My first reaction when I see someone handing things out for free in the middle of Government Center is “Oh Jesus, here we go again” – and this morning I was right on the ball. Because on this of all mornings, the bearded-bugger wanted me to have a snack, apparently.
A nice young lady approached me and asked, “Would you like a free granola bar, sir?” You’re goddamn right I did, so I accepted and watched her pull one out of the tasty little things out of her dirty handbag. She kept rooting around inside for something else, produced what looked like a business card and then handed me both. “Damn it!” I thought. Why does Granola always have strings attached? And raisins?
The card was for a nearby church, and the granola bar was chocolate chip instead of raisin. So the morning, while morose, grey and rainy, took and unexpected upswing and I quickly thanked our lord and savior for the divine confection. But I was immediately reminded of an old movie I used to love about over-zealous religion and food. And by the time I finally remembered Jonestown, forget it – I’d already snarfed down the delicious bastard and then immediately began having hypochondriacal-cyanide-stomach-pains.
“He wants a chocolate chip one too, Malachy. He wants a chocolate chip one too.”
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