Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Friday’s Quizzlet: Miraculous Doritos.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: What is a symbol that inspires you?
There’s a flag you can get – I looked for a photo online but unfortunately couldn’t find one for you – which is a combination of the Canadian and American flags. I’ve seen them flying both up North and down here, usually close to the border, and they always make me smile. The disconnect, animosity and ignorance from both sides towards the other tears me up a little bit as I feel a close affinity with both nations. But I can always take a little solace in Mark Steyn.

Soup: Name something that happened in your life you’d consider a miracle.
Does the $40 scratch ticket on New Year’s Eve 1993 count? Didn’t think so. I’ve had a great life thus far – but nothing really stands out as an Earth-shattering miracle. That’s a very strong word. Even the Goddamn Pope died. A family member just had a potentially very scary MRI scan come back negative – so I’m going to go with that.

Salad: How do you handle criticism?
With salad tongs. But seriously, folks – not all that well. If you ever run into me on the street, naked and covered with chocolate syrup and beestings – that’s me handling criticism. But you should really get a shower and a beekeeper’s uniform before leaving the house next time. What in the fuck is wrong with you?

Main Course: Complete this sentence: I feel alone when…
I am in a room by myself. But it’s only a matter of time until the voices in my head show up. I’ve saved thousands on therapy because I’ve embraced these voices, and besides – they always bring along some Doritos.

Dessert: Name one TV show you wouldn’t be caught dead watching.
I’m not one to talk, as I watch a lot of reality television. The easy answer would be something like Antiques Roadshow. But I friggin’ love Antiques Roadshow – so I’m in a bit of a pickle again. Let’s split the difference and say anything on Lifetime starring Meredith Baxter Birney. Unless they’re doing a biopic on one of the appraisers from Antiques Roadshow.

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Reasons To Bring Me On Outside Sales Calls.


in Movies

I’ve been away all morning because I was asked to tag along on a sales call in Stoughton. Although it’s not my forte, I always seem to do quite well in these situations. A proper sales guy goes out to see a potential client and I tag along to explain some of the more geeky aspects of search engine marketing. So, if you think you might need a proven closer to accompany you on your next prospecting mission, here are some reasons you should pick me:

  1. I will never break wind (audibly) whilst giving a Power Point.
  2. I will massage your neck, in front of the client, before and after every question you are asked. Think Rocky and Mick.
  3. Should the client fail to offer you a beverage upon our arrival, I will cough loudly until they wise up. Or at least until I am escorted out by security.
  4. As soon as we are asked about R.O.I. I will look around the room and whisper loudly to you “I guess they don’t want this Roy guy to know we’re talking about him”.
  5. To make sure the client doesn’t think we’re trying to fleece them with marketing-babble, I will combine several overused phrases into a brand new one: “Leveraging low hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box”.
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The Boys Of Summer.


in

I slid through a pile of something unspeakable on the sidewalk across from the Orpheum this morning. And as I looked down upon a foul-smelling mix of partially digested soup kitchen ziti and broken whiskey bottle glass, a realization hit me like the scent of stomach acid in August – they’re baaaaaack.

Those of you who’ve been reading Pye In The Face for a while know where I stand on the homeless. Have a look at those two links if you need a refresher or another reason to dislike me. I honestly feel bad for people who’ve lost their way and have ended up living rough due to mental illness or addiction. But the line has to be drawn somewhere. Boston has, what seems to me, a disproportionate number of vagrants, drunks and hobos. And to make it worse, a good number of them are super-aggressive, foul-mouthed and even violent.

I traverse the majority of downtown twice every single day on my way to and from work. So before you bite my head off for being cold-hearted, ask yourself if you’ve got a good working knowledge of our local rabble. And imagine what tourists, senior citizens, children, etc. are exposed to when they come to visit this great historic city. Walking through the Common in another couple of weeks will make Calcutta look like Boca Raton.

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Amazing Music Quiz In My Bloggy Absence.


in Musical

Loyal readers – listen to me very carefully. Right click here and then opt to save the file to your desktop. Prepare to take the coolest music quiz there’s probably ever been. What you’ll see when you open the file are hundreds of photos of bands – type the correct band name into the corresponding cell and get a point. I look forward to finding the time, any time, to really try my hand at this. Come back later and post your scores.

UPDATE: This is killing my bandwidth and I’ve removed it. If you’d like me to email it to you, let me know.

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The Tale Of Lemmiwinks.


in

I’m not feeling particularly like writing anything today, as I’m up to my ears in the week from hell. But this made me laugh hysterically in the midst of my ordeal, and I wanted to share. It’s a bit on the rude side, so watch your volume. Here’s hoping we all find our Sparrow Prince, someday.

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