Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Wednesday Weigh-In #4: Ham-Handed Heifers


in

It’s that time again, bountiful boys and girls. We’re down to 7 participants from the original 15. Some opted out and some disappeared like the first 2 little pigs. The herd has been culled – only the serious pork-assers remain. 8 weeks and many pounds left to go – so let’s look at this week’s bad news.



– Monster >> Current: 265 / Last Week – 268 / Target 255 / Lost 3
– Smash >> Current: 138 / Last Week – 138.5 / Target 129 / Lost .5
– Pyeman >> Current: 226 / Last Week – 227 / Target 210 / Lost 1
– DVS >> Current 246 / Last Week – 248 / Target 210 / Lost 2
– Aubz >> Current: 134 / Last Week – 134 /Target 125 / Lost 0
– BDoyle >> Current: 188 – / Last Week – 187 / Target 175 / Gained 1
– Piglet >>> Current: 145 / Last Week – 147 / Target 135 / Lost 2.5
– Not Lance >>> Current: 171 / Last Week – 171 / Target 161 / Lost 0
– Greg >> Current: 187 / Last Week – 195 / Target 170 / Lost 8
– Venditti >> Current: 230 / Last Week – 232 / Target 219 / Lost 2
– Ka-Rista >> Current: 158 / Last Week – 158 / Target 140 / Lost 0

DVS is making steady progress, as is Smash and I am back on track after two heavy weekends. Not Lance is a seemingly serious new addition. Hang in there, piglets – we’re getting there. I am finding this easier and easier as my stomach shrinks and Red Cross humanitarian aid packages drop through my ceiling. Pretty soon Angelina will adopt me and I’ll finally be heir to the Pitt millions. This is going swimmingly.

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A Plea For Photographs.


in

I left my camera at home Saturday night, so I have little in the way of the incriminating evidence you all know I like to post in my gallery. As it was Janet’s 30th – I’d really like to get my hands on whatever is out there. If you attended, and you have some good photos, please send them my way, posthaste.

On that note, thanks to all who came, especially Penny from Toronto, as you made her night. A truly great time was had by all, and I almost want to turn 30 again now myself. Help me out.

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Friday Is Pyeday.


in

I wasn’t sent a quizzlet today, so I apologize for the lack of one. The parents just arrived in town for JP’s 30th, and they’re going to be rocking my roofdeck in about an hour. Like Lenscrafters. I am excited to see them, as its been months, and this whole weekend should be a doozy. I am looking forward to the birthday party tomorrow, where my most awesome secret surprise for Janet will finally be revealed! No, Jenna Jameson will not be attending.

I know, I know. I haven’t mentioned Squidoo in a long time and you’re all getting edgy. Again, my sincerest regrets. I am mentioning it today because I got my first check from them today – percentages of revenue my lenses generate from the ads on them. What am I going to spend my $22 on? I’m taking suggestions.

You may have noticed the new graphic in the left column. You may have also masturbated in the shower this morning. I passed my very difficult Google Adwords Marketing Professional exam, and am now allowed to put that up there for ya. I haven’t taken a test in a very long time, and I’ll tell ya – they were not fond memories. I was tempted to start peeing in a small cup.

Speaking of piss, a friend and I watched the most recent episode of Trailer Park Boys the other night entitled “High-Definition Piss Jugs”. It was, without a doubt, the funniest one I have ever seen, and may replace “Who’s the Microphone Assassin” as my all time favorite. I never thought I’d see myself type that. Interest in a TPB marathon has been amazingly positive, and those of you in the know can expect an Evite next week. This season is the best since #3, and I’m so happy they found their groove again.

I think I’ve exposed my nerdery enough for one day, Boston. Enjoy the weather. Rampant roofdeckery season begins anew.

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JP’s Birthday At The Red Fez – The Final Countdown.


in Heartwarming

When Pyes have birthdays, the weather usually tries to end the family line. I don’t know if one of my Norse ancestors insulted Zeus or frigging Beowulf or found the Monkey’s Paw or whatever. But it never fails. My Cinco de Mayo/JP’s b-day parties have been marred by torrential downpours 4 of the last times, and my 30th saw the biggest snowstorm that had hit Boston in 20 years. But, barring locusts, we’re on for Saturday night for Japes’ 30th at the Red Fez.

I have been planning parties for a long time, and attending them for even longer, so I thought I’d compile a list of things I’ve learned over the years. And perhaps a few pet peeves. If you’re coming, this info may prove useful and avoid potential party fouls.

1. Please refrain from ever using the term “party foul”.
2. Don’t ask me what time you should be there. There’s been an Evite, discussion on the blog, and you’re also probably over the age of 6. Parties on Saturday nights start between 8 & 9, unless they’re being held at a preschool or in the activity room of an institution not permitted to provide forks.
3. If you don’t know how to get there, please look on the Evite, Google it or look at the restaurant’s website that I’ve linked to several times now before you set out. I am not good at driving directions, especially in the South End, and the only way in which I’d be able to help you is to pass my phone to someone else or light a fucking car on fire in front of the joint.
4. If you know Janet, and she doesn’t want to hit you for any reason, you’re invited. If you didn’t get the Evite it’s an oversight and do not take it personally. My friends included.
5. Have an exit strategy. Unless you’re somehow related, or part of my inner, inner circle, I don’t have after hour parties anymore. It sucks, but it’s not worth the neighborhood grief I get.
6. If you’re on the Evite, reply to it. It makes her feel good.

That’s about it for now. I hope to see y’all there, and please remember – Don’t feed Gordo any liquor.

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