Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor
Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.
I just got my slammin’ new Canon S500 Powershot in the mail, and wanted to kick the teezees on it, bilznatch. Lemme holla at you for a minute. Peep dis:
And while I’m at it, why not big up my awesome new desk location while I’m spittin’? Yeah, that’s a view of Boston Common barely visible behind me. Yeah, those are some University pictures on my desk and Some Rat Pack parephanelia on the wall. Ill-fitting Maple Leaf cap? Check, bitches. Don’t funk with the sick office stylings, B!
I love the Google toolbar – and yes I’d marry it if I could. Credit Card Autofill is the greatest creation since penicillin, and makes it incredibly easy for me to rack up hundreds of dollars worth of useless crap on eBay. Like the old joke goes, maybe I didn’t really need the entire first season of Mama’s Family on VHS. Regardless, as you may guess, I’m like a kid on Christmas morning when an update is announced. The current new additions include:
The coolest new feature by far, however, is the gallery of custom buttons that has been added. They currently include Slashdot, the New York Times, CNET and others – but I imagine the community will start to suggest, or even create, a slew of new ones. My first installs were Dictionary.com and a Weather checker. Site owners will have the ability to create their own buttons and add them to the gallery should they be approved. More good things from Google, and you can install the beta right now by clicking here.
Appetizer: Choose one – Popcorn, Pizza, Pretzels, Peanuts, or Pasta.
Right. Feta cheese, garlic and Kalamata olive Greek pizza from New London Style in Concord. Salivating and rubbing myself at the mere thought. Don’t ever go there with Jim, though. Most of the children in C-town learned to swear when they were unfortunate enough to be in that shop when Jim was there. Just don’t drop his sub on the floor and you’be fine.
Soup: Describe your personality in terms of a particular vehicle.
I try to be very reliable. So what is that, a Chevy truck? An Everglade hovercraft? I’m not sure. It’s Today’s Chevrodave.
Salad: If you won a shopping spree, from which store would you want it to be?
Best Buy or Circuit City. I’d grab a shopping cart and head straight for the DVD section. Weekend at Bernie’s 2, One Tough Cop, Gone Fishin’. Leaving just enough time to make sure I could swing over and get a huge flatscreen TV, too. Lives are in aisle 5.
Main Course: Which television show re-runs do you enjoy watching?
I watch Sanford and Son like it’s what I was born to do. It’s the funniest sitcom in history, hands down. “Esther, Why don’t you go open up the freezer and make some ugly-sicles”. And Grady has got to be my favorite TV character of all time. Regardless of how his career continues to become uninteresting, I will always respect Eddie Murphy for paying for Redd Foxx’s funeral.
Dessert: If you could look into the future, how far down the road would you see?
I’d just like to be assured that I will neither die alone, nor be the end of my family line. Everything else is pretty unimportant. I’ve said it before though – a trunk of DVD porn will also probably suffice.
I’ve been eluding to my acting debut somewhat recently, and have been receiving many questions from friends and talent agents alike. Perhaps it is time I just came clean about my impending thespianism. And all the necrophelia. But I’ll just stick to the silly play for the time being. It’s called Don’t be Afraid of the Dark and was written in the early 90s by a guy named Tim Kelly. Here is the official synopsis from my copy of the script:
“Weird playwright Sebastian Sly, author of such all-time bombs as Dial M for Morose, The Cat and the Canard, and Ten Little Ninjas, lives in a creepy old mansion called The Shadows. His arch enemy is the clever, but snide, drama critic Sylvia Frye. She hates stage thrillers and with her ruthless reviews, has forced Sebastian into retirement. In revenge, Sebastian invites her to his home where all manner of chills and thrills are trotted out to convince her she’s wrong about his work. We meet an hilarious “cast:†The murderous Creeper; an old actress noted for her shattering screams; a butler named Skull and a housekeeper named Bones and that’s just the beginning. Two likeable innocents, Zip and Lilac, show up and are terrorized by the insane goings-on. Ultimately, Sylvia exposes the plot. But Sylvia gets hers in the end!”
So which one of these ridiculous sounding characters do I play? What persona will be my first foray into the acting world? None of them. I play a stupid cop who shows up 2 or three times, scratches himself and looks for the escaped mental patient. The scratching admittedly was my idea, and the very flexible director has excitedly encouraged me to stop it immediately. But I got some laughs last night during the first real rehearsal, and I think I can make it funny and memorable. Right now I’m working on this whole Puddy meets Ace Ventura thing which I think will work.
My audition went something like this: My co-worker Sean – “You look kinda like Vincent D’Onofrio and I think you could play a big stupid cop in this play my friend is directing.” Dave – “Thank you?” After the tragedy of yesterday, there’s a new opening, afterall. I just didn’t want anyone to think the spectre of Lee Strasberg had visitied me in a dream or anything and told me to stop wasting my life at my current job. Because my father tells me that enough for the entire cast of Thir13en Ghosts.
The schtick will run March 19-21 (5 performances) at the Improv Asylum in the North End, and all proceeds will go to the North End Music and Performing Arts Center of which I am now apparently a supporter. I’m also now officially a member of the ACT 1 Players. Tickets are $10 and I’ll provide more details to anyone who’d like to come closer to the date. It’s a great group of fun people, and I’m having a scary but educational time. We’re looking to make this as funny as possible, and we’re working with an experienced director with whom I’ve become fast friends. You may just enjoy yourselves if you decide to stop by. May.