Search Results for: davepye

Today Canada is in the process of electing (by all poll indications) the first Conservative government in over 12 years. I elect not to talk about politics too much on this blog (see what I did there?) but it’s no secret whom I’d be voting for were I still living within the borders of the Great White North. There’s a special place in my imagined hell for Carolyn Parrish, Paul Martin and the rest of the thoughtless backhanded critics who’ve been tarnishing relations left and right. And by thoughtless, I of course simply mean I want to see them all die in a hotel fire.

That having been said, I’m probably whistling Dixie here (or maybe whistling Dundas) because none of my American readers know the first friggin’ thing about Canadian politics anyway – and this is one of the reasons I like Stephen Harper so much. He loves him some Yanks, and all the embarrasing anti-American commentary coming out of Parliament for the last decade is hopefully at an end. I am an Ameridan and I cannot vote in either country at the present time. I want the kids to play nice, as I’m torn between them like a gay cowboy with kids. The only thing most Americans can tell you about Canada as of late are the ridiculous statements they’ve heard from her pinkish politicians. And that they never lock their doors and have all been taught to stalk and kill polar bears with whalebone hunting knives.

Most Yanks, bless them, will also be able to tell you that Canada is up North somewhere and there are apparently lots of fish, trees and French people. Listen, my fellow (sorta) Americans – stop wondering whether or not you’re going to see a sasquatch the next time you visit downtown Toronto, and read up on what’s happening there today. It’s about to get very interesting for the first time in painfully polite ages.

After 12 years in power, Monday’s election saw Paul Martin’s Liberal Party scrambling for last minute vote-getters. We will have to wait until tomorrow to see if new mascot ‘Lucky the Healthcare Greyhound’ made much of a difference.

Chernobyl’s once-thriving pet industry faced many challenges in the early nineties.

I thought I was out of the woods with this whole dentistry dilemma. However, I’m here at the office friggin’ partying and moving stuff around and assembling new furniture, and in my ultimate wisdom I thought it would be a good idea to eat a Jolly Rancher. My new crown popped off like a dandelion head, and my Saturday night has taken a turn for the even worse.

Can I just go back to having to work on Saturday night, without the Medieval torture aspect? And I just ordered a calzone, too. Just as long as no one shows up wearing chainmail and intending to burn my genitals off with a hot piece of iron.

Finally, C-Town gets their props in the form of Wedding pictures from Doug and Cara’s ceremony out in Whistler. Big up, big up. If you’ll remember, my camera mysteriously broke and no one else bothered to send me any snaps. Wicked thanks, by the way. Here is a little sample, and there is another one in the gallery here. Doug is a lucky guy. Cara is… um… lovely.

Has rap gotten extraordinarily awful, or have I just gotten old? It’s a question which has plagued me for years. I’ve even written about on this very website. There’s nothing about bling, oversized baseball hats, expensive cars or beats that sound like they were made on a rusty Speak N Spell that appeal to me. “I’m a player, a smoker, a deadly loan broker!” If a rap song doesn’t contain a creative sample I wonder, how much of this is dumb luck or crack debts being repayed? And it kills me – because I used to be a huge hippedy hopper, albeit a subtle one. So where’s the real disconnect?

There’s still a slim enough chance that some of you haven’t seen this that I feel comfortable pointing it out. And I read a great quote written about the silly short that makes me feel a little closer to some answers.

“People aren’t forwarding this video because it’s a parody of what’s bad about rap; they’re sending it around because it’s an ode to what can be great about it. Instead of aurguring a new day for SNL, maybe it points up what’s missing in mainstream rap is an awareness that it’s OK to be goofy.”

The greatest moment’s in rap’s golden age were all silly – sometimes intentionally. The first big rap hit of all time featured fairies, keopectate and woody chicken. Phife busted off on your couch and made it Seaman’s furniture. Biz Markie picked boogers like it was his job. Is this what I miss so much? Can I not truly enjoy a rap song anymore unless someone rhymes “birthdays” with “worst days”?

Hip hop the hippie to the hippie the hip hip hop, a you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang the boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat, indeed.

Hat tip to Moynihan for this one.