See What I Did There?

I saw my sister last night, and apparently looked so unhealthy that she promptly staged a Whole Foods intervention. I was told she’d be picking me up today, which she did, to take me to get some healthy food for my pale, pasty-self. The placed was mobbed, the clientele either hippyishly annoying or yuppishly annoying – but I may never shop anywhere else again. Wholey Shit! See what I did there?

So $200 worth of hommous, stuffed grape leaves, granola, fruit and vegetables later – I’m stocked up and ready to start my anti-pasty health food party. Who knew they made lite havarti? If whole foods sold booze, I’d be all set. Why hasn’t anybody thought of whole-grain alcohol yet? See what I did there?

Note to self, just feed the tuna mayonnaise. Call Starkist.