Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

What Is The Deal With Chunky’s?


in Consumables

Has anyone been to this new place Chunky’s? I guess the two-word elevator pitch would be “Indoor Drive-In”. There’s one in Pelham and one in Haverill. I’m seriously considering getting a dog team, a compass and a flare gun together to see if I can go find one of these joints. It’s like Chuck E. Cheese with a DUI.

Well what we do here at Chunky’s is pretty amazing. First, we seat you at a table in one of our spacious cinemas. Depending on the cinema your movie is playing in, our tables are designed to accommodate 2 to 8 people. Your leather chair is the driver or passenger seat from a Limousine and will have one armrest, recline, and is on wheels. Your waiter or waitress will take your order so you don’t have to miss any of the good parts! Our menu selections currently include beer & wine, soft drinks, and a variety of pub-style food selections. Most theaters will open at least an hour before the movie starts. You may also order throughout the movie.

Is it somehow intrinsically wrong that I really want to go see Wedding Crashers at Chunky’s? This seems like a great idea that would be very popular in theory – so why does one need a sherpa, a Mohican scout and a divining rod in order to get out there?

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Friday’s Quizzlet: The Prayers, The Vitamins, The Vinegar.


in Monday's Quotelet

Appetizer: If you could make an even trade for any car, what would you drive?
I gave my car to charity a few years ago. I never used it, and it was dilapidating rapidly. Wow, that was fun to say – rapidly dilapidating. I live about as downtown in Boston as you can get and can walk to work. But a new car is definitely on my horizon. If I traded in what I have now (nothing) for the equivalent, I’d obviously end up with a ’72 Gremlin or a uni-rickshaw.

Soup: Take your phone number and add each number – what’s the total?
Let’s see here. The total is… carry the one… the total is a total waste of time. Which is perfectly at home here on Pye in the Face, but this is not your best work, Quizzlet. For shame.

Salad: When were you last outside, and what were you doing?
Two hours ago I was walking to work across Boston common in a black, long-sleeved button down and jeans. It’s casual Friday, afterall. Unfortunately, it’s also mid-July and strolling through Beantown is like being on the surface of Mars in a fur-lined snowsuit. So I’ll be hitting the gym for a shower in the not too distant future. It’s quite Presidential to walk into your office and then spend the next 30 minutes sweating all over interns, though.

Main Course: What’s your favorite restaurant, and what do you usually order?
I have a bunch, and I’ve already mentioned Greek Food below, so I’m gonna go off on a tangent and talk about Gagsters. I drove over to the American side of Niagara Falls to hit this place about 7 years ago, and it’s been on my mind fricking daily ever since. Huge, delicious square pizzas that can feed 6 people, tasty towers of Buffalo wing baskets with the best sauce I have ever tasted (so you know it’s vinegary). If you’re ever in the neighborhood (East Market Street) get your fat ass in there and make it a little bit fatter.

Dessert: Name 3 things in which you occasionally indulge.
Greek food is God. I will snarf down Saganaki and Dolmadakia like a blistered, twitching crack whore. I also have a weakness for NHL 2K5 and Hogan Knows Best at the moment. And here you thought I was going to say ‘crack’ or something. “Say your prayers, eat your feta and stay out of the meth labs, brother!”

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CSI: Sunnyvale Trailer Park.


in

Modern fingerprint technology, ultra-violet light and DNA evidence assist in the capture and conviction of a decent percentage of today’s criminals. But all of these practices would be nothing without old-fashioned police legwork and intuition. Take little Patty Trimble, for example. He had Ohio’s finest running in circles whilst in pursuit of him for the inhalation of harmful intoxicants. Through a combination of a full neighborhood canvass, an anonymous tip and that frigging thing they do with the superglue on the car windows – they eventually got their man.


Listen – I’m no Lex Luthor. But Patty, if you don’t want to get arrested for huffing spraypaint – maybe don’t show up three times in the same day to buy a can at the local Dollar Store store blathering incomprehensibly and looking like the lovechild of Craig T. Nelson and Golddust next time. I’m just sayin’.

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Reigning Quotelet Champ: Give ‘Er, Keo.


in Pye in the Face

Reaction to the Quotelets was fast and fierce when I started them a few months back. Recently though, the participation has petered out and I can’t help but think it’s because I’d never conceeded defeat. I am happy to announce that I’ve finally been unsurped, and I’m hoping that fact will breathe some life back into these little interactive literary bastards.

Way to go Keo – although only a handfull of us will get the joke, and I am not going to explain it to the rest of you for fear of being convicted of a hate crime, it was fricking hilarious and I’m officially giving you the conch. Your name has been added to the new current champ listing on the left, and I hope you stay there for many weeks. Send me a photo and I’ll add it too. And to the rest of you – this can be a lot of fun, so let’s keep ‘er going. Bragging rights get me out of bed in the morning.

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Wednesday Wadio: Okkervil River’s ‘For Real’


in Wednesday Wadio

I have been listening to these guys incessantly for 2 days now after a friend suggested I check the scene. “For Real” off Okkervil River’s 4th album, Black Sheep Boy, starts out quiet and measured, turns into a screaming spittle-fest fairly quickly and then gets all kinds of Neil Young on your ass during the denoument. Their other album I have heard, Don’t Fall In Love With Everyone You See, had me appreciating the country-esque more than I ever remember having prior, and I love the move they seem to have made into less Oakie rockingness. Texas by way of New Hampshire.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsQC6rGjInc[/youtube]

I’ve added the song to Radio Pye, and it’s the first tune that will play when you hit the zap button – until next Wednesday, that is. If you like what you hear, visit their website – and check back in a week for another widiculous Wadio Wednesday. Since you can only listen to, and not download, these songs, I hope to avoid jail time at least temporarily. Enjoy the audio while you can.

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