Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

What’s Best For Everybody.


in

There are very wacky things going on at the moment that I can’t talk about. So please excuse my sporradic presence. Everything will work itself out as life tends to do. Although right now it feels more akin to Jeff Goldblum’s chaos theory from Jurassic Park than any sort of cosmic karma. Or that part where musses his shoe near a stegasaurus and proclaims “That is one big pile of shit”.

I have said before that if I has to start my blog all over again, I would have done it anonymously. This silly site has gotten me threatened, exiled, slandered and discredited. It has also made me many friends, brought me some positive notoriety and even led to romance on more than one occasion. None of the best stories I can tell, however, because again I decided to name the damn thing after… me. At least I have an extremely common last name.

If I had an anonymous site, and could eliminate my inner censor and self-imposed kill switch altogether, I honestly believe it would lead to serious trouble. The only way to avoid trouble in this life is to keep your mouth shut. Completely. Even a prolific blabberer like me knows that by age 32. Everything always gets back to the last person you want it to, wrapped in a pink bow with your name on it. So perhaps sticking my neck out with my real identity was always the best thing.

Yeah, I fuckin’ said it. Look at the domain name, stupid. And don’t hit me in the face.

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Wednesday Wadio: Trailer Park Menagerie.


in Television, Wednesday Wadio

To celebrate P-Cip, Sean and my’s foray into Canadian media fame, see the Trailer Park Boys have American Fans article from yesterday, I thought I’d look for a musical clip related to the show. The first thing I found is a funny scene from the new movie where Tragically Hip’s lead singer, Gord Downie, makes a cameo as a cop. Ricky, who is famous in the TV series for tricking cops to get out of trouble, convinces them that Julian is deaf. The other cop, who asks “Where are you coming from?” is Alex Lifeson, the lead guitarist from RUSH:

Then I found a clip from the beginning of my all-time favorite episode, Who’s the Microphone Assassin, where J-Roc and the Roc Pile shoot a low-budget video for the song of the same name. “The day that J-Roc loses his flow is the day that hair on Jim Lahey’s bald head grow…“

Later in the same episode, the boys have a rap concert. But J-Roc has stage fright due to having been caught masturbating (I couldn’t make this stuff up) so other members of the gang have to fill in. Cory, Trevor and then finally Bubbles get up on stage to bust some rhymes. “Mad MC skills leave ya struck, and I roll with my kitties and I’m hard as fuck!”

And finally, J-Roc gets talked into performing, and the ditty he performs about his mom catching him wanking is undeniably catchy. Ask anyone who has seen this episode – you’ll be chanting “It could happen to you, cause it happened to me…” for a few days afterwards.

If you’re uninitiated, I’ve just given you an easy way to take a peek at this ridiculous phenomenon. Hit the play button on any of the videos to see the clips. I swear this is almost the last of it. Since I’m now an official authority, I have to act accordingly.

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The Media And Me.


in Television

The Pye In The Face Press Desk has been ablaze all day. First, Goonblog gets mentioned on MSNBC. Obviously, I thought it would end there. I didn’t go on a tri-county shooting spree or anything. Maybe Chris did – I should ask. Then, a nice woman emails me from the Canadian Press and asks if I’d like to do an interview about American Trailer Park Boys fans. She Googled PITF and obviously found an obsessive number of references. I am inching closer and closer to winning the ultimate object of my desire. My muse. My filthy fantasy dirty-time woman. You guessed it – Liz Walker.

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Turkey. A Holiday From Workey.


in Consumables

The Boston Financial District is like a ghost town today. There wasn’t a bomb scare or a New Kids reunion at the Tweeter Center – it’s Columbus Day. It’s also Canadian Thanksgiving – so I may be one of the few people on this continent who was asked to come to the office on this fine Monday. I got a text message this morning from a colleague “Are we really working today?” I shrugged and slid towards my desk through the post-Haymarket slime trails without trying to think too hard about it.

I left my iPod at home by accident, so I eventually had to form cognitive thoughts during my enviable 10 minute walking commute to stay awake. What makes a holiday optional, exactly? And is Columbus Day just about the famous explorer, or is there something more to it? I decided to investigate.

“Italian-Americans feel pride in the day due to the fact that Christopher Columbus, an Italian sailor, sailed to the Americas. Other Americans are embittered by this victory for Columbus because of the ensuing genocide of Native Americans after Columbus’ arrival.” I knew of this paradox already. Although if it hadn’t been old Chris, it would have been Portugal, Spain, France or England doing the intrusive manifesting of the destinies. So let me head off the next on-campus protest – I say let the parade continue, unless you’re prepared to move your white behind back to the Caucus Mountains and stop using electricity.

“In the state of Minnesota, Columbus Day is not celebrated, because many people in Minnesota believe that Vikings arrived in North America before Columbus.” It certainly would stink to have to change the name on all of your NFL merchandise, at any rate. And I firmly believe that there is no better mascot for a professional sports team than drunken, womanizing, bearded maniacs with horned helmets. Plus, the “Minnesota Flava-Flaves” isn’t nearly as catchy.

All this controversy has left me wishing I was in Ontario f’ing up a turkey right now. Hey JV, save me some stuffing. I’ll be there in 2 weeks. A bridesmaid would be nice, too.

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