Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Say It Loud, Boston: The Masshole T-Shirt


in

One of my current pissah-projects is the redesign of a humor site based around the term Masshole, kid. For those of you who don’t know, simply put – a Masshole is a resident of Massachusetts. But it’s deeper than that, you cawk. You can’t just move here from Poughkeepsie and start referring to yourself that way. Massholes aren’t created on the fly, kid – they’re either born or Boston bred over many beer-and-sox-soaked years, dude.

We’ve come up with a lot of funny stuff for this site so far, and I can’t wait to roll it out to everyone in a few months. In the meantime, dig this:

I found a local T-Shirt company who are quietly making nifty Masshole T-Shirts some of you might want to know about. If you’re a certified Masshole, love the feeling of 100% cotton t-shirts against your body and have been looking for something in a Fenway/Highway 93 green, check them out, kid.

{ 6 Comments }

Scottish Wizard Movie Quotes: Napoleon Dynamite


in Movies

Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? Napoleon Dynamite : Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!

I didn’t like this movie until I actually saw it. Several friends asked me to go see it with them, but I declined. I thought I had it all figured out based solely on trailers I’d seen – nerdy guy in midwestern town gets picked on by jocks until somehow managing to overcome his nerdy hardships and win over the girl in the end. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much what happens, so I was right to an extent.

But what surprised me about the film was that at first glance the Napoleon character is totally unlikeable. He’s abrasive, grumpy, rude and living in a fantasy world to boot. A fantasy world chock full of Scottish wizards, bow staff battles and sweet jumps. He’s mean to his grandmother, his brother, his teachers, the school nurse and even a Llama named Tina. But when new student Pedro arrives at the school, Napolean befriends him immediately and he lightens up a bit.

Napoleon Dynamite : Who are you gonna ask to the dance? Pedro : That girl right there. Napoleon Dynamite : Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that? Pedro : Build her a cake or something.

“Build” a cake they do, and things start looking up for Napoleon on the social front – but every movie needs conflict, and when a girl enters the picture there are falling outs left right and center. Napoleon, through the discovery of an ancient dance lesson video, bails his friends out of a few tough situations and ultimately wins the day. And by the end of the movie you just love the kid.

Totally unformulaic, original, funny and with more heart than Ann and Nancy Wilson – I highly recommend this movie. It’s bizarre cult following has led the movie studio to reintroduce it around the country in wide-release. Go see it, GOSH!

Deb : What are you drawing? Napoleon Dynamite : A liger. Deb : What’s a liger? Napoleon Dynamite : It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic.

{ 3 Comments }

Graceland North Is Well Under Way.


in

Construction of my parent’s new house in Portland, Ontario Canada is now off to the races. To have the keys to an actual physical house that belongs to my family after 5 years of parental trailer transient behavior is going to be absolutely wonderful.

This is actually the back of the house, which faces the Big Rideau. Those tall windows above the back door will look out onto the lake, but there are enough trees on the property that there’s still an element of privacy. We can see the lake, but the lake can’t really see us. And that’s good -because I’ve been rather worried about pirates.

The top floor has 2 bedrooms and a bathroom, and I think there will be another bedroom somewhere on the first floor. My father is skeptical, but I see a lot of potential for the basement. We could easily turn it into a bar and maybe even fit a pool table or at least a dartboard down there. There’s also a garage separate from the house that has a loft which I want to see turned into a bunkhouse of sorts. The best part of having a place like this is being able to entertain – and entertain we shall. But never pirates.

{ 4 Comments }

Let’s Analyze My Room At University


in Reminiscent

Here’s another one of the photos Nick sent me. It’s Ray-Ray in my room at 113 Janefield in Guelph, Ontario – circa 1996. 3 years after this photo was taken, I would return to this house to visit, and find the room painted blue with mirrors all along one of the longer walls. To my dismay, I learned that Venditti had rented the house to a “boy band” and my room had become the rehearsal space. Fer f*ck’s sake.

But at this point in time, it was very much my own. And I thought I’d dissect some of the overabundant decor (keep in mind this is just one wall out of four).

Left to right. Well, there’s Ray-Ray. That’s a Shining poster above his head along the wall with the window. It’s my favorite scene in the movie, when Nicholson is drinking at the bar with the ghostly tender. “I’m the sorta guy who likes to know who’s buying his drinks.” As we move right, you’ll notice 4 Star Wars cups that I got at Taco Bell. Those were always really big with chicks I brought home. The R2D2 to the right of the cups is remote control operated, and I think I got it for Christmas in 1977.

The flags along the top of the room are Players Light promos that I stole from The Brass Taps. Then there’s the enormous Smiths poster behing the entertainment center. Speaking of the Smiths, further to the right are every one of their CD box covers pasted on a bristol board. I was a little obsessed for several years. Then you have the enormous Queen is Dead poster that I always loved.

Above the CD covers is a picture of JFK lodged between 2 more Lush CD boxes. God, they were a great band. I got to see them live once when they opened for Jane’s Addiction in 1991 at the Wallace Civic Center in Fitchburg, MA. Picture of Elvis and a Jerky Boys bumper sticker above that. If you’ve never played Jerky Battleship – do yourself a favor. Suede postcard.

The bookcase – stuffed kangaroo I got in Australia, Gorilla mug I got in Malaysia and stacks of CDs on the top. Books. Huge pile of Cliffs Notes top shelf to the right. And people wonder how I got through University. Bottom shelf, Movie Quotes board game. I think the box of trivial pursuit-esque cards is probably still in the office of the Brass Taps. Further right – metal Walker Muffler sign with John Madden on it. Illegible Sean Connery Goldfinger poster, and a Jamiroquai one below it.

What an interesting little time-capsule. If you’re still awake, frig off.

{ 6 Comments }