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Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Gran Torino: Eastwood, Fish Heads & Heart

by admin on January 7, 2009
in

Movies tend to become part of the mix over the Holiday Season, and by “Holiday Season” I of course mean Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Nothing, as you can probably surmise at this point, fills me with yuletide cheer quite like political incorrectness. Perhaps that is the reason I’ve already seen Gran Torino three times. Boy, do I love it when all the Academy DVD screeners get released every December!

grantorinoreview
Stay off Walt’s lawn. Seriously.

But enough about my cinematic procurement practices – Gran Torino is an excellent movie that everyone should see and the classic car may never again be associated with Starsky and Hutch. Walt Kowalski reminds me of another Eastwood character, namely Gunny Highway from Heartbreak Ridge. Both are salty war veterans with very little time for bullshit. Both will sooner swing a fist or cock a pistol than stand around chatting with “slack-jawed fruitcakes”. And, most importantly, both are hard men forced to rethink their respective prejudices when they see ways in which they can have a positive effect on a young person’s life.

Highway is a Marine Core drill sergeant, so molding said fruitcakes into masculine killing machines is his job. Kowalski, on the other hand, is a recently-widowed and exceptionally crusty retiree who regards his children, grandchildren and new Asian neighbors as unbelievable wastes of space.

“Kowalski is a recognizable type, the gruff, sometimes bigoted old man who may be hiding more heart than he lets on. Even though he’s not too caring at the start, “he ends up expressing love to a family he’s never known before,” – Clint Eastwood

The “love” in question is a long time coming. Particularly hilarious are Walt’s exchanges with the family’s Grandmother as she chews tobacco on their front porch and produces dark-brown horks that put Walt’s to shame. “Why do you still live in this neighborhood you proud old rooster?” she asks him in her ancient Hmong dialect. All of the white folks who used to live in Walt’s community, since the end of the Korean War and during his three decades working at the local Ford plant, have indeed long since died or moved away. “Johnson would turn over in his grave if he could see his lawn right now“, Walt remarks to himself during one such staring contest with Grandma.

The “hood” is now just that, with a Latino and Asian gang jockeying for position and the souls of local male residents – although my favorite scene of the entire movie is when Walt spots Sue, the youngest daughter of the neighbor’s brood, being harassed by a trio of African American gentlemen. “Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have messed with? That’s me.” When the distain with which he looks at his own grandchildren is taken into account, Walt’s prejudices may be aimed primarily at younger generations than any one ethnic group. That statement may be a little hard to swallow when he first drives up in his battered white pickup and asks the youths, “What the hell are you spooks doing?” – but bear with me. By the time the credits roll there will be no doubt in your mind that Walt Kowalski is a very good man.

When her younger brother is caught red-handed trying to steal Walt’s prized possession, a mint-condition 1973 Gran Torino which he himself “put the steering column in himself, right on the line“, a new story arc emerges. “Toad” as Walt calls him, was forced by his cousin’s gang to try and steal the car as initiation into their gang – which Walt knows full well Thao does not want to join. The confused young man becomes Walt’s project of sorts, and the two gradually form a tight bond which “saves” both of them in the end. And what a conclusion it is.

walt-toad
“I’m going to buy you some tools so you don’t have to hang out with them anymore.”

Walt starts to liken the Asian gang to the Korean soldiers he fought 50 years earlier during the war. Instead of communism, however, he is battling to save Thao and his family. “I used to stack you five-high and then use you as sand bags. Now get off my lawn“, he tells the leader whilst pointing the same M1 Garand rifle he used overseas during the first of several tense encounters throughout the film. Later in the film, after the friendship develops, he admits to him that he used the gun to blow the heads off quite a few Koreans – no older than Toad himself.

The remorse he obviously begins to feel increases as the movie progresses – particularly when he confides in his late wife’s favorite priest that “it’s not what you’re ordered to do that you remember. It’s what you’re not ordered to do.” Walt’s salvation from his frequently hinted at wartime atrocities presents itself in the form of a likeable young man who really needs his help. “Hmong girls go to college while the boys go to jail,” Sue tells him at one point. Not if Walt has anything to say about it.

I’ll leave the synopsis and the spoilers there. It’s a touching, honest film with as much humor as there is heart. The racial epithets might make a few people cringe (or protest) but that’s how some people talk and Walt, a “stupid Polack” as his barber likes to remind him, isn’t spared. I’d like to make a list of all the slang terms used in the film and probably will during my inevitable fourth viewing of this superb film. Can’t recommend it enough and if reading this “review” leads you to watch it please come back and leave a comment telling me what you thought. Likewise, if you’ve seen it, I want to hear your thoughts.

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10 Reasons I am Officially Old

by admin on January 7, 2009
in Reminiscent

Everyone must start to have moments like these in their mid-30s. These are mine. And it’s all true – every word.

  1. I asked for a nosehair trimmer for Christmas. I got a nosehair trimmer for Christmas. I love my nosehair trimmer.
  2. 80% of my gifts this year were sweaters (20% nosehair trimmers,) and I was perfectly ecstatic about that.
  3. I despise people who tailgate me. To the point of wanting to inflict grevious bodily harm. And I talk to them, in my rear view mirror. “Where’s the fucking fire?” The bastards.
  4. If I sleep later than 9am, even on the weekend, I hate myself for the rest of the day.
  5. I have a notebook full of lists with titles like “Outdoor To Dos” and “Tax Prep To Dos”. The only lists I used to maintain were of Goodfellas quotes.
  6. I recently purchased my first can of Metamucil. This, this was a tough one.
  7. In my filing cabinet, I have a folder labeled “Manuals”, full of nothing but manuals.
  8. I have a box in which I have started to save Christmas Cards and wedding invitations.
  9. The $3,000 I would have normally spent on booze in 2008 went to drywall, vapor barrier, paint, laminate flooring, a drop ceiling and a new propeller.
  10. A good portion of my free time is spent driving my Mother to and from the hospital, during which time we discuss little else but my To Do lists. “I’ll put it on my list, Ma. Yes, Ma.”

I’d be thrilled to hear about some of your own “Jesus, I’m disgustingly old” moments in the comments. Don’t be shy – we’re all going through it.

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Just Desserts. Karma. Justice.

by admin on January 3, 2009
in Politics

Sent to me this afternoon by my Mother. I don’t normally reprint silly forwards, but as I’d been meaning to comment on this topic… Well, I don’t want to give away the punchline:

“In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings – because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it’s forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry – possibly even rioting in the streets.
Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place.when this man takes up residency in this house.

This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation’s history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him – it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts – the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to “judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character”.

There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address.

His time in this house will not be easy – it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be ma ny times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly.
But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake – because in every way a man can, he asked for this.

His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.

Who is this man? You ask. You think you know, don’t you? See below.”

oj-simpson-guilty
“Judge, in my defense I’d like to say: Did you just call me a ni…?!”

There have been few moments in my life when I have been as outraged and disgusted as I was on the day when O.J. Simpson was set free for the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. I was watching the big screen at the University of Guelph’s now defunct Boo Sports Bar as the entire place erupted into cheers at the “not guilty“ verdict. I hope that in 15 years of hindsight the revelers on that day have reconsidered. Me? I’m fucking thrilled. Rot in hell, Juice and ’95 jury.

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Monday’s Quotelet: Li, We Bearly Knew Ye

by admin on January 2, 2009
in Monday's Quotelet

face-transplant
Li Guoxing – recipient of the world’s first “face-transplant” after being mauled by a bear – has died. This highlights anew the dangers associated with the procedure. And going to the zoo when intoxicated.

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Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys

by admin on December 11, 2008
in Television

There are no words. I will let Clattenburg do the talking and ruminate further in a future post.

“Over the past few months there has been a lot of discussion among our fans and those in the media about the future of Trailer Park Boys. Will there be another season, another special, another movie? The last thing we want to do is keep our loyal fans in the dark about the show we have all loved doing for the past eight years, so we’d like now to shed some light.

We have a final one hour television special, Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys, which goes to air on Showcase on Sunday, December 7, 2008. Then after that, our sequel movie, Countdown To Liquor Day (working title), is due to be released in Canadian theatres in October, 2009.

But, after that, there will be no more. Yes, it’s the end of Trailer Park Boys. Our fans have been so supportive and inspiring that we wanted you to be the first to know. Much love and thanks from all of us at Sunnyvale Trailer Park.”


“I love all creatures. Like gophers and deerts, and all those flying things and everything else – but seagulls i got no time for those cocksuckers.”

It’s going to be tough going without you boys, but I’ll manage. Somehow, I’ll have to manage. Raising a glass of Jiffy Wine to you, sirs.

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