Whinging

Burlington, VT: The Seedy Little Tech Hub We Call Home

by admin on February 8, 2025
in Burlington VT, Politics, Whinging

Burlington, Vermont has long been celebrated for its vibrant arts scene, stunning natural beauty, and progressive spirit. Although, as I’ve come to learn since moving here from Toronto in 2012 – that last point isn’t the advantage it may sound like. Because nowadays this town makes Toronto look like Birmingham, Alabama… in 1963.

It hasn’t earned its “People’s Republic of Burlington” nickname due to the cuisine.

The city is a bit of a paradox right now. A paradox smelling strongly of pee. Surrounding all the new tech companies, and a digital marketing agency (or 20) who sprung up beside them, are significant and self-inflicted challenges related to homelessness, crime, and drug addiction.

And I genuinely like it here. But I do mean surrounding.

That Escalated… Immediately

In the last 5 years, the city has seen record levels of homelessness, with hundreds of unhoused individuals in the area, many of whom are battling severe addiction issues fueled by drugs like your fentanyls and your xylazines. Overdoses have surged, straining emergency services and leaving many without access to long-term treatment.

Simultaneously, crime rates have risen sharply – gunfire incidents increased nearly 300% (not a typo) in recent years, and aggravated assaults are up 40% – making residents feel unsafe, and definitely resentful of the progressive politicians who got us into this mess.

A Soft Target for Treachery

We’ll get back to the tech and the marketing, but you may be wondering how this happened, and why so quickly? When people ask me, I typically say something along the lines of: “That’s easy. Burlington has become a soft target, and we the marks who live here.

A target for dirtbags looking to sell their wares to vulnerable citizens. And the word is out – all along the drug corridor which starts in Montreal, runs straight through Burlington, and carries on down to Springfield MA, Boston, New York City and beyond. Why do we now find ourselves in this predicament?

A Case Study in Stupidity

Existing issues were immediately enflamed by the city’s decision in 2020 to defund our police force by 30%, reducing the number of active-duty officers from 95 to – whatever number they’ve slowly managed to crawl back up to. Not many people want to be a cop these days. Between early retirement as soon as they’re pension eligible, and a lot of 1/4 full police academies around the country, the decision made by the Burlington progressives in power right before Covid hit were an unnecessary, virtue-signaling, recipe for disaster.

That’s right, folks. Our fearless leaders at the time decided that, when not even Minneapolis followed through with their threats, “we” decided to do it right here. In Burlington fucking Vermont. Their lack of forethought, and obsession with an ideology, has turned this popular summer tourist retreat into a hellscape of unintended consequences.

In fact, so few cities ever let the insanity get as far as we did here, that Burlington quickly became, and remains, one of the only “Here’s What Happens When You Defund the Police” case studies in existence. Let’s put that on the tourism pamphlets.

Weren’t You Going to Talk About the Hub Stuff?

That doesn’t sound like any kind of progress I’ve ever heard described. I wouldn’t have let the last Ward 3 councilperson campaigning at my door warm up a bowl of soup. That guy was a breathtaking disaster. But, hey, at least for one happy decade the tech startups flocked here in droves. There, happy now?

Jokes (and angst) aside, it’s still been fascinating to watch, and be part of, Burlington’s transformation into the cute little tech hublet it’s become. With a growing number of startups, innovative companies, and a thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem, Burlington now attracts tech talent from across the country. At least the talent that doesn’t spend a lot of time researching before relocating.

Then there’s those who are packing up and moving away quicker than you can say “Jack Robinson”.

Crime in Burlington, Vermont — *“I only asked you how to get to the Olde Northender!*

And, yes, this era has naturally paved the way for a solid Burlington, VT digital marketing, SEM, SEO, content strategy and reputation management presence. Look, Burlington is a great place to live, maybe 4 days out of 7 on average. And, while not even a $30K signing bonus has been able to lure enough police officers here to make a difference, the Universe has a way of correcting itself, and eventually the old gal is sure to make a comeback.

Did I mention Ted Bundy was born like a block from my house? So, we’ve got that going for us, too.

Nah. Better not.

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And This is What We Call Progress

by admin on March 24, 2011
in Heartwarming, Reminiscent, Whinging

Editor’s Note: I fully realize that posting email forwards on your blog is the height of laziness – but this is profound and I have to share.

A little over halfway through my 30s it’s only natural that nostalgia, mortality and violent curmudgeonliness are setting in – which is probably why I’m drawn to these thoughts on how not all “progress” is… actually any sort of progress. I’ve edited this for length and into a list format which also deep-sixes some religious content. And I removed several negative references to movies, cable TV and video games – because that’s just fucking crazy talk. Apologies to the original author, but if you’re that annoyed are you any different from the whiny, lazy and entitled gluttons your original work indirectly bemoans? Let’s get down to the reminiscing…

To Those of Us Born Before 1980

First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
We were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes we had baseball caps, not helmets, on our heads.
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren’t overweight. Why? Because we were always outside playing!

“And This is What We Call Progress”–by Montreal’s The Besnard Lakes

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth – and there were no lawsuits from those accidents..
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. In fact, they usually sided with the police.
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever. The past 50 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

What did you think? Seems thematically appropriate after my recent Chris Brown-related “what’s wrong with kids today?!” post [chases lost, crying infant off front lawn while wearing sandals with socks]. Should we wind the clock back on a few of these points? I look forward to your thoughts.

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3 Words I’m Eliminating From my Vocabulary

by admin on January 25, 2011
in Whinging

This isn’t simply another ill-conceived New Year’s resolution… because I’ve been trying to stop using these 3 particular English words for at least a couple of years now. So you know I must be very passionate about this verbal endeavour.

Passionate: Ask yourself – how many times have you heard someone use this word in the last 7 days? My point is, it’s become a very popular “go to” in the last 5 years or so. So popular in fact that it’s completely lost its power. In ancient times (late 1990’s) “Passionate” was a remarkable and seldom-used term reserved for the most special of situations. T’was a haymaker. Today, however, it sloppily proliferates every single resumé, “About Us” webpage and stupid reality television show you can name. In the course of a week I literally think I hear or read it a couple dozen times. I used to love it… but I have to kill it. “Why should you hire me to clean your yard once a week? Well, (chuckle), that’s simple. Because I’m passionate about separating dog shit from mulch.”
Really?: Note the question mark. And it’s usually preceded by “Pffft…” There’s nothing wrong with “really” nine out of ten times in normal conversation. I’m taking issue with it in a specific context – namely, that context after which someone has said, proposed or done something you don’t approve of… and you have no better material or recourse than to simply utter “really?” in the most patronizing of fashions. It’s the crutch of the unimaginative. And recently it’s absolutely saturated popular culture. ”Let me get this straight. You want me to either give you a blood sample or exhale into a breathalyser. Really?”

I’m talking to you, Seth & Amy.
Interesting: See “Really?”

If every other sentence of your marketing material contains the word “passionate”, then I’m sorry if this post is troublesome or even pause for thought. These are my personal observations. However, if your greatest contribution to a smoky party discussion about healthcare is “interesting…” – be warned as I may strike you from somewhere within the dark. Levitate our lexicon, people. Or something.

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Overcharged for Hydro in Ontario

by admin on October 2, 2010
in Whinging

When a neighbour of mine popped over recently to ask if I too were being charged insane monthly hydro amounts, I looked back on my bills for the summer (I live in Portland, Ontario) to learn they’ve been consistently $500 and over for many, many months. How did I miss these ridiculous charges? My lame excuse is: because the monthly hydro bills are directly withdrawn from my bank account. So I logged into said account and looked a little closer to see that for September’s bill of over $900 had just been directly placed in Hydro One’s coffers. “WTF?” doesn’t really cover the reaction that followed.

And here’s the thing – I’ve been having issues with my furnace and have had it completely switched off for over 4 weeks now. Were I running a grow-op with massive amounts of hydroponic equipment nurturing illegal flora in my basement, I’d keep my mouth shut. But since my Hydro bill should have actually been dramatically less for last month – well, it’s driven me to blog about this nonsense in the hopes eventual readers might be able to share their stories or shed some light on just what the heck is going on. And forget the $900 for a second. I’ve easily been paying over 50% more every month than should be normal for a 30 day utility charge for over a frickin’ year now.

Hydro One: I’m not building a spaceship, powering a nuclear reactor or harbouring the Trailer Park Boys’ next big growing scheme on my property. I’m going to call you next week and try to get to the bottom of this. And by “get to the bottom of this” I actually mean “get a massive credit/refund”. I will keep everyone updated as to what transpires. If you’ve found this post via a Google search and are in the same boat – please leave your own story in the comments below. In the meantime, I’ll be panhandling or selling my body in anticipation of next month’s financial haemorrhage.

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Lightning Strikes Again. And Again

by admin on March 29, 2010
in Whinging

Two years ago my house was hit by lightning. Insurance covered the cost of replacing the fridge, microwave and dishwasher which were all fried by Zeus’ misfire – I hope it was a misfire, anyway. Because I’ve been sacrificing goats on the regular.

The fun didn’t end there. Even though we installed a house-wide surge protector (after the fact) things keep breaking down and there is no doubt in my mind, or that of the many repairmen cycling through here, that the original bolt must be to blame.

The latest victims – my 3-year old stove and my furnace’s compressor. Over a year has passed so neither is still covered by insurance. All the money I’ve saved for other long-looked-forward-to household additions has been whisked away, just like that. Quicker than a flash of lightning, if you will. Anyone else have any good wrath of the Gods type experiences to share? I’m doubling up on goats for the next month.

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