiders a year as they sleep. GAG!
http://www.washington.edu/burkemuseum/spidermyth/myths/whileyousleep.html
Needless to say, I will be wearing ear muffs and a muzzle to bed tonight. Thanks Dave!
Earmuffs and a muzzle? To bed? Have you been reading my diary?
Cpt. Jean-Luke Piccard is far more superb of a Captain when compared to William Shatner.
Just caught wind of this story and unfortunately I have heard stories like this before. An old colleague of mine originally from India would tell me stories about the “rainy” season in India. Each year the streets would flood which would also bring out all the creepy crawlers, well creepy crawlers need a place to go to.
Well, one major problem that frequently happened was that centipedes (sp?) would crawl up and in peoples ears… yeah thats right an entire centipede. At that time the healthcare system was quite suspect and as a result people would actually die from such a thing.
Now friends, can we all agree that we live in one of the greatest countries on earth?
Bdoyle
“At that time”? Doyle, I’m pretty sure you can still die from a cat bite in India. And what’s with the Anonymous posting? Just enter a name where it gives you the choice. No registration needed anymore. WAAAAAAH!
Hi Dave, I’ve finally signed up….
Now I am one of the cool kids
Hi. Who be dat?
Pyester, while perusing your peerless Blog Emporium as I often do in the soft twilight of my working day, this posting almost compelled me to re-examine my lunch within seconds…it’s truly horrific in a way that only a true medical case study of large braineating Hawaiian ear-scorpions claiming another innocent victim can be! Now call me a simpleton from dear old rainy miserable Blighty but I thought Hawaii was an idyllic island paradise with nothing more dangeorous than the odd Japanese Real Estate Agent and the odd Hula-dancing scantily-clad temptress?! Now all of a sudden peoples entire heads are being devoured in broad daylight infront of their loved ones!!!F*ck me backwards with a fishfork!!!No way I’m going on my hols anywhere where my head is basically a bargain bucket for the local insect life! Certainly don’t see the headless corpses lined up in the glossy holiday brochures! Once again Pyemeister you’ve blown away the clouds of deception and blogged us a Truth Rainbow! Fact into doubt simply doesn’t go kids!Take my advise if you are reading this in Hawaii: stick your iPOD phones in with superglue and head for he nearest airport…or indeed one of those ludicrous pointy canoes like off Hawaii-5-0 and start paddling like mentalists! Save yourselves! Well, your heads at any rate. They’re quite important. Unless you’re French.