And what to my wondrous eyes just appeared? But a beam of sunshine through my office window, dear. If I had my camera here, I’d snap it for you – as it’s quite glorious. The first sun Boston has had in 8 days. I can’t remember a rainy stretch like this, and I’m glad to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m not actually a schizophrenic whaler from Blackpool.
The sun has a downside, however, and that is that our beloved homeless population will be back out in full force come dryness. But I have procured a new anti-homeless device I’d like to readily endorse and encourage you all to use to your benefit in this beleagured city. It doesn’t actually harm them, and it’s great for the bleeding hearts because afterwards you’d even be able to release them back into the wild if they weren’t there already.
It’s called an iPod, and it’s effectiveness is staggering. Whenever a ‘lost soul’ lurches into my path and demands money, I simply point innocently at my headphones and say – “Sorry Sir, but I’m listening to Strangeways Here We Come at this point in time and can’t really engage you at the moment. Did you want to discuss French drama? Perhaps invite me to a spring fête? You know, you look like a bit of a trainspotter. It’s a real tragedy I’ll never know the reason for your advance because I simply can’t hear you at this juncture.”
Oh, and tazer guns are really good too.
