Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Axel Foley? Shiiit, Negro – That’s All You Had To Say!


in Movies

I was about to write another scathing, vagrant-slagging tirade after reading this awful article (so much for moving to the ‘Couv), but I’ve already done it to death. “We get it, Dave – you’re an anti-homeless crusader for the greater good“. Luckily something else triggered a sudden fit of movie fanboy nerdery and you’ve all been spared – for today, anyway.

Albeit from the Sun, this article claims that wunderkind Quentin Tarantino has been talking to Eddie Murphy about directing him in… wait for it… Beverly Hills Cop 4. Samuel L. can take over as the always-angry Chief Todd, and Travolta can enhance the old Paul Reiser role. Uma Thurman will cancel out any need for Brigitte Nielsen, and Rosewood and Taggart will have their revolvers replaced by Desert Eagles. Come on – it’ll be fun, motherfucka.

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Apathy Trumps Empathy Every Time.


in

As I cut across Boylston street this morning on my way to Park Plaza, I noticed a man making strange gestures and swearing to himself while staring at the ground. Had it still been this past weekend, I’d have just said “Good morning, Dad” – but alas, the old man is 350 miles away. So I knew I was about to cross paths with yet another of Boston’s lost souls.

He was weaving erratically back and forth across the sidewalk, scattering frightened oncoming pedestrians like a beaver barreling through bullrushes. I slowed my pace down to try and anticipate the best way to pass him without a cootie crossover, and as I focused my full attention on the man I realized three very alarming things. The first was that he was only wearing dirty socks on his feet. The second was that he was wearing blue hospital pants. The third was that we were less than a block away from the New England Medical center.

When I sat down at my desk a few minutes later, I looked at my telephone and thought about dialing 911 to report a possible escaped mental patient. But then I realized I was in the epicenter of the metropolitan liberal stronghold that is Boston, MA. And that he’d probably gotten $6 in change, a cup of soup and a handjob off an Emerson student by the time I’d reached my office door.

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Waste Not, Want Nautilus.


in Movies

Back in October, when I was in the throes of a self-imposed, month long sobriety experiment – I stayed in on a Saturday night and wrote a strange article about Disney’s old school 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea Ride. When I re-read it now, it’s quite funny and definitely the work of someone who is pining for a lost childhood memory. And definitely not used to being sober on a Saturday night. Regardless, I read this amazing article yesterday about a sub-wreck that’s been rediscovered off the coast of Panama:

“A British explorer has found an early submarine that he believes was the inspiration for Nautilus, Captain Nemo’s vessel in Jules Verne’s novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea.”

“She was built in 1864 by a visionary craftsman, Julius Kroehl, for the Union forces during the American Civil War. But the boat, called Explorer, was never used in the conflict and was subsequently taken to Panama where she was used to harvest pearls.”

A maritime museum in Canada had a record of the ship’s final resting place, and asked the explorer to check on it when they heard he was in the area. The Explorer was the first primitive sub to have a reversible airlock which allowed crew members to leave and then return to the ship whilst it was submerged. The museum had an 141 year old written report on the demise of the Explorer which detailed the abandonment of the ship and the simultaneous deaths of the entire crew… but it wasn’t from drowning!

“The submarine, which measures 36ft by 10ft, was lying in under 10ft of water off Isla San Telmo, an island in an archipelago known as The Pearl Islands, since being abandoned after three years in the pearl industry. Her crew all died from what was described then as a “fever”, but what was more likely to have been the bends after they regularly submerged to about 100ft to work.”

Read the full article if you’d like. It’s amazing how yesterday’s trash becomes an influencial, modern treasure. It’s also amazing how whomever I leant my 20,000 Leagues DVD to has not yet returned it. Still more amazing is the fact that I just admitted I forget who I leant it to, and thus will never see it again. May ye get the bends, ye scallywag!

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Rules Of The Road.


in

My sister and I spent 15 hours in a Subaru Outback together this weekend. In the interests of diplomacy, and all around getting along, some road rules quickly emerged.

  1. Whoever is driving gets to pick the music.
  2. Janet’s iPod is only allowed to play through fully once. Two words: Scissor Sisters.
  3. Dave has to remain alert during the Thruway/Turnpike transition at Albany. This stems from my taking the wrong exit on the way home at Christmas and adding 2 hours to our 9 hour trip back from Toronto.
  4. Family Guy: Live in Vegas shouldn’t be played all the way through.
  5. Whoever is driving gets to use the cupholder.

It’s good to be back, and I’ll go into more trip details when I’m not so severely, severely tired. Most people pay other people to landscape. They don’t drive 15 hours to volunteer.

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