
Obama slept a little sounder knowing he had the celibate homosexual vegetarian musician vote locked up.
Another Odyssey Ends
I’m home, I’m safe, I’m a little dehydrated – but I’m so very happy that January is over and my life is returning to some degree of normalcy. I look forward to kicking off the hilarity of regular blog posting but I have to head to Kingston for some important errands. In the meantime, please enjoy this piece I am creating for a client about some of the horrible things which have occurred in Valentine’s Day History. I’m back, kids. Lock up your daughters, liquor and maybe a couple of the dogs, too.
The Home Stretch Smells Terrible
Coming to you live from the Doubletree Hilton at 400 Soldiers Field Road in Boston – I have escaped the clutches of Florida and am slowly picking my way back to Ottawa. I stupidly booked my flight back Sunday night to coincide with the Superbowl, so I’m very proud of that. Still, when I cross the threshold of my front door and begin a several hour berating by a small orange cat who’s been waiting for me for a month, I’ll be a very happy chappy. And I can always watch the highlights.

A few days later I collect the wee baby weasels, Rhubarb and Shep. Have a look at the latest puppy gallery updates for some heart-wrenching cutie-pant photos fresh from the breeder. Although life will begin revolving around the little guys, punctuated frequently by overwhelming doodie smells, I am thoroughly looking forward to fatherhood. And I’ll be gosh darned if I leave the province for good long time. I may sneak out for some fun in Beantown this weekend prior to departure, so get at me, dawgs.
Monday’s Quotelet: Wouldn’t You Like to Be Indy Too?

“No time for love, Dr. Pepper!”
There Will Be Milkshakes
As I believe I’ve said before somewhere, I love this time of year because all of the movies nominated for Oscars, SAGs or Golden Globes end up online, long before they have been released on DVD. This is because they are released as “screeners” to the members of the various organizations who vote for the winners. As I am spending the majority of my time as a trailer-bound caregiver, I can’t say I feel too bad about maybe or maybe not downloading them all for my own amusement. That having been sorta said, There Will be Blood is the best movie I have seen in years.
That’s quite a statement, I know. Let me back it up a bit. I love period pieces and the turn of the century oil boom has been lacking for a treatment. Daniel Day Lewis and PTA are two of my favorite artisans and together they’ve made magic. It’s an amazing, beautiful, smelly, dirty universe they’ve created. And the score, although it has just been disqualified for an Oscar for a few silly reasons, will have you snapping your fingernails off on the armrest. So, basically, I wanted to write about it today, but there’s no shortage of reviews or stories about it online – so what do discuss? And it’s no fair getting too specific as you risk spoiling the movie for others. When I searched to see what clips were available on YouTube, I found a send up of the “milkshake scene”, so I’m going to talk about that.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCCdZmHk5Fk[/youtube]
Daniel Plainview doesn’t like Eli Sunday. And it’s hard to blame him, even though by the conclusion of the movie Daniel is no bargain himself. The last time they meet, Eli asks Daniel for money he feels he is owed for a land lease / oil deal they made many years before. Plainview explains why Eli will never see the money because he sucked all the oil off of Eli’s land without actually ever having had to physically drill on it. He uses milkshakes as an analogy. It is one of the most electrifying scenes I’ve ever enjoyed.
“Drainage! Drainage, Eli! Drained dry, you boy! If you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake and I have a straw and my straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!”
The last sentence is followed by a violent slurping sound that Day-Lewis should win the oscar for based on alone. Some cheeky bugger has edited the audio together using the song “Milkshake” by Kelis – and it made me laugh. So there you have it. No Country for Old Men is an excellent movie as well, but TWBB gets my vote for the oscar… for the next five years. Go see it. If you’re a male you will love it. If you’re a female, I’m sure there’s a ticket or two left for Juno or Atonement. Here is the proper version of the scene.
Update: It’s always somewhat defeating when someone else has already done something you want to do… better.
