What a wonderful Saturday in human history. Not only is the big Mardi Gras party tonight, but the new fish tank is up, running and populated! Monster and I drove to the Galleria this morning and stocked up on supplies. I got a new light, food, 2 underwater Mayan castles, a net and even a new scratching post for the Boss. And what of the fish, you ask? You’ll remember earlier this week I was all excited about getting to choose what sort of fish I wanted. I even asked for suggestions. It turns out, the nice lady at Petco told me what sort of fish I had to buy. And they’re scarcely bigger than ants. I was disappointed. I’ll explain.
“You’re going to start off with three Tetras.” The lady turned her back to me and walked over to the tank she had in mind. I immediately balked – “I am? These guys are miniscule. May I ask why?” She didn’t appreciate my questioning her ultimate fishy wisdom. “Because. They’re hardy” came the strained reply. Obviously she meant that the little buggers were resilient, and a good way to kick off a new tank and balance out the PH levels before introducing more delicate additions. “What, like they solve mysteries together?” That got her laughing, and she ended up being quite helpful in the end. As opposed to the fat twat I initially took her for.
So she gave me three Tetras to start off with. Any more than three fish introduced at a given time can cause toxic shock to the rest of the community. They’re tiny (for scale see the one circled above to the right in front of the sacred Mayan temple) and indistinguishable from one another – so I’ve decided to call them the Hansons. Hopefully they won’t wrap foil around their fins and bash new fish into the glass. All in all, I think my little ecosystem is off to a ‘swimming’ start (LOL, ROFL, ROFLPM!) and I’ll keep you updated when I add new citizens. Cornett, Jodice and Jim will be here in half an hour for the party pre-game – at which point the Hansons won’t be the only residents of the apartment up to their eyeballs in filthy liquids.
You know what Dave – I see us gettin’ tanked at your place one night and goon’en them there fish.
-Monster
Dig the sacred Mayan castle. But couldn’t tell if that was actually a fish that was circled or a fleck of dirt on my computer screen. Perhaps 3 flecks? The Hansons…clever…”What did the old man trade for these assholes, a used puck bag?”
Aub
Where are the Hanson’s f***ing toys?
What are you talking about? What do you think a Mayan friggin’ temple goes for these days, anyway? I already helped Petco meet it’s quarterly sales target on Saturday. Toys can wait.
You could have gotten some Hot Wheels for a couple of bucks!
Janet – you are on to something – coolest idea ever – Hot Wheels – One thing though JPyeRock… no body wants a brand new shiney hot wheel – you got to wreck’em – tear the arse out of them – scratch up the paint – that is when a Hot Wheel becames a bad arse General Lee but shit you know what you should do Dave is go buy a shit load of Hot Wheels, call me up and I will bring over a case of 2 buck chuck – and we can get pissed and bang up those Hot Wheels then toss them in the River. Re-enact the Jimmy Hoffa murder or some Good Fellas scenes.
Whitely
Sounds like you may have gotten to the chuck a little early there, chief.
She’s referring to the fact that the Hanson brothers from SlapShot (for whom the fish are named) like to play with toy cars.
Feck off Dave – I knew that. You smoke a big fat hogg sometimes man. Still – I got Hot Wheels on my mind now.