Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Major Friggin’ Disconnect


in

Somehow in spite of my jalopy laptop, long weekend trip and intermittent as frick internet connection I hast doth returned. Getting to Toronto in a car from here usually takes 3 hours. It took 7 on Friday night and 5 the other way on Sunday. I managed to pick the worst Canadian winter in a decade and a half, literally, to relocate to the countryside and it’s doing my head in. Dead network card in the laptop, and now that I managed to hook up an old desktop to keep me working – the internet connection drops out for hours on a whim. So there’s my excuse for my MIAness. Let’s see if I can catch up for the week so far in 5 minutes or less.

Veekend Video: Mitch continues to moisten undergarments everywhere with his latest ad campaign. See you at the Best Buddy X-Mas party, where I’ll be selling spare undergarments at the “captive audience” price of $40:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT1qt4A7xxc[/youtube]

Quotelet: The only photos I’m remotely interested in showing you are the first three official production stills hot off the press for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I was going to link to them here – alas I just found out the studio demanded AICN take them down. Oh well, here’s a photo of one of the temple miniatures made for the film instead. And Karen Allen‘s (Marion Ravenwood) knitwear store which is located in Great Barrington, MA. Good heavens she is looking lovely for 55. It seems like only yesterday I was a 7-year-old watching her nude scene in Animal House whilst rubbing myself in the pants.

Wadio: The only sweet dulcet tones you need to hear today are those of your heartstrings plucking… as you check out 11 new photos of my puppy, Shepherd Pye! He had his dew claws yanked on Friday and is apparently fat, healthy and cantankerous. I’m all for gender-neutrality,but I’ll have to speak to the breeder about the pink pussywillow and snow white blanket backdrop. Shep will be drinking mineral water and collecting Joan Crawford postcards before he’s housebroken.

A Few More Notes:

  • I like the new Foo Fighter’s song (the road to ruin one) and I’m relieved as I’ve been thoroughly uninterested in everything since “Learn to Fly”.
  • You know it’s 2007 (and possibly End of Days) when CNN spends the entire day discussing the fact that Romney’s Western faith might hurt him in the election – free campaign advice: start wearing a bhirka.
  • I have killed 11 mice so far in my effort to rid our garage and the Winchester of vermin. Don’t bother with the traditional wooden traps. There are these new fangled plastic ones that force mice to lift a flap to access the bait – so gone are the days of stolen cheese lumps and unsprung traps.
  • I posted my Amazon wish list in the sidebar in case anyone wants to get me something for my birthday (tomorrow) or Christmas. Call it gift-insurance, Blade Runner begging or DVD on bended knee if you like. On a related note, I have just realized that there is nothing more obnoxious than posting your Amazon wish list in your sidebar.

Thanks for your patience, kids. Missing a day on here truly bothers me and I’m striving to get PITF back to the level of activity it enjoyed this time last year. I encourage you all to comment and participate in the Quizzlets once again. I’m one year older tomorrow, but short of freezing to death in a ditch in my Charger-coffin the blog will be around for a long time to come.

{ 5 Comments }

Friday’s Quizzlet: D.P. Phone Home


in Friday's Quizzlet, Giant Squids, Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?
Rollercoasters are great and everything, but the rides I remember most fondly from childhood is the old 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride at Disneyland in Florida. It’s been gone since the early nineties, now replaced by Ariel’s Cavern or some silly thing. It’s not even a ride, apparently. I bemoaned the loss of this excellent attraction, based on first live action movie Disney ever did which in turn is based on the Jules Verne novel, at length in a post a couple of years ago that still hold a lot of water, no pun intended. OK… maybe a little pun. My original 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Ride article seems to be missing at the moment so check out the following video for more information on this once mighty giant squid extravaganza.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP8_3olnlnc[/youtube]

Soup: How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?
With humor, of course. Diffusing tense situations is probably why humor was invented in the first place. There’s a hidden camera show on MTV called Boiling Points where actors put unsuspecting civilians in ridiculous situations that are designed to infuriate them. A waiter who farts and puts his thumb in their coke, a creepy guy who follows you around a flea market, A guy steals your coffee off the counter and an employee who won’t give you another unless you pay again – you get the picture. If the target of the bit keeps their cool for a certain number of minutes they win $100 when the caper is finally revealed. I enjoy watching this show because so many of the victims get insanely angry that it’s refreshing and impressive when one of them starts making light of the situation and looks for the funny side. Realizes the ridiculousness of the situation and pokes fun at the actors, etc. These are the sorts of people I’d want to have a beer with. Most people suck.

Salad: On a scale of 1-10, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?
I’d say it’s a solid 3. If you seek out conversations of that sort, you’re either a priest, a physicist, a shaman or a pretentious asshole. I’ve never been a big fan of recreational drugs,but there was that one time when a big old bag of magic mushrooms found its way into my dorm. There were many deep, philosophical conversations taking place that weekend, I can tell you. Come Monday, I don’t think any of us could remember or care less about a single one of them, and that says it all for me right there.

Main Course: Did you get a flu shot this year? If not, do you plan to?
I’ve had my annual dose of excruciating strep throat all ready this year, thanks. And I’ll be very surprised if I get laid up with anything again. The small extent to which I get sick was always a big disappointment as a child. I once tried to pull off the E.T. thermometer against the light bulb trick which my mother caught on to in a matter of seconds. “According to the thermometer, you’re… on the surface of the sun right now, or Satan”. My poor diet may be my undoing this winter, however. I am keeping healthy eating in mind when I shop and prepare meals, but it’s just no fun to put a lot of effort into cooking when you’re alone. I’ll take another Velveeta slice covered in sub sauce in hand and maybe get around to something a little more complicated, like Kraft Dinner, tomorrow.

Dessert: Approximately how many hours per week do you spend watching television?
Technically at the moment, a shitload. The TV keeps me company in the background all day every day while I work. Considering I haven’t watched a lick of TV for the 5 months prior, I’m not losing any sleep over my recent saturation. I think I’ll devote an article soon to all the interesting crap I’ve discovered. You can also check out my recent bad movies and reality TV posts which go down the same road. Yeah, quizzlet. I’m brushing you off. I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me today. I’m looking out the window right now, and I feel like I’ve just come out the backside of the Wardrobe. Thank goodness my snow tires were put on yesterday.

{ 0 Comments }

Meet Shepherd Pye


in Animalistic, Heartwarming

My little, hairy bundle of joy was delivered yesterday to his proud parents Pixie and Oscar. I had first pick of the litter and I chose Shepherd Pye, or ‘Puppy C’ as he was formerly known, based on his classic Boston Terrier markings. The breeder herself said that if she was going to keep one of the litter for herself, Shep would have been the one. All of the puppies are cute, don’t get me wrong, but if you’re going to pay the purebred price you want the animal with the best stud value, etc. Click here for a photo of proud little Pixie and her litter, and here’s the wee man of the hour himself.

Boston Terrier Puppy

I’ll be picking Shepherd up around the 14th of February and am allowed to go and visit him as of January 23rd (7 weeks from now). It’ll be a long wait, as the breeder is just down the road from me, but she is very serious about protecting the puppies from diseases and meeting too many new people before they’re of a very specific age. As this is my first dog, and I’m only half way through the first of several dog books I’ve collected leading up to this, I will defer to her in all matters of dogginess. Wow – this is really happening.

{ 1 Comment }

Wednesday Wadio: Okkervil River’s ‘A Girl in Port’


in Wednesday Wadio

“Cindy tells me she’s had fun sitting backstage, someone’s plus one. Up in her room the records spin, needle in the grooves that she’s worn thin. She lifts a sleeve and sees a name, and she’s got a smile on her face, and she’s got a story you can’t see: it’s just between that name and Cindy“.

I wrote about Okkervil River’s 2005 masterpiece ‘For Real‘ about a year ago and I have to give them the floor once again. Their latest album is called The Stage Names and it’s solid from beginning to end. The song that really jumped out at me, which I’ve sent to all my friends – that I listen to daily, that I’ve learned to play on the guitar, that I’m currently obsessed with – is ‘A Girl in Port‘. I found an excellent live video version which I’ll post below, but I also encourage you to download the MP3 here (free) as it took me a few listens to fully appreciate and is a definite keeper.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWYcXnxieb4[/youtube]

The song is a sort of ode to rock and roll groupies and each verse sees the protagonist describing his relationship with a different member of someone’s road harem. But the harem isn’t his – rather Will Sheff’s lyrics seem to bemoan the emotional states of Marie, Holly and Cindy more than anything. The narrator distances himself from from “the lady-killing sort” and stresses that he has no desire to “hurt a girl in port”. The way I see it, he is secretly in love with the three girls, but is either in the “friend zone” or romantically invisible to these doomed women who have nothing but rock stars in their sights. It’s a touching piece of work with a great, erratically appearing chorus which doesn’t follow the structure of most tunes. I love it, have a listen.

{ 1 Comment }

Guiltless Movie Pleasures


in Movies

When my parents left for Florida last month I moved my office down to a fold-out table/desk thing on the main floor. I keep the TV on all day (surprisingly, the background noise helps me concentrate) and between working and chilling spend the vast majority of my time on the same couch in close proximity to the idiot box. I ordered a big cable package and the possibilities when it comes to movie channels are painfully endless. I don’t envy the people who have to program these channels. Filling 24 hours every day of the month with enough unique content to keep subscribers happy must be a daunting task. Not surprisingly, I have watched some pretty obscure and forgotten movies recently that I’d like to discuss. BTW – my country ass connection won’t let me upload photos today, so no quotelet.

Andre (1994): This sea salty tearjerker, in the tradition of Flipper and Free Willy, tells the tale of an aquatic creature named ‘Andre’ who becomes a pet to a small family in Maine (I think). The little daughter becomes the mischievous seal’s biggest fan and after it bugged me for a half an hour I finally realized it was a 9-year-old ‘Deb’ from Napoleon Dynamite. Anyway, not to put too fine a point on it, I largely ignored the movie until I started to hear the fart sounds. If I had a nickel. The seal, who is actually a sea lion playing a seal, gives a big old raspberry to anyone who is mean to a family member or with whom he is otherwise displeased. I watched the last 45 minutes intently, patiently waiting for the Bronx cheers which would then have me laughing hysterically. And you won’t believe how cute the whiskers on this thing are. I’d definitely pick this up for my younger cousins. Cute, funny and a little naughty, tee hee.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaQLFlrbxU4[/youtube]

Alien Nation (1988): When the TV series spin-off hit Fox in the early 90s, I used to watch it on Monday nights without fail. But I forgot how… good… the original movie is. The cast is solid: James Caan plays the tough-as-nails cop who has to partner with a ‘newcomer’ the day after his partner is killed by one. Mandy Patinkin plays ‘San Francisco’, the new partner and new resident of Planet Earth who stares adversity in the face and all that good stuff. The slang term for a newcomer, “slag”, is an obvious nod to your pick of human racial epithets and the story hinges heavily on Detective Francisco’s ability to rise above the human scorn and become an excellent lawman. Terence Stamp rounds out the cast as the main baddie and the flick is an action-packed slug-fest with great, funny dialogue between Caan and Patinkin and a slanted take on the buddy cop movie.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6dMTwURRns[/youtube]

Ghost Dog (1999): I think the very definition of ‘suspension of disbelief’ is accepting a chunky Forrest Whittaker as a sort of lithe urban samurai. Unless the ancient code has somehow been changed to “my sword must taste blood every time it is unsheathed… and then I must eat 6 corn dogs.” A good friend of mine has sung the praises of this film to me for years, so I sorta paid attention when it ran on TMC this very afternoon. The narrative structure pulls chapters from the samurai creedo which act as… chapters, applying to the Dog’s adventure and actions along the way. I knew the soundtrack had been produced by the RZA before I looked the movie up as the gritty beats are unmistakable and lend themselves well to the tone of the movie. And I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of a 70-year-old mobster dancing around to his bathroom to ‘Cold Lampin’ With Flava’ and reciting it word for word while dumping talc in his ass crack. A truly unique movie and I done liked it.

What’s the ‘worst’ bad movie you’ll admit to loving? This site used to get lots of comments from many different people every day – and I know most of you are still reading. How about a little give and take here? A little tete a tete? Some cinematic back and forth, perhaps? Where is Alexa, Cato, Mike, Kellie and Janet? Where’s DVS, Smash and Timmy the Keyhole? Where’s Greg, Duck, Watergirl and Loo Loo? Who can forget JV, Monster, Hammer and Heather? Come back to me, my children of the night.

{ 8 Comments }