Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Thursday Throwback: On Tooting on the T


in Boston, Thursday Throwback

subway-fart Although I no longer have to ride the “T” (Boston’s subway system) back and forth to work everyday, many mental – and nasal – scars remain. Five years and one month since today’s Throwback was written, on January 20th, 2005, I’m older, wiser and with car. My six plus years of blog posts are strewn with T experiences, but I came across this one today, it made me laugh and I want to share. For those of you still sentenced to the insane daily events on our fair city’s rapid transit system – I apologize if this sounds at all snooty. I did my time, however, and feel like I’ve earned the right to cast scorn down upon those who do unto others with their inconsiderate morning egg farts. You bastards.

Once upon a T, on a particular January morning, there was a “perfect storm” of sorts during my commute. My disgust with fellow riders who felt it perfectly acceptable to bust off in a crowded subway car reached an all time high and I simultaneously witnessed what I thought for a moment might be an escaped Ted Kaczynski. I’ll leave it there and you can have a gander if you so desire. Or maybe just a silly goose.

{ 1 Comment }

Wednesday Wadio: Magnetic Fields “Fear of Trains”


in Wednesday Wadio

I professed my love of the Magnetic Fields in a post about a different song a couple of years ago, and I don’t care to repeat that level of gushingment. I am prepared, however, to make up words. Click the link above for my analysis of Mr. Merritt and his team as today I’m just going to get right into their song Fear of Trains which is probably my favorite. I also chose the MagFields today as they recently played Boston and I was shocked to see this particular ditty on the setlists of both their shows at the Wilbur Theater.

Fear of trains, railroads or anything related to train travel is clinically referred to as Diderodromophobia and must be a real bummer for anyone living in West Yorkshire. My quick explication is that the song describes a Native American woman who has developed a literal fear of trains because they’ve been harbingers of unfortunate events throughout her entire life.

Cover version. By Lisa Loeb’s Stalker. A for Effort.

It was the army train that took her daddy from her
It was the bible train that took her momma too
And that high loud whistle made her horse run away
But the straw the broke the camel’s back was you
It was the government train that took away her childhood
It was the KKK that took away her past
It was the white man’s will that hers be broken
But that barefoot girl could run too fast

I don’t have time today to dig into Wild West history references, but the theme is pretty clear. “The straw that broke the camel’s back was you”, is obviously a veiled reference to Thomas the Tank Engine. And is there some hidden chapter of the KKK’s evil past that we don’t know about? Maybe they were originally train spotting hobbyists whose club rules got a little out of hand? Intrigued, I looked for more information on several “song meaning” sites and found the same basic conjecture as my own. No one caught on to my TTTE theory though, so you heard that here first.

Live with Claudia on lead. Please seek out the original recording!

It’s my habit on Wadio to embed several easy-to-watch/listen to videos so you can see what all the my fuss is about. An original version of Fear of Trains is sadly absent from any of the big vid sites, so we’ll have to take what we can get. I’ve featured a reasonable cover of the song by some enthusiastic emo chick with a mini-harp. There’s also a live video above but the female “field”, Claudia Gonson, is the one belting it out and effectively ruining the… effect for me – you have to hear it with the original recording’s guitar picking and Merritt’s deep, dead pan vocals bemoaning the tragedy. What to do, what to do?

Well, if you’re a user you can listen to Fear of Trains on Last FM. You can also shell out the wisest $0.99 of your young life and Download Fear Of Trains from Amazon. I promise you – it’s extremely unlikely you’ll be sorry unless you’re also deaf. If you know the song, or seek it out as a result of this post, please share your thoughts and comments. Until next week, Wadioheads.

{ 2 Comments }

Shepherd has a Licking Problem


in Animalistic

boston-terrier The award for all-time best licking problem obviously has to go to Charles. But Charles only ever seemed to lick ghosts, air, drafts or whatever. You never see him licking the sweet Christ out of his owners in the famous video. You never see him licking the floor, furniture, light fixtures or anything else that might cause some sort of domestic offense – just his own damn self. No harm, no foul, no rash on the back of your hand.

On the other hand, my Boston Terriers Shepherd, Rhubarb and Pixie will lick anything that isn’t nailed down. Let me rephrase that – they’ll lick absolutely anything. And they won’t stop. Ever. Until Sarah Connor is dead. Obviously they aren’t Terminators, but if someone were to suggest that possibility to me I’d seriously consider it – because it makes no less sense than watching Shepherd do nothing but tongue a couch cushion for the lion’s share of an afternoon.

Pixie and Shep have a licking problem.

I knew there was a problem, or at least a trend, when I started sitting down on furniture – my bed even – and finding myself smack dab in wet spots. And not the fun kind. They are not large animals so the time, concentration and saliva required to soak half of a comforter is considerable. Spellbinding, even. But don’t take my word for it. See the little weirdos in action for yourself above. And for the love of God, will one of my old Vermont Academy friends please send me a box of salt licks, stat!

{ 3 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Lord Stanley’s Situation


in Friday's Quizzlet

Appetizer: If you had the choice of sitting on the bench while your team wins the Stanley Cup, or playing a regular shift on a team that stinks, which would you choose? – Chris C.

mike-the-situation-abs Is there such thing as a Stanley Cup Ring that I can wear to bars in the interest of going home with whomever I choose as a result? Because that would seriously influence my answer. “Your breath smells like a dead skunk.” I couldn’t agree with you more, Snookie. Have you seen my Lord Stanley Ring? “Do you promise to sleep in the wet spot?” No. “OK, let’s go.” You know, that sort of situation. See what I did there?

Soup: What is the biggest challenge in being an international man of mystery (the Boston/Portland thing)? – Kate L.

boss-cat-in-sink I actually have a real, practical answer for this. It’s my cats. Everyone remembers Boss but I also inherited my parent’s cat, Spud, a year ago and I now have two of them. If anything ever happened to Spud, or I gave him away, Bonnie would find a way to kick my ass from the hereafter – so I’ll be a cat owner until they both expire and that’s going to be at least 5 years by my math. When I was a “cat person”, I used to say that one of the huge advantages to having them as pets was their independence. You can leave them alone for long periods of time. But I was wrong – see a dog you can take with you, just about anywhere. So they tag along when I head to the States. But the cats have to be looked after by someone. Currently my friend and neighbor, Sam, has moved them in with him. That, however, is a lot to ask and won’t last forever. So yeah – the biggest challenge to my border-hopping lifestyle are my two furry friends. Love ‘em, but it’s a concern. Especially since we’re considering renting the lake house for half of the summer. And not to Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

Salad: What is the best way to inadvertently annoy Alexa B. using Facebook? – Janet P.

There are a few tangible and effective options here:

  1. Refer to everyone as “Mase” – except her.
  2. Complain on her wall that her annual Christmas swap isn’t exclusive enough. Then, show up shitfaced wearing smeared clown makeup.
  3. Pee the bed. With her in it. You can’t really do this via Facebook, but I can guarantee you that it works.
  4. In the comments under a picture of Fox, write “When are they going to add the option to DISLIKE something?”
  5. Create a group called “Cato is Hung Like a Budgie” and get a minimum of 1,000 members.

Main Course: Do gay men hit on you incessantly when you walk your dog(s) with their stylish couture? – Greg W.

Greg, I assume your question stems from my recent upload of this:

My Daddy’s big with the gays.

I don’t think there’s much chance of me being admired in Charlestown. I’m not sure any gay guys even know where Charlestown is. Were I walking the dogs through the South End, however, there’s a good chance I’d wake up slung over a see-saw in Peter’s Park.

Dessert: Do you find yourself having more intelligent conversations with your dogs than you do people these days? – Sarah G.

Absolutely not. If anyone were to ever place a hidden camera or digital recorder in my house they’d be able to capture some of the most non-sensical gibberish ever uttered by a human man. But what’s a statement like that without an example? I may regret this. Here is a song I reworked out loud until I got it just right over the course of my unnecessary snow day on Wednesday:

pixie-closeup My dog is Pixie,
Pixie is my dog.
It’s uncanny she resembles,
A retarded bullfrog.
I love my little Pix,
She likes to pick up sticks.
And soon she’ll help me pick up some hot chicks.

If any of that classifies as “intelligent” in your book, then the answer to your question is a resounding “yes”. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve really got to get started dying alone.

{ 8 Comments }