Ain’t karma a bitch? I hope Nicole and Ron are waiting for Johnnie at the pearly gates, all semi-decapitated-and-stinky-like, when he gets there. Better yet – if the halo doesn’t fit, the hellfire must be lit.
Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran Dead.
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Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: (pulling down a diagram of Chewie) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! (jury looks shocked)
Why would a Wookiee — an eight foot tall Wookiee — want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case? (calmly) Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
Later in that same episode, Cochran defends Chef when Chef sues the record company. Again, he uses the Chewbacca Defense, although with some minor changes:
Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decided whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen… (pulling down a diagram of Chewbacca) This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment — that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man’s life is on the line? Why? I’ll tell you why: I don’t know.
It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!
(pulling a monkey out of his pocket) Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey! (one of the juror’s heads explodes)
Eventually, Chef wins the case and all is well.
Nothin Better than the Chewbacca Defense. Everyone knows it doesn’t make sense. A Wookiee speaking Ewokinese (it is not gonna Happen Cap’n)- Everyone knows that Wookinese is a totally different dialect. If anything Jawinish and Ewokinese are the closer.
Boy, Dave, don’t let your anger consume you. Johnny didn’t kill anyone. Would it have been better, morally and ethically, to do a poor job for his client? Like Clark and Darden and the LAPD?
If it doesn’t fit you must acquit! A saint he was not. An entertainer he certainly was. Think his karma came full circle.
P.S. OJ didn’t do it. 🙂
EWAHH! Not for lunch break viewing.
Ummm. control your anger Dave. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering…
Besides, none of us were at the trial, we don’t have all the facts. Just because he seems guilty doesn’t mean he is. (Although it always seems to me that in situations like this after the aquital/ non-guilty verdict the case seems to be closed, even though SOMEONE must have killed those poor cocaine addicted d-list celebrities…)
…my my aren’t I opinionated today…
You’re right guys. I forgot about all the time OJ has spent searching for the real killers. On golf courses throughout the continental United States.
It frightens me when I agree with you, Dave. Can we go back to discussing WMDs and oil now?
johnnie we really new ya’…A defense atty: get your client off and receive a fat fee….Dave, this is America baby and and he was a player!
Nice to see you again, Jennie.