Appetizer: If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
My breed would be irrelevant as I’d be constantly holed up under a porch licking myself.
Soup: What does the color purple make you think of?
A crosseyed Oprah Winfrey. A people-eater. Some guy who lived on Porcupine Peak and continuously tried to diddle Strawberry Shortcake. The L.A. Kings. Bondage videos involving testicles and shoelaces.
Salad: Approximately how long does it take you to get ready each morning?
That depends on how many people I have to drive back to the high school.
Main Course: How many cousins do you have, and are you close to them?
I have 7 first cousins and 4 second cousins. My mother was an only child so I suppose that’s resulted in less than most. But when you’re trying to buy their love at Christmas because you only see them once a year – less is a good thing.
Dessert: Take your initials (first, middle, last) and come up with something else those letters could stand for. (Example: SFO = Sweet Funny Otter)
I wish my initials were S.G. and that I had never been given a middle name so that my answer could be Silly Goose! But since that’s not the case: Don Johnson’s Penis. Come on, you were all thinking it.
App: Any dog, really. Who doesn’t want to be pet all the time and have the ability to lick oneself? Ah, to be a dog! Pure self-gratification.
Soup: Can’t think of my own. My minds still stuck on the testicles and shoelace…..YOWSA!
Salad: In about an hour. Much like Lenscrafters.
Main: 6. Close to 4. All on the “cool and sane” side of the family.
Dessert: Adorably Righteous Lady
Posted by A.
Soup: What does the color purple make you think of?
Exactly what you said Dave – but the only thing I would add is Danny Glover and autoeurotic asphyxiation
Salad: Approximately how long does it take you to get ready each morning?
Hungover and late for work 10 to 15 minutes. Hungover – 30 minutes. Having a good morning – bout 45 minutes.
Main Course: How many cousins do you have, and are you close to them?
The ones that I can remember – Wow – this is crazy now looking at the numbers.
24 on my moms side – possibly more – these are the ones that at least come to mind without throwing them down on paper or consulting with my sister on who is a cousin and who just thinks they are a cousin – if you aren’t an aunt or uncle you are a cousin in my family none of that 1st or second crap – however, I have family members that I don’t even know are family members – just think they are family friends or vice the verse. Crazy my moms side is.
16 on my Dad’s side that is including step cousins.
You want to know a true story though.
Yah – I almost slept with one of them – she was hot and we barely knew each other. Something didn’t seem right though so she instead gave me to her friend. Very erotica like – but I would rather read about that then actually become one of the statistics – gives me crawl in my stool now just thinking about what it would have been like if we did. Ugghghghgh – amazing what you will do when you are 17 and horny.
Posted by Anonymous
I got a better quizzlet for ya Pye – How many Cardinals does it take to hold the Pope up – None… Just nail his arse to the cross.
This guys is like Weekend at Bernie’s – Seriously now – how can one night believe in Christ – I mean this guy is competing with the Queen Mum.
Posted by Monster
He’s slap wrestling the Iyatollah next week to raise money for the Tsunami.
Trev
Posted by Monster’s Ball