Has anyone else noticed that the evil girl (Ellen Page) in the new movie Hard Candy is Treena Lahey from Trailer Park Boys? Remember in Seasons one and two Mr. Lahey had a daughter living with him who wasn’t allowed to hang out with Ricky? Just me? OK. Well regardless, that’s her. I liked this movie a lot better when it was called Poison Ivy/The Crush but good for Ellen! She’s also in X3. Another Canuck on the foreward invasion force.
Careening Off The Bleeding Edge.
Do y’all get curious on those rare occasions where I talk about or let you in for a glimpse of what I do for a living? It’s rare, and for good reason – I have other blogs where I talk about SEO, and far too few hours in the day to prattle on about it incessantly. This is where I come to make the hooker jokes. Anyhew, in the next few days you’ll see me linking out to lots of strange things, and I just want you to know there’s a method to the madness.
More and more of my friends and neighbors are taking their businesses online, or going to work for companies with significant web presences. I’m going to save everyone a lot of money – because nobody wants to pay for this shit anyway. Here’s how you improve your Google rankings: Get sites to link to yours using your target market’s top search keywords. If I hypothetically had a client who sold Red Sox Tickets, for example – I would want to facilitate as many links as I could to their site which also read Red Sox Tickets. Your ultimate success depends on your budget (people won’t link to you for free, and reciprocal links cancel eachother out since the last big algorithm update) your patience and the competition. It’s bleeding edge stuff. Guerilla marketing. And surprisingly, not all that fun in the long run. You have little control over the results ultimately, and we all know how clients like those pesky “results”.
So forgive me over the next week or so if I drift into conversations about office coffee. Look the other way if I begin sweating whilst extrapolating about precision gauges or Amnisure. I’m not pregnant or studying to be an airplane mechanic. I’m just working here.
Monday’s Quotelet: What’s That Shit Called Again?
The bird flu task force on the lookout for bird flu in Bucharest were startled when an APB came through for a “crazy guy with bird flu”. It was quickly determined to be a false alarm, as the dispatcher had apparently fallen victim to bird flu.
Brunelli’s Standup Video.
Mark’s brother Dave videotaped the show I wrote about Thursday night, and they’ve posted it on YouTube. Just press play!
Friday’s Quizzlet: The Itsy Bitsy Quizzy.
Shh, quizzlet. Daddy’s busy.
Appetizer: What is the last thing you had to have repaired?
I had the band repaired on an old Roots watch about 15 minutes ago. I found it while cleaning my room this week and dropped it off today while having lunch at the Sidebar. I found some of the damndest other things, too – photos I’d forgotten about, my dayplanner from University, home movies, etc.
Soup: If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?
I’d invest the first thousand in a mutual fund, and give the other thousand to the Animal Rescue League of Boston.
Salad: What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?
I’ve already beaten this one to death, Falco.
Main Course: You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?
Kitties and puppies. Alternately, if it were a shit pet store that only sells fish and crickets, crickets.
Dessert: On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?
I’m a solid 7. I walk about 25 miles a week, and go to the gym in my office building, too.