Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Stop Looking At Me, Swan.


in

I can see the pond in the public gardens and the swan boats seem to be taunting me today. They’re having a cool dip, with exotic women from countries all over the world sitting in their laps, and I’m stapled to a desk writing emails about search engine optimization. Here comes another. See how he grins in my direction, rubbing in the fact that I have to remain indoors for another 3 hours, while he bobs around in duck doody and medical waste.

Here comes another one. Happy bird, I envy you. Even with a dirty bandaid stuck to your rudder, you’re still floating free while I read emails like a veal. Come to me soon, July 4th weekend, so I can escape to the great Northern woods, if only for a moment.

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I’m Not Your Donner.


in Television

The only thing that’s worse than oppressive heat is oppressive heat in the middle of a rainstorm. And the only thing worse than that is having nothing better to talk about than the frigging weather. At least in this scenario no one can accuse me of having a degenerative sweat duct disorder. I have to traverse the city twice tonight for meetings and will undoubtedly stumble through my apartment door around 9pm like one of the Donner Party.

The Oilers lost last night, and although I was bummed it was one of the greatest and most exciting series of hockey, or any other sport, that I’ve ever watched. Now what am I supposed to do? Glad you asked. Luckily Big Brother (the UK version – I’m not that sad) is in full swing, and my router at home is smoking from all the downloading. Year after year I am absolutely transfixed by this show, and I’m not proud of it. Good watchin’.

I have to wrap it up and start the evening’s journey. I’ll leave you all with this insane Lego site, where someone with even more spare time than me has made “dream playsets” of all his favorite pop-culture icons – including Trailer Park Boys. And yes, Julian has a little lego Bacardi and Coke.

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Blood, Sweat and Sweat.


in

My AC unit is a doozy. I would turn my kitchen floor into a rink right now if I mopped it. Good thing that only ever happens after a fork stabbing. Couple the temperature with the historic game 7 of the Stanley Cup that’s in full swing right now, and I’m a happy little penguin.

It’s been hot the last few days in Boston. the new phrase I keep hearing is “Africa” hot. But I think it’s more akin to “trip drunkenly over a trailer hitch into a campfire” hot. Exceedingly warm weather is not my favorite, and I’m going to be putting the dry cleaner’s kids through prep school if this continues.

I walk to work every day as I’ve discussed, and it works out to about 22 miles a week. Lately I’ve been getting to work after these 2 mile jaunts looking like Andy escaping from Shawshank. My favorite joke from last night’s Entourage comes to mind: “I haven’t seen anyone sweat like that since Patrick Ewing retired”. Frig – Carolina just scored. I have to pay attention to the game now and rub my rabbit’s foot. Only I don’t have one, so I’m bound to make the cat really uncomfortable.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: Lemonading and Abetting.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
I say “porkies” a lot. And not because I’m enthralled with Kim Cattrall nude scenes. Alright, it might be because I’m enthralled with Kim Cattrall nude scenes. ‘Porkies’ is the abbreviation of ‘porky pies’ which is cockney rhyming slang for ‘lies’. When I lived in England, you’d frequently see adults saying to children: “Are you telling porkies again, Nathaniel?!” That always cracks me up, so I use it here in Boston, and everyone looks at me like I’ve hit my head on something.

Soup: What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
I have a delightfully cute calendar comprised entirely of photos of one of my friend’s children. It’s an improvement over my mother’s frequent calendar gifts, which while good intentioned are usually comprised of things like cats with hats or Harry Potter. I have enough challenges at work – I don’t need to hang one of those bad boys up over my desk and become a laughing stock. Besides, there’s no room anymore after I put up all my Klingon translation charts.

Salad: Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
I’m not a big phone guy. My roomate speaks on his phone all night long. More than most 12 year old girls. He’s social, he misses his friends, I understand. But it’s foreign to me. There are few things I’d rather do less than chit-chat on the phone. “So anyway, I’d better let you go.” is how I answer it.

Main Course: If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know – who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
I’d buy Venditti a purple velour tux, because I’m pretty sure he’d wear it to his wedding.

Dessert: What is the last beverage you drank?
“Lemonade! That cool refreshing drink…” The lemonade at the Au Bon Pain downstairs is so strong, I get a large one in the morning and drink it halfway and just refill it with water all day for 10 hours of lemony goodness. Kind of like non-alcoholic swish.

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