Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

There’s Still Hope For Me Yet.


in Animalistic

“The survey showed that 85 percent of men, and 94 percent of women, don’t think it’s wimpy or needy for a man to love his cat.”

Yes… but are they heterosexual? Because I think that’s where my problem begins.

“Three-quarters of male respondents say their cats fulfill their cuddle requirements, and single men are also almost as likely as single women to consider choosing their cat over their partner.”

Choosing them for what, exactly? Anal? Forget I mentioned this article please. And that I have a cat.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: Baby Streps To MGH.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer – Have you been sick this winter? What did you have?

July 4th weekend I came down with the most awful case of strep throat imaginable. I had old friends in town, and three nights of parties planned, so I grinned and beared it like a little tipsy trooper. Come Monday, after 4 straight late nights on the razz, I could hardly even speak. I dragged myself over to MGH’s emergency room and sat down to wait. I started watching Uncle Buck on a wall-mounted television from the paleozoic era, and before I knew it, John Candy had tearfully won over Macaulay Culkin’s older sister and the nurse was calling my name. The doctor sat me down and explained he’d need to take a swab and then have me wait for another hour or two while they determined if it was indeed strep. I shook my head, pointed at my lips and opened my mouth so he could see the carnage for himself. A look of horror and revulsion washed over his face as he reached for his prescription pad and then sent me on my way. I’ve been sick 3 times since then and have decided to start paying for chewing gum rather than hunt for it under tabletops.

Soup – What colors dominate your closet?

Black, grey and forest green. I misread the ‘dominate’ part and briefly thought you were going to try and make me admit that there’s also a leather mask, stirrups and a red ball gag in there. Thank God that didn’t happen.

Salad – How would you describe your personal “comfort zone”?

As finally not including Cheez Whiz & Jalapeno enemas. I’ve tried to kick them… but they call out to me in the night as I sweat in my bed. One day at a time.

Main Course – On which reality show would you like to be a contestant?

Is there one called “Systematically Kick Every Former Cast Member of the Real World in the Teeth?” Keep me posted.

Dessert – Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?

Thanksgiving. Because I’m Canadian and I get to celebrate it twice. Stay tuned for the long awaited photos from November. I’ll get to them this weekend. Here’s a spoiler: We ate turkey and drank a lot of beer. But you didn’t hear that from me, OK?

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Snow Shovel Symphony.


in

Boston’s North End has become an extremely trendy place to live over the past decade – so landlords have been scrambling to maximize every square inch of their buildings in an attempt to squeeze any potential nickel out of their properties. The result is a lot of henhouse and basement apartments. My apartment is a split-level, but my actual bedroom is in the basement at the front of the building facing the street. And I chose it because it’s the biggest. Not because I had to mount my sex swing on the lowest possible support girder.

My bedroom windows are street level, and my view consists of feet, hunched over homeless going through my garbage and stray dogs. It’s breathtaking. But in the winter, it gets a lot worse. It’s not the drifts blocking my view, and it’s not the chilly seasonal drafts. No – it’s the 5:30 a.m. snowshovel symphony.

I work late most days. Our office hours are unconventional in that respect and as a result I don’t have to wake up until 9 a.m. So if, like last night, I decide to catch up on Tivo’d episodes of Sanford and Son or bad movies until 2 a.m. – I can still get 7 solid hours of sleep. That is unless it snows, and the folks who shovel Cleveland Place arrive before dawn to clear a path for the morning commuters.

Try and imagine what a snow shovel sounds like at 5:30 in the morning. The dirty, rusty blade scrapes along the cement incessantly – with the edge shiny and sharp from extended use – literally a foot from my unconcious head. I awake with a start and then try to figure out why I’m not actually lying on a beach beside a topless Rachel Weisz (note to self, watch Runaway Jury right before going to sleep again tonight). I bury my head under 3 pillows, groan and pray for the din to cease. When it does, I try to salvage whatever sleepy-time I happen to have left.

And, if its continued to snow, the concerto starts all over again at 8.

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Revel In My Photoshop Prowess: Illegal Elians


in

Shortly after refugee Elian Gonzales was all over the news, Bobby and Monster tried to get a bunch of us to go to some shitty Cuban-theme party at a downtown Boston dance club. The backlash was immediate. Some poked fun, some refused, some balked and I contributed a Cuban/Elian-themed Photoshop:

I used the same photo of Bobby as I did here, and the original photo of Bryan’s head is from the Tiernan’s candid gallery. I’m sure you all remember seeing the source photo at every Liberal news outlet known to man. Which is basically every news outlet known to man. Baby Monster was eventually returned to the custody of his father in Cuba, while INS agent Bobby retired and opened up his own private poontang detection agency.

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DougAndDoug.com – Intense Comedy.


in Heartwarming

I built DougAndDoug.com for my friend Doug Triconi and his comedy partner Doug Krintzman a year or so ago, and it’s about to have a bunch of new content added to it. The duo has been trying to break into the bigtime for years now – producing their own videos and performing live stand up routines in Los Angeles on a regular basis.

Have a look at the hilarious short films The Search For 5 (the boys set out on an action filled quest for a missing porno tape) and Small Town Antics (Triconi is torn between robbing a house or making a sandwich) in Quicktime on their site right now, and stay tuned for their latest odyssey in the coming weeks. You can say you “saw them here first”. Alternately, you may wish to say “What is this awful hack shit?” You be the judge. I think it’s brilliant stuff.

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