Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

The 10 Greatest Rock N’ Roll Myths.


in Musical

Since this past weekend has left me shivering like Keith Moon after a JD enema, and we spent last week discussing the merits of naming fish after dead rock stars, I thought I’d kick things off with this list of the 10 greatest rock myths of all time. Let’s talk about #10 for a second:

10: Led Zep and the mud shark
‘A pretty young groupie with red hair was tied to the bed,’ claimed Stephen Davis in Hammer of the Gods. ‘Led Zeppelin proceeded to stuff pieces of shark into her vagina and rectum.’ Not quite. Zep did catch sharks from the window of their hotel, but the pesce in question was actually a red snapper, while the perpetrator was road manager Richard Cole.

I am so relieved that was just a myth. I mean – can you even begin to imagine Jimmy Page standing over you trying to shove sushi up your chute? Thank goodness it was only Richard Cole and a snapper. Because as opposed to Robert Plant coming after your bum with a bucket of chum – that’s completely acceptable.

Yuck. Anyhew, I’ve been working on a new Pye In The Face gallery section which will debut sometime tonight with photos from Saturday’s Mardi Gras party. Thank you all for coming, and I’m glad it turned out to be such a silly bead-slinging soiree. Stay tuned for my next debaucherous creation, the 5th annual Cinco De Mayo party which will be held at the SideBar on Saturday, May 9th.

{ 4 Comments }

Gettin’ Tanked – In So Many Ways.


in

What a wonderful Saturday in human history. Not only is the big Mardi Gras party tonight, but the new fish tank is up, running and populated! Monster and I drove to the Galleria this morning and stocked up on supplies. I got a new light, food, 2 underwater Mayan castles, a net and even a new scratching post for the Boss. And what of the fish, you ask? You’ll remember earlier this week I was all excited about getting to choose what sort of fish I wanted. I even asked for suggestions. It turns out, the nice lady at Petco told me what sort of fish I had to buy. And they’re scarcely bigger than ants. I was disappointed. I’ll explain.

“You’re going to start off with three Tetras.” The lady turned her back to me and walked over to the tank she had in mind. I immediately balked – “I am? These guys are miniscule. May I ask why?” She didn’t appreciate my questioning her ultimate fishy wisdom. “Because. They’re hardy” came the strained reply. Obviously she meant that the little buggers were resilient, and a good way to kick off a new tank and balance out the PH levels before introducing more delicate additions. “What, like they solve mysteries together?” That got her laughing, and she ended up being quite helpful in the end. As opposed to the fat twat I initially took her for.

So she gave me three Tetras to start off with. Any more than three fish introduced at a given time can cause toxic shock to the rest of the community. They’re tiny (for scale see the one circled above to the right in front of the sacred Mayan temple) and indistinguishable from one another – so I’ve decided to call them the Hansons. Hopefully they won’t wrap foil around their fins and bash new fish into the glass. All in all, I think my little ecosystem is off to a ‘swimming’ start (LOL, ROFL, ROFLPM!) and I’ll keep you updated when I add new citizens. Cornett, Jodice and Jim will be here in half an hour for the party pre-game – at which point the Hansons won’t be the only residents of the apartment up to their eyeballs in filthy liquids.

{ 8 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: Raiders Of The Lost Backbone.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: Name 2 things you do that you consider beneficial to your health.
If you live in Boston, you’ve been to Haymarket. “Caahn on the caawb! Foaah fer a dollaah!” In addition to being a T-Stop, it’s an open air collection of farm stands which are assembled late every Thursday night and remain until early Saturday evening. It’s primarily composed of fruit stands but there’s a flower guy who looks like Frank Stallone, a row of fish stands the stench of which would make Quint‘s eyes water and it’s the only game in town if you like to watch Asians fight over rotten kumkwats. Anyway, once or twice a month I go down there on Saturday morning and buy bags of carrots, apples and celery. I fire up my juicer like Jay Kordich and the aforementioned combination makes for a lovely, energizing bevvie chock full of vitamin C, potassium and Absolut. That still leaves 1 more thing, huh? OK – #2: actually leaving my apartment to walk to Haymarket.

Soup: If you made a New Year’s resolution, how’s it going so far?
My New Year’s resolution was to, over the next 12 (well, 10.5 now) months, to complete all of the half-finished websites I have floating around out there. There’s the dog sweater pattern site, the boston interior designer site, the halloween site, the personal injury attorney site, the free condom site, the boston bar site, the cigar humidor site, the mesothelioma site and about 5 others. So yeah, as you can see it’s going wicked-well.

Salad: Name something that has happened lately that bothers you.
Don’t get me started. First off – Trump fired Danny last week! He was the only one on the college team with any creativity, whatsoever. Then Brigitte went to America with Foofie-Foofie, leaving her poor fiancee Matteo with little more than a broken heart and some proscuitto. And to top it all off, Da Brat is the only Surreal mansion resident who got a VH1 development deal. And I thought that Tsunami shit made for a bad week.

Main Course: What is your favorite quote, and who said it?
I just covered this last week. So I’ll provide my second favorite instead – from the movie Rushmore. It’s funny cause it’s true:

“But here’s my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.” -Herman Blume (Bill Murray).

Dessert: What do you collect?
I collect MP3s, DVDs and emotional baggage. I’ll have you know that I once earned a collector’s badge in Boy Scouts for my sensational photo album full of Raiders of the Lost Ark trading cards which I still have. Complete set. The cards are in perfect condition and as I’m writing this I’m slowly realizing they are probably worth something. Which is good – because the admission that I still have this childhood artifact in my room will likely force me to start paying for sex.

{ 2 Comments }

Our Lives In Song.


in Musical

Viral blog quizzes are cutesy and somewhat embarrassing to read, but I accidentally found one on a friend’s site that caught my eye. Please feel free to get all interactive-like and fill out your own in a comment. Here’s the rub:

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band.

Are you male or female: Nimrod’s Son
Describe yourself: Oh My Golly!
How do some people feel about you: Gigantic
How do you feel about yourself: I’m Amazed!
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Something Against You
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: I’ve Been Waiting For You
Describe where you want to be: All Over The World
Describe what you want to be: Blown Away
Describe how you live: Head On
Describe how you love: Make Believe
Share a few words of wisdom: Distance Equals Rate Times Time

That was fun. Now take your favorite band and give it a whirl. BTW, I don’t currently have a girlfriend – hence my choice of titles for those questions. Unfortunately the Pixies never wrote a song entitled ‘Non-committal Man-Boy’.

{ 14 Comments }

I’m Glad Someone Had A Good Valentine’s Day!


in

It’s my distinct pleasure to welcome Cole Thomas Peden into this crazy world of ours, and it’s a better planet for having him. Best wishes to Steve, Jen and their new family. “He’s honestly a wee miracle,” says the proud new Dad, and apparently Jen is taking to motherhood “like a duck to water”. I’m not sure quite how Steve is taking to it, but I’m going to use this opportunity to drop in my personal favorite “like a fat kid to a Smartie“.

He was born at 4pm on Valentine’s day, and weighed in at 7.7 lbs. I fully expect Cole to be running his own print shop by the time he’s old enough to fire his maiden paintball. Nice work, kids. I look forward to meeting/scaring the heck out of the little guy. Yes it’s true, babies love me. And be sure to click here for a Pye in the Face exclusive – Cole’s very first music video.

{ 9 Comments }