Saturday night I was at a friend’s holiday party, and we were all having a terrific time. At some point towards the end of the evening, I went upstairs to use the 2nd bathroom and had a little trouble getting back down. That is to say – my friends found me in a large pool of blood at the bottom of one of the staircases, knocked the fuck out.
I mashed my face off of about 10 steps in total, and when I finally went to the hospital yesterday I became their guest for 11 hours. My nose is broken, gashed, and I have a 3 inch tear in my inside lower lip. Why am I telling you all this instead of being embarrassed and keeping it to myself? The answer is simple – I am going to look like Mitch Green for the next month, and am also going to get really tired of telling the story (and frightening children) again and again.
I have been in a far worse scrapes over the years but have never looked as bad as this. My face looks like a ripe plum, and this is going to be an awesome way to see all my extended family at Christmas. “SURE you fell down the stairs, Dave. What does the other guy look like?” Oh alcohol, my fickle friend. This might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back/nose. Resolution calling, anyone?
The more I think about it, the more I think this may have been my intended Belushi/Farley “dead at 33” moment. So I intend to flip off the reaper and stop bloody drinking for a good long while. Until he forgets this is my year, anyway.
Now that we know you are OK you can post some pictures. Given it is too late for Halloween, but we forgive you
-A
I guess I’ll have to exchange that bottle of screech I bought you for a pair of Groucho Marx glasses.
Tell you parents a girl did it to you and watch your father’s last dreams for his son get sucked down the drain.
DAMN!! Hell I’ll be the girl that did it to ya…you can make up some crazyass story!
Pye guy, that totally sucks! Hey, don’t joke about the Belushi/Farley thing because fate does not appreciate being taunted. Count your blessings, enjoy the holiday season and thank the powers that be for the fact that you won’t always looks this this…
Remember, Dave, nobody likes a quitter. Don’t stop drinking!!!
Next time take precautions…. like a hockey helmet with full face mask (you can get one cheap up here in the north).
Or, instead of taking the treacherous trek to the toilet… defile yourself. Urine is much easier to clean out of your clothes than blood…. um.. at least that’s what I hear.
Did you get a CT scan of your head?
So long as you’re ok that’s the important thing…and your face can’t look that bad, you handsome buck- heck you probably look rugged and tough even!
Yeesh. Hope you are feeling better and all the swelling and bruising goes down quickly. Ouch.
Plaskos – Yes, and I have a nasal fracture. I am going to the plastic surgery department tomorrow. I will post a photo later today, as this is just too ridiculously gruesome not to mark for posterity.
PyeMan, as a fellow “fall down the stairs and get severly injured” guy I fell your pain. Good to hear your doing much better now. It’s not going to be an easy road back but you’re a trooper and I’m sure you’ll be back badder than ever.
Take care of yourself.
No more walking and drinking for you. Friends don’t let friends fall horribly down the stairs. Way to go big guy!
OH MY HEAVENS TO BETSY! I hope you were drunk! That totally stinks! I am so sorry to hear about this, hopefully you will be better in no time!!
Hm, the bathroom/stair case story sounds a bit far fetched. Dave, are you sure that your friend was fully contained with his/her X-mas gift? May be you should reconsider the DVD gift idea.