Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Back In Effect Like EPMD.


in Musical

My technical issues of the last few days have been remedied, and I apologize for the lull. When you don’t post for a day or two, and you get emails from your faithful readers asking where you’ve been, it’s a nice feeling. But I’ll have to let you know because as of right now I’m just guessing.

But why liken my heralded return to the comeback of a pioneering hip-hop group, you ask? Because a four-day blog absence is similar in many ways to dropping out of favor in the rap world. Gold chains are in short supply. You develop a startling dependency on malt liquor. Your clothing ceases to be “fresh”. You can no longer claim to have “drama, hoes”. I could go on – and I might. After some more malt liquor.

If I were prone to lying, I’d tell you that I spent my downtime pining for the ability to vent publicly online. I’d tell you that my inability to let off steam and share my insights with the world nearly led to an anyeurism of fatal proportions. And if I were a truthful soul, I’d tell you just how much fun you can have playing San Andreas for 8 hours while inadvertantly covering your couch with half-eaten honey roasted peanuts that you can get for $2 a can at the CVS on Hanover Street. And that I will likely die alone having just sort of admitted that is indeed how I spent the majority of my weekend. I suppose the next step is to grow a ponyatil and get a tarantula?

Regardless of my penchant for arachnids and dying alone, I’m back in full effect. And I’ll play a little catch up this week, too. So keep watching/looking away uncomfortably. And best rap group ever, while we’re sorta on the subject.

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I’m Spent. I’m Out. I’m Done.


in

I am looking forward to this week, simply because I have absolutely nothing planned. No concerts, no birthdays, no nights out, no Christmas parties – nada. I am going to work, sleep, then work again… and it will be lovely in it’s lethargy.

My wick is whacked. My midnight oil is burnt. My liver could probably be sold to medical science as a freakishly resilient oddity. I’m thankful for all my friends and the accompanying healthy social life – but I honestly want to move to a cabin in the woods Kazinsky-style, write a rambling manifesto about cheese and speak only to squirrels.

Don’t cry for me. There are worse problems to have. But do go and go see Ocean’s Twelve. It was surprisingly excellent.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: A Scumble In The Bronx.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: Make up a word and give us its definition.

Balderdash is the best board game ever devised. If you’ve played it, you already know that the object is to try and bluff/fool your friends into picking your phony definition of a real, but little known, word. One night, senior year of high school, Mike, Kent, Nate and a few others were playing it around my kitchen table. I got the word ‘scumble‘ and defined it as “Any fight taking place in West Concord“. When that particular group would get together and play, the game would become about cracking up your friends. That was one of the hardest laughs I’ve ever had. But I don’t want anyone to think we spent our Friday nights sitting inside playing board games because that would be uncool. Not at all – Friday nights were for Dungeons and Dragons.

Soup: What is currently your favorite song?

I’ve previously stated that pound-for-pound, my all-time favorite song is There Goes The Fear by The Doves. And I imagine it always will be. The Pixies’ amazing rendition of Something Against You last night at Avalon would run a close second. But the album I’m currently playing the hell out of at work is Lou Reed‘s New York. I haven’t given it any attention for a decade, and it’s still brilliant.

Salad: What’s at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?

“My Christmas Wish List” in big, red crayon.

Main Course: Name a scent that reminds you of someone in your life.

Hi Karate always reminds me of a shop teacher I had in grade 7. The rumor was, that this guy had removed the inside of his pants pockets. And had once, while he was holding a piece of wood or a hammer or something, asked a student to reach into his pocket to get a tape measure – where they then found themselves grasping a semi-chubbed giggle stick. This story spread like wild-fire throughout our school, and I always felt bad for the man because he seemed absolutely harmless when I was locked in his office with him looking at Austrian pornography.

Dessert: Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn’t be?

Jon Stewart. He’s adored by hundreds of thousands of young, impressionable people who are too thick to discern real news from satire. And he’s violently partisan, which makes it all the more unhealthy. I am the complete opposite of a Jon Stewart fan. Used to go see his stand-up, now all I want to do is see him fall down – on a chainsaw.

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Revel In My PS Prowess: The Lawn Boy.


in

Busy day at work today, but I want to put something up for my loyal minions. I have a collection of silly Photoshops that I’ve done over the last year and a half, and I thought I’d share a few. Most of them make fun of Monster and/or Bobby – so this should be good for a cruel laugh.

About a year ago, Bobby shared a story with us about how he woke up on his front lawn with his pants off. But who hasn’t? I quickly whipped this up and sent it to 100 of our closest friends. The picture of Bobby was taken from a photo of him spinning some woman on a dance floor. I simply took the cha-cha and fashioned it into an incapacitating outdoor hangover.

Then I got a little more creative…

And then it just got downright disturbing…

I have many more silly creations and will do this again the next time I’m strapped for material. Off to the Pixies tonight, then I’m going into hiding to recover from this zany week. Stay real.

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Best Birthday Present EVAH.


in Heartwarming

I’d like to say it was the presence of my close friends at Joe V’s in the South End. Or the fact that Bobby didn’t show up. But in actuality, it was the SCTV box set. Thanks due to Janet and Adam. Count Floyd be praised.

And another fervent thanks to Katie, who constructed the cake. It had mapley icing, half eaten donuts and Bob & Doug McKenzie on the top. Perfection. Also, Kate and Emily came strapped with a hilarious ‘camel-toe’ themed card and a book I’ve been wanting to read. Nice one.

Have a peek above – Emily looks on in sheer horror as Peter busts out his Hellboy. His horns were courtesy of the parmesan cheese and hot pepper dishes. I sincerely hope they washed those. Sincerely.

When I got home, I found my bedroom adorned with balloons and streamers, courtesy of Betsy and Mardi. So thanks again, one and all, for my SCTV themed birthday. I had an amazing time and was only 3 hours late for work today.

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