Modern fingerprint technology, ultra-violet light and DNA evidence assist in the capture and conviction of a decent percentage of today’s criminals. But all of these practices would be nothing without old-fashioned police legwork and intuition. Take little Patty Trimble, for example. He had Ohio’s finest running in circles whilst in pursuit of him for the inhalation of harmful intoxicants. Through a combination of a full neighborhood canvass, an anonymous tip and that frigging thing they do with the superglue on the car windows – they eventually got their man.
Listen – I’m no Lex Luthor. But Patty, if you don’t want to get arrested for huffing spraypaint – maybe don’t show up three times in the same day to buy a can at the local Dollar Store store blathering incomprehensibly and looking like the lovechild of Craig T. Nelson and Golddust next time. I’m just sayin’.
I love, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.
I love huffing SPRAAAAAYPAIIIINT!
He’s got the Midas touch,
but he touched it too much,
Hey, Goldhuffer, Goldhuffer!
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No, Mr. Bond – I expect you to marry your first cousin, move into a double-wide and continue to slowly kill yourself with paint-thinner.”
Gotta love Ohio! Surprised he isn’t from Xenia… he would of at least been a movie star… Gummo!