Movies

“No longer does the movie industry have to film footage in Toronto, Philadelphia or other locations to suggest that they are some how in the North End of Boston.”

Apparently not. As I stepped out of my apartment building this morning, I ran smack – and I mean literally – into a film crew that was backed up from one end of Cleveland Place to the other. Lights, cameras, screens – there must have been 50 people packed into the narrow lane with all the equipment. Unfortunately, I was at the back of the bunch, with a sound board and video monitor right outside my bedroom window, but it was still fun to watch and I hung around for a few minutes and watched while they held up production as a plane flew overhead. My kingdom for a new digital camera review I feel like I can trust.

I know from talking to people around the neighborhood that Danny Aiello is the star, and that the move – Stiffs – is about “A hearse driver (Aiello) bonds with a pack of Bostonians in an effort to keep a local funeral home in business.” I went to my first play rehearsal last night (a story for a separate post,) and one of my esteemed co-stars was an extra in a restaurant for a day of shooting on Tuesday. She told me Aiello was the nicest man she’s ever met.

We need some movies about the North End. There was an independant flick made about 5 years ago, but it is impossible to find and I’ve never been able to watch it. You can see many shots taken down around the bottom of Prince in 1978’s The Brinks Job, and Peter Boyle and the late Robert Mitchum take a stroll through Government Center Plaza during the end credits of 1973’s The Friends of Eddie Coyle. Other than those, the North End, which is an amazing looking neighborhood with an incredibly rich and seedy history, has been largely ignored. I hope this turns around, or I may just have to start writing something my damn self.

UPDATE: I just got a call from my neighbor. Someone on the set asked her if anyone in the vicinity had a wireless router. So I just spoke to one of the Stiffs crew and gave them my IP and password. So basically, I’m now powering the entire shoot’s internet. I had better get a screen credit! “Special thanks to the huge nerd who let us use his Wireless“. Or a signed 8×10 of Danny.

When people want to know about certain things, they talk to me. As if I were Mad Max and they were a desperate villager who needed to find a truck to haul gasoline. But it’s not quite as cool as post-apocolyptic gang warfare-related advice – when all they’re asking you is to tell them what movies you recently went to by yourself before masturbating yourself to sleep whilst crying.

“I’m greatly looking forward to King Kong and A Scanner Darkly, which is an animated version of a Philip K. Dick book,” said Dave Pye, senior account manager with a Boston-based search engine marketing firm. “Blade Runner, Total Recall and Minority Report are all great geek movies based on Dick’s work, and I hope the trend continues.”

Still, it’s very nice to be an authority on something. Maybe I can work my way up to Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.

Way to busy to do a proper quizzlet today. Meetings, dentist, interns and the like. But as always I’ll get to it over the weekend. In the meantime, please discuss the hot topic of the day – and no, it has nothing to do with a bombing, Nicole Richie or a natural disaster. Although these are often synonymous. I’m here all week – try the martinis.

Since my #1 choice didn’t want the role, I am now quite happy with the selection of Daniel Craig as the next (“grittier and darker“) 007. If you’ve seen Layer Cake, you know this guy can pull of some serious action. His rugged fugliness is also a departure from the poofiness of Brosnan, Moore and Dalton – and a bit of a throwback to the tougher, more mean-spirited and thuggish Bond that Sean Connery brought to the screen.

This publicity photo, the first of Craig as Bond, really says it all. “The actor said he was not looking to redefine the role, but added: “It’s a question of taking it somewhere maybe where it’s never gone before.” Oh, James.

Can someone please explain to me how in the heck I’m supposed to get any work done today when Death Hunt is on AMC? Mounties, trappers, gunfights, gold teeth being removed with hunting knives – and even Ed Lauter. Oh happy, unproductive Saturday. I guess there’s always tomorrow.

We’re four hours into the flight to Vancouver, and Tim Burton’s Batman is better than I remember it. The first movie shown was Kicking and Screaming, but now Air Canada has gotten all retro on us. Jason and I enjoyed a lovely airline pancake breakfast and now he’s reading The Perfect Storm while I struggle to keep from going truly batty in my cramped little aisle.

As we were waiting to board the plane at 7am, we ran into Jeff B. who’s also going to the wedding and is sitting two rows behind us as I type. When we land, we’re going to sync up somewhere in Vancouver proper and I imagine they’ll end up in one of the city’s new Amsterdammy cafes while I skulk around for a suit. Then – it’s on to Whistler. We have to be at the hotel for a champagne reception by 8.

I think that somewhere in the middle of this very hectic, very short and phenomenally expensive (tack the new suit onto the already hefty tab) weekend – a really great time might emerge. So I press on in hope.

Hardly a sudden passing at 91 years of age, but I’d still like to tip my hat to Geraldine Fitzgerald who passed away only this morning. You’ll remember her as the Grandmother who faked her own death and left son-in-law Rodney Dangerfield 40 million if he could sober up inside of a year in one of my top 5 favorite comedies, Easy Money. If you have never seen this flick, we now live in an age where ‘Tivo’ is a verb, so make some time and watch it.

Of course, while a part of my cherished canon, Mrs. Monahan is hardly the role for which she’ll be remembered. Her appearences in Wuthering Heights, Dark Victory and an Orson Welles production make Easy Money look like… well, Easy Money. But she had a great sense of the comedic (she also played Dudley Moore’s Grandmother in Arthur,) and I wanted to wish her a safe trip down the pearly pike.

Are you familiar with The Goonies subculture? Well are you? I thought I was, but then did a little surfing and discovered that the cult following that this silly little film has produced over the last 19 years is nothing short of staggering. There is a Goonies sequel in the works. The city of Astoria, Washington, where the entire film was shot, has markers on many of the main locations as fans come from all over the world to visit. There are even little conventions from time to time. The Goonies’ cult following is alive and well, and I’d be frightened if I didn’t love the movie so much myself. I saw it twice in the theatre in 1985, had the Commodore 64 game, and had this poster on my bedroom wall.

I feel comfortable admitting all of this, because the webmasters of thegoonies.org make me look like James frigging Dean on the comparative nerdery scale. They get full credit though – the site is well designed, engaging and their forum is obviously a haven for Goonies fans around the world. And check out this cool but obsessive film they made about their own trip to Astoria. One of the guys edited himself into the movie in a few spots. I briefly felt sorry for him, but then remembered I was inside my glass house writing about the Goonies on a Saturday night – and decided not to throw any stones.

Would a Goonies sequel be a complete trainwreck? It’s got all the characteristics. But Richard Donner has made many great flicks over the years, and I think there’s at least a snowball’s chance it’d be decent. Unfortunately neither John Matuzak (Sloth), or Anne Ramsey (Mamma Fratelli) made it out of the eighties alive. But I have great idea – Donner could help get the sequel green-lit if he got one actor to play both parts. They’d save a bundle. I have the perfect candidate in mind. Dick – for heaven’s sake – call me.

I took my work crew to see War of the Worlds tonight, as I’ve been tasked with HR responsibilities (aka HR period) for the company. But I enjoy the “take the nerdlets out to see films you’d be downloading anyway” angle of the position. That I’ll also be in charge of sensitivity training could be viewed as a bit of an error on management’s part. Although in my own defense – I did cancel the “It’s Not Sexual Harrassment If She’s Asleep” T-Shirts I had planned for this year’s harbor cruise.

2005’s War of the Worlds is a very good movie. Worthy of both Orson and H.G. Although I did find Tim Robbins’ “Everyone knows that wars of occupation never work” line detestable and about as subtle and out of place as Elliott calling his brother “Penis-Breath” in the first 15 minutes of E.T. – Spielberg gets a big thumbs-down in my book for letting that little liberal turdlet seep into the otherwise fucking spellbinding movie. It’s Shindler’s List Meets V. It makes Independance Day look like, well E.T. – Forget I said anything.

Hanging over the entire marketing effort for this movie has been Tom Cruise’s bizarre stint on Oprah, Scientology and Katie Holmes. After the movie, I met my sister and her friends from work for a beer, and one of her buddies went on for 15 minutes about how Katie Holmes was one of 3 major actresses approached by the Church of Scientology to pretend to be Tom’s girlfriend – because he’s really gay. Listen man, I saw huge alien Tripods chasing Tom across Connecticut for two hours tonight. Not a barrage of rodents vying for access to his bunghole. But then I remember the whole Lestat thing and think – Dave, quit while you’re ahead.

Last Friday as I was walking home from work, Anthony Anderson and his crew walked right past me in front of the godforsaken Alley on Boylston street. Being a big fan of The Shield, and an even bigger fan of Kangaroo Jack, I was pretty psyched. His career has taken an incredible leap this year – going from the dregs of… uh, Kangaroo Jack, to the reason he’s gracing us with his presence here in Beantown. Namely, a starring role in Scorcese’s next film, The Departed, which is currently filming in Southie and other locations around the city. A secondary-unit was shooting a scene in a North End restaurant a block from my apartment Tuesday night.

Anthony’s co-star is Jack Nicholson, among many others, and old Irish has more than lived up to his deviant reputation so far during the production: “Jack suggested using a [prosthetic appendage],” adds the source. “He also wanted to dust the [posterior] of one of the actresses with cocaine. Marty said, ‘Go for it!’” This old dog can still hunt. Oh – and birth calves from the looks of it.

“Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!” – AFI has finally released their top 100 movie quotes of all time. And while Aliens didn’t really make the list, they’ve still done a decent job with a difficult task. But obviously I’m still going to fly into a silly snit and point out some glaring absences. It’s what I do/why I will die alone.

– Roy Batty’s pre-death speech from the end of Blade Runner. “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe…” Hard to believe those tights either, Rutger.
– Indiana’s Jones’ cocky “Trust me” from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Love it.
– Choose any 10 second snippet from Glengarry Glen Ross you like and jam it in at #50. Mamet should be all over this list. “How was her crumbcake? Homemade?”
– You may also remember a small, seldom seen, independant movie called Goodfellas that could populate the first half of this list all by itself.

I’m a busy boy today and can’t really elaborate to the depressingly fanatical extent I’d like to. Please help me out and give a little love to the plethora of quotelets that have fallen by the wascally wayside.

I was about to write another scathing, vagrant-slagging tirade after reading this awful article (so much for moving to the ‘Couv), but I’ve already done it to death. “We get it, Dave – you’re an anti-homeless crusader for the greater good“. Luckily something else triggered a sudden fit of movie fanboy nerdery and you’ve all been spared – for today, anyway.

Albeit from the Sun, this article claims that wunderkind Quentin Tarantino has been talking to Eddie Murphy about directing him in… wait for it… Beverly Hills Cop 4. Samuel L. can take over as the always-angry Chief Todd, and Travolta can enhance the old Paul Reiser role. Uma Thurman will cancel out any need for Brigitte Nielsen, and Rosewood and Taggart will have their revolvers replaced by Desert Eagles. Come on – it’ll be fun, motherfucka.

Back in October, when I was in the throes of a self-imposed, month long sobriety experiment – I stayed in on a Saturday night and wrote a strange article about Disney’s old school 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea Ride. When I re-read it now, it’s quite funny and definitely the work of someone who is pining for a lost childhood memory. And definitely not used to being sober on a Saturday night. Regardless, I read this amazing article yesterday about a sub-wreck that’s been rediscovered off the coast of Panama:

“A British explorer has found an early submarine that he believes was the inspiration for Nautilus, Captain Nemo’s vessel in Jules Verne’s novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea.”

“She was built in 1864 by a visionary craftsman, Julius Kroehl, for the Union forces during the American Civil War. But the boat, called Explorer, was never used in the conflict and was subsequently taken to Panama where she was used to harvest pearls.”

A maritime museum in Canada had a record of the ship’s final resting place, and asked the explorer to check on it when they heard he was in the area. The Explorer was the first primitive sub to have a reversible airlock which allowed crew members to leave and then return to the ship whilst it was submerged. The museum had an 141 year old written report on the demise of the Explorer which detailed the abandonment of the ship and the simultaneous deaths of the entire crew… but it wasn’t from drowning!

“The submarine, which measures 36ft by 10ft, was lying in under 10ft of water off Isla San Telmo, an island in an archipelago known as The Pearl Islands, since being abandoned after three years in the pearl industry. Her crew all died from what was described then as a “fever”, but what was more likely to have been the bends after they regularly submerged to about 100ft to work.”

Read the full article if you’d like. It’s amazing how yesterday’s trash becomes an influencial, modern treasure. It’s also amazing how whomever I leant my 20,000 Leagues DVD to has not yet returned it. Still more amazing is the fact that I just admitted I forget who I leant it to, and thus will never see it again. May ye get the bends, ye scallywag!

A very good of mine is getting married this summer, and his engagement party is this Friday night at the Ritz here in Boston. He flew in from L.A. last night and called me as I was walking home from work. “You’re here!” I said when I answered the phone. “Yeah man. I’m just standing on Boston Common killing some time,” he replied. I started to laugh.

“Dude, I’m walking through Boston common right now. Where are you exactly?” Dougie quickly told me and I cut off of the sidewalk, over a grassy hill and spotted him right away. We were on opposite sides of a large patch of grass, just staring at eachother and pacing back and forth. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the scene at the end of Wall Street, where Bud and Gordon are doing the exact same thing in the middle of Central Park. Well, apparently Doug had the same idea, because he immediately broke into full Gecko mode:

“I took you in… a NOBODY. I opened the doors for you… showed you how the system works… the value of information… how to get it. Fulham oil, Brant resources, geodynamics and this is how you fucking pay me back you cockroach“.

My gut still hurts from all the laughing I did last night. Congratulations, big guy! We’re going to have so much fun Friday night it should be illegal. In fact, I’m almost certain it is illegal. Forget I said anything. (Dave whistles, walks away innocently looking into the sky, and… scene).

Revenge of the Sith opens today, and I felt a quick little furry nod was in order. The last time I thought the last-ever-Star-Wars-movie was opening, it was 1983 and my family was waiting to see Return of the Jedi in Ottawa, Ontario. My father bought a cute little Wicket the Ewok button for Janet, which some enterprising guy was selling to the people standing in line. He was selling buttons – not Janet. Just wanted to make that as clear as a Dagobah pond.

Now, 22 years later, I’m spending this holiest of days sweating through work like Jabba on a treadmill. Yet I’ll still find the time to make several bad Star Wars jokes, eh? View the entire Ewok PhotoShop contest here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted any friends-with-celebrities photos, so isn’t it just uncanny that some came my merry way recently. Those of you who remember Jason Thelen from Concord probably haven’t met his lovely wife, Cary. And that’s probably not an accident, knowing him. Incidentally, you can see multiple photos of Adam and I misbehaving at their wedding here. It’s a pretty funny gallery – some of my best old-school captioning work – so check it out.

Anyhew, Cary was some gala event or another, and who should be attending but the one and only Ben Stein of Ferris fame. I don’t have many other details (perhaps Jason or Cary will chime in via the comments) other than it looks like our man Ben is a new fan. Stay tuned for his new show, “Fight Off Ben Stein’s Indecent Proposal” coming soon to FX/civil court.