Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Leave Sexy Right Where It Frigging Is.


in Musical

Where has “sexy” been that so many people seem intent now on bringing it back? All praise be to Justin Timberlake for bestowing this special gift upon all of us. Just Google it and click a few pages deep. It’s frightening. How many times have you heard it said now by TV presenters? How many of your MySpace friends have it as their profile tag line (probably shouldn’t have said that one out loud)? How many times have you seen it used clumsily in newspaper headlines? “Missing Teen’s Parents Doubt She’s Coming SexyBack.”

“The saying “bringing SexyBack” has become somewhat of a catchphrase since the song came out. It was heavily used at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards. Al Gore, for example, said he wouldn’t have come to the VMA’s at first but then he heard that “Justin Timberlake is bringing SexyBack”. Lil Kim and Jared Leto also said they were “bringing SexyBack” during the show. Also, while hyping his debut on ECW, professional wrestler Shannon Moore made a reference to the song when he quoted “I’m the Prince of Punk and I’m bringing SexyBack!”

Many other artists could have benefitted from this innovative strategy. Aerosmith could have been SexyBack in the Saddle. The Hoodoo Gurus could have sung I Want You SexyBack. ACDC might have been SexyBack in Black. Frank Black could have gone SexyBack to Rome. Paula Abdul and that silly looking cat could have gone “… one step forward and two steps sexyback”. I mean, it’s almost tragic that this wasn’t thought of 10 years ago. I’m so clever and sarcastic, eh?

So I’d officially like to do my part in bringing sexyback. Back to the exchange counter at HMV.

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How Sweet It Was. Bitch.


in Reminiscent

I have touched upon how much I think new rap sucks before. I have also asked myself the question “Am I just old now?” Perhaps I’m just following a cycle, the way my Grandmother must have looked down her nose at my mother’s Elvis ’45 collection. The odd modern rap song (I like Clipse a lot) will turn my head, but en masse – compared to how much I loved it circa 86 to 94 – it’s just awful. Look at my car, check out this tacky spinning crap rim I tacked on to my wheel, Look at my diamond plated necklace which also looks like the wheel of my car, look at the ass on this girl, listen to the blippedy beep I made on a synthesizer in 2 minutes.” Ya feel me?

I am not saying that these themes haven’t been prevalent since the days of the Treacherous Three. I’m implying it’s all anybody bloody talks about now. Sure there are the Talib Kwelis and the like who opt for message – but they are few, far between and rarely on the charts anywhere. And by old school, I am not referring to pre-1988 but all the way up to the mid-nineties. The golden-age of rap occured, for me, about the summer of 92 and then dropped off sharply when Biggie died. You can almost trace it back to the month.

My thoughts are on this today because I watched the VH1 Hip Hop Legends Awards on Sunday night and thoroughly enjoyed the shiznit out of it. The way it works, is 6 seminal rappers are picked to join the legend ranks. Then, after a “Story of…” video is played on the big screen, a medley of that artists’ songs is performed by current rappers, often with the honored artist themself joining in at the end. It was really well done – Beastie Boys songs were performed by Q-Tip, Fabolous and Diddy before they joined in at the end. Rakim was honored and performed as did MC Lyte, Ice Cube and Wu Tang. Segments were punctuated by great old songs by EPMD, Das Efx and the like. It made me wonder what the phunk happened.

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GoonBlog: The Podcast. Episode #2.


in

Recorded last Saturday, and now live for your special time hockey podcast fun jamboree enjoyment, is Episode #2 of GoonBlog: The Podcast. You’ll hear the dulcet tones of the Tragically Hip – our new theme music – as I get better with the editing equipment. Prick your ears up in sheer wonder as it fades in and out among various other sound effects and clips. You’ll hear the first ever GBTP gay joke. You’ll hear us give an impressionable 15-yr-old fan, who emailed us, the encouragement he’ll need to start more fights in his high school league. I think it’s all wonderful progress, and Detroit Velvet and myself hope you’ll enjoy it.

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What’s Best For Everybody.


in

There are very wacky things going on at the moment that I can’t talk about. So please excuse my sporradic presence. Everything will work itself out as life tends to do. Although right now it feels more akin to Jeff Goldblum’s chaos theory from Jurassic Park than any sort of cosmic karma. Or that part where musses his shoe near a stegasaurus and proclaims “That is one big pile of shit”.

I have said before that if I has to start my blog all over again, I would have done it anonymously. This silly site has gotten me threatened, exiled, slandered and discredited. It has also made me many friends, brought me some positive notoriety and even led to romance on more than one occasion. None of the best stories I can tell, however, because again I decided to name the damn thing after… me. At least I have an extremely common last name.

If I had an anonymous site, and could eliminate my inner censor and self-imposed kill switch altogether, I honestly believe it would lead to serious trouble. The only way to avoid trouble in this life is to keep your mouth shut. Completely. Even a prolific blabberer like me knows that by age 32. Everything always gets back to the last person you want it to, wrapped in a pink bow with your name on it. So perhaps sticking my neck out with my real identity was always the best thing.

Yeah, I fuckin’ said it. Look at the domain name, stupid. And don’t hit me in the face.

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