And a massive tool! Regardless, I am being interviewed by Squidoo and featured as a leading Lensmaster. I think I am currently #6 or #7 out of a few thousand. I am getting emails out of the blue from marketing professionals from all over the world, and I want to strip naked to the waist and rub Squidoo all over my chest right now. Anybody look familiar?:

Click here to see my profile and lengthening list of lenses. And this is my personal lens. I will let you know when the interview is live, and I’m going to try and make it funny without scaring off all of my new potential collaborators. I am such a nerd, I am actually steaming right now. I’m a nerd. But I know I’m a nerd. And that almost makes me cool.

Well raise my rent. Or the roof. Who ever thought you’d see a title like that here on PITF? Unfortunately, Gary Puppa is in most of the photos too. For example – please marvel as Fat Joe (aka Joey Crack) represents with Gary (aka Gazza, aka Hairdoo) backstage at the Toyota Center in Houston. Gary obviously taught him how to throw up Burlington crips signs, and the publicity will undoubtedly lead to scores of wannabe Eminem fist fights in front of Emma’s Back Porch.

Anyway, Puppa – most recently of the dispicable and sacreligious Christmas Eve in Toronto fame – owns a pretty cool company which allows him to work for the NBA. You may remember three years ago when he was snapped bothering Beyonce. Then there was the time Nikki Hilton tried to goose him behind one of the beer carts. And how can I forget that party where Saget tried to scoop Pupp’s peeler? Always the trooper, he was back again this year, and he’s sent me a gallery‘s worth of new hip-hopping-hob-knobbing pics. Also of note, Gazza mugging with DMC and Mike Jones.

I want to quickly point out that Gary actually asked me to go with him, and I want to give him a quick shout-out and thanks. Houston is like my second home. If Joey Crack and I didn’t currently have mad beef, I would have been there with Timberlands on. And what’s up with Ronald McDonald? I thought Chris Penn died last month. Also in attendance – Nelly, George Clinton and you’ll even see Ice Cube messin’ around and gettin’ a triple-double. Peep dis.

Mardi Gras celebrations went ahead despite the aftermath of Katrina. However residents no longer throw beads at half naked women. They eat them.

“You Know How You’re Being A Dick Right Now? Just Do That.” – Bubbles

Oh my everloving Christ. Please watch this immediately.

Alright so I’m trying to get another Squidoo lens spidered. So what? I’ve been working on this one a lot – chock full o’ content and probably one of the biggest lenses out there. So please have a look at my new Red Sox Tickets page. Then rub yourself. Repeat.

It’s shaping up to be a nice little weekend. A few laughs with the coworkers tonight, and a party at the Shit Disturber’s in Charlestown tomorrow. And I’m sure you can guess what I’ll be filling the rest of the time with. That’s right – furious Squidoo lens building. I have a problem.