Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Snap, Crack, Pop.


in

Last night Mike, Joanna, Janet and I wandered around to 3 different parties in the South End. We didn’t get back to Medford until nearly 6am, so all told I technically spent 10 hours doing the New Year’s thing. As I was the driver, it was obviously a bit challenging to remain amused the entire time. So I started making up Saddam Hussein jokes. As you do.

Q: What was Saddam Hussein’s favorite wine?
A: Earnest and Julio Gallo.

Q: What was Saddam Hussein’s favorite Three’s Company character?
A: Mr. Roper.

Q: What was Saddam Hussein’s favorite Chubby Checkers song?
A: Twisting the Night Away.

And my personal favorite:

Q: What was Saddam Hussein’s favorite INXS song?
A: New Sensation. (Say it fast).

I didn’t say they were funny. My mission was made even more urgent by the number of people who became thoroughly disgusted with my work – which obviously just encouraged me. I hope everyone got home safe, and here’s hoping for a doozy of a 2007.

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2007th Heaven.


in

Jimminy crickets I hate telephones. My new $300 Nextel has decided it doesn’t want to hold a charge today so if you call to wish me a Happy New Years, please leave a message – and same to you. It’s going to be a very good year.

When I was 33… it was a very good year. It was a very good year for Yonge Street girls who lived up the stairs. With all that perfumed hair. And I had a restraining order against me. When I was 33.

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12 Synthetic Dancing Princesses.


in

How did you spend your Friday night? I am coaching little Griffin through the latest PS2 game I rented for her from Gamefly. You have to do little dances with Barbie to collect gems to help a kitten rescue a princess. It’s not so terrible actually. I’ll try to explain.

When I worked in England, there was a German guy who came in every Thursday night and drank baby mixers of Canada Dry. Since non-drinkers in England stick out like sore thumbs, I once asked why he was so fond of the ginger ale. His answer went something like this: “The amount you can party or go crazy in one lifetime is like a candle wick. Some people burn through theirs quicker than others, and I am all done.” If I were to apply that analogy to my own life, the flame would have spread to the curtains and burnt down the entire house, ages ago.

I don’t think it’s unusual for maturity to be a sudden and conscious, black and white decision – and not necessarily a gradual progression. If I were married, had a mortgage or my own children I’d have mellowed out years ago, naturally. My personal development is synthetic and born of necessity. And I like it.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: Resolute in Resolutions.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: How do you usually celebrate on New Year’s Eve?
It’s usually alcohol-driven and breathtakingly unremarkable. My favorite was probably watching fireworks in Sydney harbor in 1996. I think the key is doing something you don’t normally do every weekend. Getting juiced in a friend’s apartment is just an insult to Baby New Year. Base jump off the Prudential or something.

Soup: Name one thing unexpected that happened to you in 2006.
I promised I’d never tell. I will substitute “decided to move to Toronto” for the real answer.

Salad: Where was your favorite place that you visited in 2006?
I went North a lot. About 8 times at final count. A full, permanent transition to Toronto is slated for Feb/March, and I suppose the best answer I can give is “Canada”. I just got off a plane from Toronto and can’t wait to get back. JV and I spent the day driving around the city scouting neighborhoods.

Main Course: What resolution is your top priority for 2007?
Taking good care of my poor, aging body – and more importantly learning to moderate the nasty things I put into it. Except maybe for the rubber marital aids.

Dessert: Using just three words, describe 2006.
Enough is enough.

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