I mentioned yesterday that my Sopranos lens had been featured and was getting mad traffic. This morning, Squidoo sent out an official “Lens of the Day” release, and I thought I would share. I added a couple of bulletpoints for comedic effect. See if you can sniff them out. Should be quite a challenge:

After a long hiatus, the critically acclaimed HBO series THE SOPRANOS is back. And the fans are going wild. Dave Pye’s lens, Bada Bing: The Sopranos Central, puts any “official” site about the show to shame. This is where you can look up what’s going down on Sunday nights:

Dave‘s no slouch when it comes to his other lenses, either. He’s a top-notch lensmaster with a humorous tone and a great sense of the creativity and flexibility of a lens. Our community guru, Heath Row, did a recent Q&A with him. Here are some interesting comments and bits of advice from the profile (thanks, Dave!):

• “Build a few good lenses and then branch out a little bit at a time.”
• “Get a pet roach (accidentally or otherwise) to ensure that you die alone.”
• “Several of my older lenses already have Google PR, so I know Squidoo is getting noticed and indexed. The speed in which you can assemble a reasonable lens is definitely a perk, as is the instant audience you get from other lensmasters.”
• “Die alone with a jar of Cheez Whiz in your hand beside a trunk of DVD porn.”
• “I think there will be room for a lot of personal creativity from everyone…”

Read more about Dave and his lenses at SquidU, our center for better building and promoting of lenses.

…We’re better than that. My Sopranos site made lens of the day today on Squidoo. And here you thought I’d been suddenly and violently de-geeked, or something. I am enjoying the season so far, and invite you all to buy the DVDs and books from me so I can afford that kidney transplant. And by ‘kidney transplat’ – I of course mean Puerto Rican prostitute.

On an unrelated note, I’d like to thank Mean Art Green for pointing out an important anniversary this fine afternoon. It seems that on this day, in 1834, the eating of cats was finally outlawed – in this country, anyway. Dogs and cats are still snackworthy in many Asian countries:

The cats fair little better – arriving in cages, dozens of top of each other, and some dead, wondering in bewilderment what they have done to deserve this treatment. They are also hoisted by the neck with metal tongs from cage to cage – as they are “sorted” between different traders. For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen them actually tortured to death – their dispatch is pretty fast, stunning and a slitting of the throat – the ritual of torture, seems to be more reserved for dogs historically.

I would imagine cats would be really stringy and tough – where a dog might be more like rabbit. The most frigged up thing I ever ate was a piece of whale meat. While I’m throwing that out there because I love to annoy bleeding hearts – however, it’s true. Stop busting my chops about not liking seafood, and no more whales have to die. Cats and dogs I’d never try though. I wouldn’t want to risk chipping my teeth on the tags.

Oh kittens, in our hours of ease,
Uncertain toys and full of fleas.
When pain and anguish hang o’er men,
We turn you into sausage then. – Olde English Rhyme

We’ve already approached the Roach Brooch topic, and I explained how I was going to work with the designer who actually makes them as an affiliate marketer, due to all the traffic I get for related terms. Last week I set up tracking, and actually sold a live cockroach brooch!

I also ran a few test orders to make sure the tracking pixels were working properly, as you do – and they went through. I emailed my contact there and told him to be sure to cancel them. So that’s the last I really thought of it. Until I walked into the kitchen this morning and noticed a package for me from Utah. It can only mean one thing – I now own a live $80 hissing cockroach brooch.

I haven’t opened the package yet. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with him. I have already named him “Hissy” (He is a Madagascar hissing cockroach), and I am thinking of sending an intern out to get a terrarium so he can become the office pet. He is encrusted with jewels afterall. They also include a clip that allows you to wear him on your shirt while he squirms around and stuff.

So what do I do with Hissy? Send him back (he will probably die if I do that). Put him on Craig’s list and look for some tartantula obsessed Dungeons and Dragons geek to give him a new home? Start wearing him to Tiernans? Your suggestions are appreciated. Hissy needs a piece of banana and a moist cottonball STAT.